17 High School Urban Legends We Want to Believe
Written by Elain Atwell
There is a world underneath the world of education. Messages embedded in the static of the morning announcements, treasures hiding in the chalkboard dust, and a secret set of rules known only to a few. You may have heard of some of these classroom legends, but others are known only to those on the fringes. Welcome to the Dark Side.
在教育世界之下还有另外一个世界。清晨训话静静传达的信息，埋藏在黑板粉尘下的宝藏，以及鲜为人知的秘密规则。你可能听过一些课堂传说，但是其他人肯只知其一不知其二。欢迎来到黑暗面！
1. If a teacher is more than fifteen minutes late to class, everyone is allowed to leave.
如果一位老师迟到超过15分钟，所有学生都可以离开教室。
2. If a teacher is more than fifteen minutes late to two successive classes, everyone is allowed to write the remainder of the semester's assignments in emojis.
如果一位老师连续两节课迟到超过15分钟，所有学生可以在本学期的作业用表情写上提醒。
3. All notes confiscated by teachers become the intellectual property of the school under United States copyright law. (This is what happened with Catcher In The Rye.)
美国版权法规定，教师随堂笔记都属于学校的知识产权，应予以充公。
4. If a teacher's bonus test questions are deemed insufficiently difficult, they will be fired (or forced to coach volleyball). 如果教师福利评估测试问题回答过于简单，他们就会被炒鱿鱼，或者去教排球。
5. EVERYTHING is on your permanent record. Even the thoughts so shameful you would deny having had them. It's all there.
你的一切信息都会被永远记录。即便你会否认那些令人羞耻的想法，但它会出现在你的记录册上。
6. The chicken nuggets are made out of every student who ever asked what the chicken nuggets are made out of.
当每个学生被问及鸡块有什么制成的时候，这位学生就不知所云了。
7. If you fill in test bubbles with a number three pencil, your answer sheet will be flagged by the NSA.
如果你使用3号铅笔写考试试卷，你的答题纸将被美国安全局盯上。
8. Under every set of gym bleachers is a tunnel. It is a subject of ongoing debate whether it leads to hell or Hogwarts.
在每组漂白剂下面都是一个隧道，这是一个关乎它将通往地狱还是霍格华兹的讨论。
9. All students with perfect attendance get an ice cream party, but the ice cream is fat free and they have to eat EVERY BITE.
所有全勤的学生可以开一个冰淇淋派对，但冰淇淋必须是零脂肪，并且他们必须一口口吃掉。
10. Algebra does not exist.
压根儿没学过代数。
11. All band teachers have secret P.O. boxes where they receive envelopes stuffed with cash from flute manufacturers.
所有乐队老师都拥有很多秘密邮箱。这些邮箱都用于接受弦乐制造商寄来的现金红包。
13. A small but significant portion of vice principals are graduates of a failed 1980s government program that offered convicted felons the choice of prison or the educational system.
一小部分位高权重的副校长都毕业于20世纪80年代的一项政府计划。该计划提供给认罪的重罪犯两个选择，要么继续坐牢，要么进入教育系统。
14. It is widely acknowledged among educators that there is no information of value in the second grade curriculum.
众所周知，对于教育者而言，课程第二版全是无用信息。
15. When enough baking soda volcanoes have been turned in as science projects, it will trigger the eruption of an actual supervolcano, which will end all life on planet Earth. No one knows what the number is, but we are believed to be getting close.
当烘烤苏打水火山做成科学项目时，它将引发一次真正毁灭地球的超级火山爆发。没人知道最高值是多少，但是我们相信距离它很近了。
16. Teacher workdays are—never mind; it's better you don't know.
老师的办公时间是--不用知道。你最好不要知道为好。
17. If a teacher is more than fifteen minutes late three times in a semester, the school must shut down. It belongs to the crows now.
如果教师一学期迟到15分钟三次，那么这所学校必须关闭。因为它现在早就变成了放牛场。