0722 contracting / wandering / attend
Once I made up my mind to get out of this situation, when I was wandering on the school path with leaves falling from the plane trees, I actually calmed down and felt as if I were going to fly. In the autumn breeze, I wanted to go wandering, anywhere is OK, not too many reasons, but a mood.
I didn’t contract my father to tell him what I think and what I have already decided to do. I thought I would have to wait until the end of the term to tell him the truth, at that time, maybe we all would face a difficult time. Before that, I hoped I could enjoy my last school life, very precious time, I didn’t realize that until many years later. I continued running in the playground after evening classes until winter, the wind blew bitterly, I found the stabbing pain in the face is better than the dull pain in the heart, or in the other word, my pain went with the cold wind, finally.
I have hardly attended any after-school activities except to read some books what I like it. Dream of the Red Chamber, in the middle school, I have read it four times, but that book, magically, only has the first eighty chapters, so I decided to read it again, now, I had a lot of time to waste.
0723 beat-up / living off / rave about
The edition I have ever read four times was beat-up, but this one was extreme new, as if no one has read it. Why do I love this book so much? Because many people rave about it? Or just only for some beautiful plants with beautiful strange names? Or just for some charming and sad poems, even for some delicious food? I have no idea, maybe, for love, simply. At that time, I was still living off my father, just was a little silly girl and didn’t realize how much influence the book had on me.
0724 tear n. v./ recognizable adj. / symbol n. /packed adj. v. / invasion n.
In recent months, many things have torn me to pieces with bitter tears, reading different kinds of books that made me feel a bit better. All joys and sorrows, birth and death, oldness and illness , is just the normal state of life. From books, I can find out my life, just like other people’s life, there is no big difference. I am a normal person, maybe, even there is no recognizable difference between I and other people, we all have the same desire, so we probably have the same pain. Sometimes, not only pain but also desire can be an invasion of our space and time, we’re stuck, and then, lost our way. We all believe in a common story, earning lots of money is succeeding in one’s life, however, there really have no other way to follow, is it true? Maybe it’s true, I just can’t think about it right now. Money is a symbol of successful life, perhaps, just one symbol only. Maybe all we need is love, not money……
I kept on reading until the end of the semester, during this period, my grades have dropped to the second lowest in my class, although my Chinese grade still can provide some confidence for me, I have completely given up hope of getting good grades, to say nothing of geeting into a good college. So, I packed my belongings, books and clothes, left the school, without hesitation, out of touch with school forevermore.