This morning, I am very unhappy and I want to give up learning English forever.
I added some English learning QQ groups where so many people pretend to learn English. Everyday there are thousands of messages and what I should do is to speak to others in English. And there all errors,including grammar,pronunciation,accent est. are not important at all. The only important thing is to open your mouth and speak English.
But I want to say, shit!bullshit!
Your English skills will never improve if you always speak something wrong and you are not aware of your errors.
The teacher at first was very excellent and I bought a lot of her lessons. She became famous but then she changed. She changes from an English teacher to a businessman. The only thing she wants to do is to make money. I want to ask her if she is lack of money.Before she said that she put her students at first and she loved her students. Yes, beautiful words but how about now. Hundreds of people are in a group and just a few coachs . Is this the right way to learn English?is this responsible to those who have paid for the training camp?
Yes, you are wealthy and famous. You have the absolute right to choose other people. Who do you want?who do you hate? Who is able to be your employee? Who is not able to be?
You added me and then I was a little surprised. I sent a message to you then never got a reply. Yeah, of course , it’s normal, you are a very important person and you are so succesful, everybody admires you, you are in the first class. Oh, certainly, you are so busy that you totally have no time to reply my message. After all, you said that you were so busy that you hired a maid to cook for you. Yeah, I understand , people like you is impossible to notice people like me. I am nobody. You, the upper you, cannot see me, the lower me. It is very common and our society is going under the rule. I know well about it.
So this morning I deleted your QQ, I don’t want to contact you anymore. I don’t want to wait and expect your reply. It’s impossible. I should have been realized it but I am so bull and stupid that I cannot think of it earlier.
So why did you add me?why didn’t you reply my message after you added me?Are you insane? Do you think I am a monkey that you can fool as you like? But I want to tell you, who do you think you are? Who give you the right to look down to others? Because you are rich or you climb a big tree?
You are liars, fronts, scoundrels, gansters and rogue!In your eyes there isn’only money. You don’t care these stupid student , you got there money and tell them to practice speaking English by themselves. If they don’t do this and there English skills don’t improve , it is certainly because they themselves do not work hard. It’s not your fault of course. lIars!
Then about myself,I am nobody, I am a loser. I dream of something but I am not able to make them come true. I am a complete loser. I can not make anything come true. I cannot change my life that I am not satisfied. I just complain and come down and give up.
I have been learning English for so many years but I cannot use it to do anything. I can not speak it fluently, I can not watch English movies without subtitles, I cannot get an English relevant job.
When I want to make use of my habits or interests, I find them weak and useless. They are just habits and interests, how dare I want to change my habits and interests to lifetime career! Am I insane? How stupid am I!
So I decide to give up.
I decide to live like nobody.
I decide to live as I have died.
I decide to live my life like this, sleep till I wake up, no alarm clock, watch TV programs lying on bed, work just for salary.
I decide to ruin my life.
I don’t want to work hard, I don’t want to get up early everyday, I don’t want to learn English everyday, I don’t want to read everyday, I don’t want to struggle anymore. I don’t want to dream anymore, I don’t want to change anymore.
I just do the job I hate , collect salary, breathe, do nothing.
No hope, no respect, no dream, no meaning, nothing.
Just breathe, or just die, stop the meaningless life.