微信公众号：狮姐玛丽
公号ID: SheIsMary
01
对于一名留学培训行业的老师，尤其是专注于美国留学的老师来说，美国内战或南北战争可以说是课堂最高频的一个词之一了。在SAT的考试中，多次出现以美国南北战争为背景的文章。更有一些经典名著和美国内战相关，比如在某种程度上激化了导致美国内战的地区局部冲突的反奴隶制小说《汤姆叔叔的小屋》，描述南北战争期间五名美国北军俘虏在荒岛故事的《神秘岛》等。
不过现在是国庆嘛，大家都在休息，狮姐也不想好好读书，哈哈。来分享一个让我非常感动的美国内战期间的一封情书。
02
在美国南北战争期间，1861年的7月14日，罗德岛第二志愿军的Sullivan Ballow沙利文·巴卢少校给他在Smithfield家中的妻子写了这封信。一周以后，也就是1861年7月21日，Manassas战役爆发，Ballow少校在此战役中牺牲。
战争中的爱情总是充满生死离别。很多的电影都向我们呈现了这些伟大而令人敬畏和惋惜的爱情，比如英国病人，卡萨布兰卡，珍珠港，乱世佳人，魂断蓝桥和战地情人等。
而我看到这封家书更感动的不仅仅是写信者Ballow少校对妻子真挚的爱，更是他真诚的流露在家庭的幸福和国家的自由之间艰难的选择。其中他写到他自己是一个孤儿，在成长的过程中，深深体会到缺失父爱的成长的痛苦，而如今他的孩子也可能将要面临他童年的遗憾。在信的最后，Ballow少校虽然不舍，却鼓励妻子带着孩子勇敢的继续生活，并在另一个世界平静的等待他们。
03
My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days—perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.
我亲爱的Sarah:
任务十分紧迫，部队将在数天内迁移，也许就在明天。我觉得有必要给你写几句话，以免今后再没有机会给你写信，这样，在我离去的时候，信就会出现在你眼前。
Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure—and it may beone of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thank to God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready.
我们的迁移可能会持续数日，这个迁移是对的。于我而言，是个矛盾的冲突，甚至意味着死亡。虽不是我的意愿，但是感谢上帝，快迁移吧。如果有将我将战死在我的国家的战场上，我已做好准备。
I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing—perfectly willing—to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this government, and to pay that debt.
对于我所投身的事业，我没有丝毫的担忧和害怕，我的勇气也没有丝毫减弱和退缩，我明白美国文明现在就完全寄托在政府的胜利上；而比起在我们之前为革命抛头颅、洒热血的先烈们，我们所欠太多。我希望 — 衷心希望 — 以今生我抛却的所有欢娱，来维护政府和偿还债务。
But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows—when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of or phanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children—is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose float scalmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?
但是我亲爱的妻子，当我知道我此生与你的那些幸福，将被我要离去的伤心代替，—作为一个品尝了孤儿的痛苦的人，现在我能为可怜的孩子所做的竟是可能让他们和我一样，成为没有父亲的孩子。我知道这听起来多么弱，甚至不够光彩，可是，Sarah,写着我的心意的旗帜在平静的浮动，在风中自豪的飘扬，那是我对你和我的孩子们无尽的爱，虽然没有用，尽管是激烈的挣扎，可是比起我爱的国家，你们会阻止我吗？
I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death—and I, suspicious that death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.
我无法用言语表达我对这个平静的夏夜的感受，当两千个人在我身边入睡，他们当中的很多人，可能这是他们死亡之前最后的享受睡眠。我感到死亡正在向我招手，拿着手中最后的期限，因此我写下这封信，和上帝，我的国家，以及深爱的你说明我的心意。
I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and“the name of honor that I love more than I fear death”have called upon me, and I have obeyed.
我的心一直在努力的寻找，寻找一个错误的动机，为什么我爱的幸福要冒这样的风险，可是我却找不到答案。我对国家的单纯的爱以及我的原则一直在倡导，“我爱荣誉之名胜过对死亡的恐惧”的话一直在向我招手，我屈服了。
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears meirresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.
Sarah，我对你的爱永无止境。似乎是有一种结实的锁链将我牢牢系住，只有全能的主才能摧毁它。但对祖国的热爱似一阵强风，将我和所有这些铁链一起吹向战场。
The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us.
和你一起度过的所有欢乐时光的记忆如潮水般涌上心头，我为拥有许多那样的日子而感谢上帝，感激你。要让我忘掉这些记忆、让我抛却未来的希望是多么难 — 如果上帝保佑，我们将来能够恩爱地生活在一起，看着咱们的儿子在身边长大成人。
I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me—perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar—that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed.
我知道，对于神圣的上帝，我索求甚少，但是我却听到有人向我耳语—可能是我的儿子在祈祷—我一定会再见到你们。
If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been!
如果我没有回来，我亲爱的Sarah，不要忘记我有多爱你；战场上我即使还剩最后一口气，也会低唤你的名字。原谅我的许多过错和我给你造成的许多伤害。有时候我是多么的愚昧和没头脑呀！
How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.
如果我可以我擦干我的眼泪，每一次看到你的幸福将是多么的令人欣喜，和这个世界的所有不性斗争，来保护你的我的孩子不受伤害，但是我不能。我必须要从这个精神国度看着你，在你身边逗留，当你与暴风雨斗争，用你可贵的勇气，并且用伤心的耐心等待知道我们不再相见。
But, Oh Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night—amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours—always, always;
但是，Sarah！如果故去的人能够重回这个星球，并无声无息、无影无踪地飞绕于他们所爱的人周围，我将在最晴朗的白天和最暗淡的黑夜时时刻刻守候在你的身旁。时时刻刻，直到永远。
And if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.
当轻柔的风儿拂过你的脸頬，那将是我的呼吸；当凉爽的风儿撩过你的鬓角，那将是我路过的灵魂。Sarah,不要为我的死而悲哀：只要想着我走了。等着我，因为我们还会再相逢。
As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father’s love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, andmy blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God’s blessing upon them. Oh Sarah, I wait for yout here! Come to me, and lead thither my children.
至于我的孩子们，他们将长大，就像我所经历的一样。Sarah,你将会照顾好他们，并且将他们培养成有用的人，这一点，我对你非常有信心。告诉我们的妈妈们，上帝将会一直保佑他们。Sarah,我会在这里等你，带着我的孩子们来这里再与我相聚。
04 一文一卡
Yours Mary!
You know how to find me. : )