撩猫奴:15路人间美萌喵星人

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Photo-Kazuho Maruo from ilove.cat©

原文| Kim Mercer from MSN  (originally from Espresso)

乱译| 中外物語

图片| © Shutterstock from MSN website

今日主角:喵星人(cats)

15 beautiful cat breeds from around the world

且说15路人间美萌喵星人

If you have a cat, you should give it some extra kibble tonight—thanks to your feline friend, you are less likely to suffer a heart attack or stroke. Dating back to ancient Egypt, cats have long been revered as domestic companions and, in some areas, considered divine. In honor of International Cat Day on August 8, have a look at our roundup of 15 beautiful cat breeds from around the world.

话说8月8日是国际喵星人日,作者罗列了15路人间美萌喵星人供铲屎官们互撩。假如阁下是猫奴,记得在今后的国际喵星人日这天给你家喵咪加口粮——托喵星人的福,猫奴患心脏病或中风的几率较低(养一只喵不光是忙着铲屎,好处且多着呢)。让我们把人类历史向古埃及时代推一推,喵星人在那个时候简直就是跟主人平起平坐的家庭成员,在某些地区,喵咪甚至被看做是“神职喵员”——预个言、占个卜、算个卦,挠两爪子就拿下。

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喵の 报恩画面。(网图)

提到古埃及猫神,此处额外显摆一下(结合各种“百科”乱炖):话说埃及猫神名叫贝斯特或芭斯特,原本是个女神,象征着月亮的温暖和女性魅力力量,她有动人的微笑,带给人们音乐、舞蹈和爱情。夜间她伸展着猫儿一样的娇媚身姿和月光般动人的目光,主管着人间性爱。她最初的形象是母狮子,后来化作为猫。她化为狮子形象时代表复仇和毁灭,而化为猫的形象则代表家庭、幸福和快乐。原本是迷人可爱的女神,后来竟神不隆冬地变作一直母喵,这让人突然有点稀罕上喵咪啦!

Bastet, Goddess of cats, protection, joy, dance, music, family. Bastet was a goddess in ancient Egyptian religion, worshiped as early as the 2nd Dynasty (2890 BCE). As Bast, she was the goddess of warfare in Lower Egypt, the Nile River delta region, before the unification of the cultures of ancient Egypt. Her name is also translated as Baast, Ubaste, and Baset.In Greek mythology, she is also known as Ailuros (Greek for "cat," αἴλουρος).

埃及尚未统一之前,这位女神原本在尼罗河三角洲地区活动。她的名字几经不同语言的传播,有叫Baast的,也有叫Ubaste的,还有叫Baset的。在希腊神话里,有个妇孺皆知的形象名叫Ailuros,也就是希腊语“喵”的意思。

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啊哈,介个就是埃及猫神。

作为古文明之一的埃及文明,让人大开眼界的地方不仅仅是金字塔和法老的传说;古埃及人也发明了“象形文字”,比如说人家给猫神芭斯特创造的象形文字(name in hieroglyphs)是这样的:

1
2
3

哎哟,不好意思,这个象形文字看得我直发愣。排版格式问题,准确的顺序应该是横着看1-2-3。

其实埃及人爱猫的程度,大概只是人类乐得做猫奴的一个缩影。中国人也爱猫,起初养只喵大概不是抱着喵星人看电视,而为了逮老鼠。可随着人类社会的进步,老鼠药、捕鼠器、粘鼠板啥的大行其道,害得喵星人“喵雄无用武之地”啦!喵星人可不傻,既然人类那么聪明,那么喵星人干吗还要靠卖命抓老鼠讨生活呢?!掐指一算,还是陪着主人躺在沙发上看电视舒坦一些,于是乎,喵星人不再有个喵的样子啦,从喵咪一下子上升为喵神,后来从喵神一跃成为萌宠,人类被深深折服,甘心做起了猫奴。再看看人家东洋人,那叫一个爱喵啊!东洋人再不怎么招人待见,可整的那部《猫の 报恩》真特么好看!东洋人爱猫的情结,大量文学作品中都能看到,影视作品更不必说,简直没SEI啦!

闲言碎语不多讲,喵图上来请端详。

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本喵就是大名鼎鼎的苏格兰折耳猫。萌一个?MUA!

Scottish Folds are one of the most popular cat breeds due to a striking lop-eared appearance. Their ears fold down, giving them a distinctly un-feline profile. This characteristic appears within a month of birth and is caused by a cartilage defect in the ear, though selective breeding has exacerbated the adorable little fold.

- 02 -

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本喵乃异色症“患者”土耳其安哥拉猫是也,在下绝非“病猫”。

Turkish Angoras, also known as Ankaras, date back to the 14th century. Their long, smooth coats are most commonly white, and they are prized for often having eyes of different colours—a trait known as heterochromia.

- 03 -

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哈拉哨,本喵乃俄罗斯蓝猫是也(明明是灰色好么)。

Russian Blues are elegant and known for their loyal personalities. They have green eyes and lush coats that vary from slate grey to deep silver. Beautiful Russian Blues were shown at one of the world’s first cat shows in 1875.

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本喵乃孟买猫,江湖又称灰猫(人家明明是黑色嘛)。

Bombay cats were first bred in the United States to resemble black panthers, hence their deep and shiny midnight-coloured coats and sleek profile. Bombays have striking green or amber eyes.

- 05 -

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在下就是奔跑小冠军埃及喵。

The Egyptian Mau is distinguishable by the M marking above its nose and a spotted coat, one of the few domestic breeds to have such markings. All Maus have dramatic green eyes. They are the fastest breed of domestic cat, hitting speeds of up to 30 miles per hour.

- 06 -

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salam!本喵就是传说中的波斯猫。米国不待见波斯,米国人对本喵却很痴迷。

Persian Longhairs are known for their long silky coats and flat noses. Their incredibly cute and fluffy appearance makes them one of the most popular breeds of cat in the United States.

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哦啦,本喵江湖人称缅因猫。乍看俺们像野猫,其实靠多毛的尾巴和健硕的体格俘获人心。

The Maine Coon is often referred to as “the gentle giant” because of its large size. The long tufts of hair on the tops of its ears have contributed to the myth that it is descended from larger cats. In fact, it is sometimes mistaken for a bobcat at first glance. It sports a big bushy tail and a sturdy build.

- 08 -

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啦啦啦,本喵布偶猫,卖萌的小专家。

Ragdoll cats have light-coloured bodies and darker extremities, a characteristic known as colour point. If snuggling is your thing, their soft, woolly coats are a dream. Their docile personalities mean they won’t reject your attempts to cuddle.

- 09 -

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嗨,本喵挪威森林猫。俺们那旮沓冬天贼拉冷,皮不厚活不下去呢。

It makes sense that the Norwegian Forest cat would be a strong and hardy animal, suited for outdoor activities and northern living. They are accomplished hunters and agile climbers. A long, bushy coat and tufted ears round out the cat’s impressive appearance.

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本喵江湖人称暹罗猫,没有一点人妖样儿好么。

Breed standards for the Siamese cat outline blue eyes, colour point formation, a triangular head and pointy ears. It is an elegant breed and slender in appearance, but that was not always the case. Siamese cats were once known for having crossed eyes and bent tails, traits that have been bred out for the most part.

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扎西德勒!本喵孟加拉猫是也,都说俺们长得像豹子嘞。

A Bengal’s striking appearance calls to mind the wilds of the jungle. Its brown spotted coat and purposeful movements resemble those of much larger cats, like leopards and cheetahs, though thankfully the Bengal’s personality is better suited to more domestic environments.

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哟吼,本喵乃缅甸猫,都说俺们鹰钩鼻不好惹,真特么说对啦!

The Birman has a long, silky coat with colour point formation and white socks, a distinctive aquiline nose, and equilateral ears. The breed was nearly extinct after the Second World War, with only one pair known in all of Europe. All existing Birmans are descendants of those two.

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本喵乃江湖人称波斯猫亚种的喜马拉雅猫是也,瞅着损色儿。

Himalayan cats are a sub-breed of Persians, but they have long hair with colour point formation. They have the same smushed-face and round body, but have increasingly been bred to have longer legs and more agility. Point colours range from blue to brown to cream.

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我说哥们儿,本喵就是阿比西尼亚猫呀!啥?就知道埃塞俄比亚!

Abyssinians are known to be performers—they love the attention of humans and they will do just about anything to get it. Large ears and a long, sleek tail complement their lean, graceful figures. They are named for their country of origin, Abyssinia, now known as Ethiopia.

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ladies and 乡亲们,本喵就是英国短毛猫,名字有点绕口令哈。心塞......

British Shorthair cats have been around since the first century, when they deigned to share the planet with just 200 million humans. Their chill comportment inspired the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. British Shorthairs are most commonly British Blue (a blue-grey colour) with bright amber eyes. Their stout bodies and thick coats give them a dignified, almost regal appearance.

结语:古有“好男不养猫,好女不养狗”之说,全是古时怪异素材而已,其寓意早就成为坊间无赖流氓的谈资,于今人而言,丝毫没有借鉴意义!不过有一个说法可以聊几句,男人有“狗性”,女人有“猫性”,这话倒不是说着玩儿的;是男人的自己琢磨琢磨,逼着女人减肥啥的,是不是太特么无趣,找几根骨头啃啃不就得了?女人自己也琢磨琢磨,为啥迷人的背影走出个“猫步”来就更加迷人,而背影迷人走路却迈着八字步就那么让人反胃?招猫逗狗,猫三狗四,本来都是人性所致、自然之理,把责任推给猫儿狗儿,人又比猫儿狗儿高等多少呢?呜呼哀哉。哥只能说,狗有狗样,猫有猫样,人就该有个人样。

关于喵星人,你都知道些什么?欢迎留言。转载请联系,欢迎分享。

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哔哔一扫,来个相好。

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