Day 384 face－saving——《beyond feeling》

（一）what

everyone  has a self－image，and often it is a favorable one.Unfortunately，those natural and healthy desires often prompts to resort to face－saving maneuvers.

face－saving is attempting to  preserve  our self－image or the image we protect to others when some unpleasant  reality threatens  it。  most people are quick to accept praise but slow to accept blame.

People may act to maintain their favorable self－image

（二）why：cause and effects of face－saving

one plausible theory propose by psychologist Alfred Adler，is that to some extent everyone suffers from feelings of inferiority。

the face－saving process can block growth in self－awareness by locking us into a rigid and wishful view of our personalities.

（三）how：controlling face－saving tendencies

1、 By prompting us to misinterpret our perceptions and substitute wishful thinking for reality，it leads us to rationalize.

Rationalizing is the very opposite of reasoning.whereas reasoning works from conclusion to evidence. That is，rationalizing starts with what we want to be so and then selectively compiles “evidence” to prove that it is so。 Thus  face－saving  undermines the very process by which we think critically

2、 whenever you catch yourself saving face,stop and say, “ok,that’s what I want do be so ,but what really is so? Where does the truth lie?” Where does the truth lie?”

By refusing  to cooperate with the irrationality within you and demanding that your thinking be uncompromisingly honest rather than merely self-congretulatory,you will soon have your face-saving under control.

3、there is probably nothing we can do to eliminate our face－saving tendency. It is too much a part of being human to be disposed of entirely.

Nevertheless,we can learn to control it and thereby greatly reduce its effect on our critical thinking. To control your face-saving tendency,begin by admitting that you have it.

In addition,persuade yourself that there is no shame in having it because it is a natural tendency.There is only shame in being dishonest with yourself and denying its existence