博友赠译01. 铁冰:华兄自喻诗《酒城译痴》英译(外一首)

华兄,四川酒城泸州人士也,酷爱诗词翻译,大号“酒城译痴”,可谓精彩的自我写照。进入他的博客,那蔚为大观的场面,足以令每一位同好叹为观止。华兄数学专业出身,杀入译坛三年以来,几乎每天都有新译作,至今共翻译了近千首诗歌,其后期的译作水平已超过科班出身的专业翻译家,这就是满腔“痴”情创造出来的奇迹。

华兄以前就自号“酒城译痴”,后来改为Howard2005,现在很高兴见到他又恢复了他的老字号,后者是华兄译才与自信齐头并进的明证。同为诗词翻译爱好者,我与华兄网上相识一年,交流甚多,最佩服的就是他的这个“痴”字,因为这代表着恒心与毅力,代表着钻研与浸淫,这是把任何事业做成功的必要因素,而不幸的是,这都是我最缺乏的。我虽然也捣鼓出来过不少值得沾沾自喜的译文,但我本质上是个到处留情的人,注定在这条道路上走不了太远。所以,还是拭目以待华兄终成大器之日,不也快哉!华兄以“磨剑十年”自勉,不知道一朝剑出鞘之日,将是何等的威风?

近日我的译诗水平下降得非常厉害,连押韵都感到非常吃力,可能快不行了。尽管如此,还是要勉力翻译一下华兄的自喻诗《酒城译痴》,聊当同好的喝采吧。我想,今后哪天我确认自己真的不行了,也还是要翻译诗词,专门翻译成对译才要求较低的无韵诗形式,就像现在一样。

酒城译痴

Howard2005

酒窖百里香,

城阙千年醉。

译诗费思量,

痴情终不悔。

铁冰译文:

Devoted Poem Translator in Wine Town 译文大意

Tracing the wine fragrance for one hundred miles, 沿着酒香,追逐百里之遥,

I find a town drunk for one thousand years. 我找到一座沉醉了一千年的小城,

There lives a poem translator mind-consumed, 城里住着一位绞尽脑汁的诗歌翻译家,

Too devoted to feel regret all his life. 他献身译诗,一生无悔。

( 2008-8-21译)

博友张和清先生译文:

A devoted translator in Wine City 译文大意

Bodegas send savor a hundred miles, 酒香飘百里,

City towers drunken a thousand years. 城楼醉千年。

Poetry translation all grabs my mind, 译诗据我心,

Infatuation will never bear any regrets. 痴恋永无悔。

华兄自译一:

A Translation Devotee in Wine City 译文大意

Wine cellars spread bouquet a hundred miles away, 酒窖香飘百里遥,

Gate towers have been drunk for a thousand years. 城楼千年醉已久。

Poetry translation absorbs my mind night and day, 译诗昼夜萦我脑,

I will devote my regretless love to it till death nears. 痴情无悔死方休。

华兄自译二:

A Translation Devotee in Wine City 译文大意

Wine cellars spread bouquet wide, 酒窖远香沁,

Gate towers get drunk for so long. 城楼已长醉。

Poetry translation grabs me inside, 译诗俘我心,

My devotion sings a regretless song. 痴情唱不悔。




华兄自勉诗《剑》英译


幽谷十春秋,

清泉映古松。

何当剑出鞘,

寒锋横长空。

华兄自译一:

Serene valley sees ten years roll by,

Clear spring reflects ancient pines.

When shall I let my sharp sword fly?

Across the sky its cold blade shines.

华兄自译二:

Ten years slip by in the serene valley;

A clear spring mirrors ancient pines.

When shall I wield my sword proudly,

With its cold blade across the skylines.

华兄自译三:

Ten years in the serene valley rolled by,

A clear spring mirrored the ancient pine.

When shall I wield sword across the sky

To let its sharp blade emit the cold shine?

铁冰译文一:

In valley deep ten years have passed away,

Where the clear fountain mirrors the pines old.

O, when my sword should I display

To the vast sky with its blade cold?

(2008-4-27译)

铁冰译文二:

Clear ripples play with the ancient pine's shade,

Seeing ten springs and falls in glen roll by.

When shall I pull out my sword with cold blade

As the lightning to blaze and rip the sky?

(2008-6-19译)

铁冰译文三:

Clear ripples plays with the ancient pine's shade,

Seeing ten springs and falls in glen roll by.

When shall I pull out my sword with cold blade

As the lightning to blaze and rip the sky?

铁冰译文四:

The deep dale has seen ten years pass;

The clear spring mirrors pine trees old.

When can I wield my sword, alas,

To rip the sky with its blade cold?

2010-4-1

博友“文文”译文一:

Deep in the misty valley

A decade flows the crystal spring

Behold the ancient pines with

Glistening blade of sword

In the coldness of the vault

博友“文文”译文二:

Solitary vale with ten years to weather

Under ancient pines the stream flows hither.

The cold white blade of a sword stares

Into the vast heaven where the sun glares

博友“文文”译文三:

Solitary valley sees a decade pass.

Ancient pines in crystal water impress.

Glistening blade in cold air unfolds,

When he unveals in pride his sword.

(注:末行的 unveals 是由reveals和unveils“嫁接”而成)

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