The Love Lab
How we communicate with our romantic partners can have a strong impact on the quality of our relationships. Psychologists John and Julie Gottman run the "Love Lab", where thousands of couples have been studied over the last 30 years. The purpose of their research is to determine the factors that lead to happy and unhappy relationships. From their data, they have concluded that contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling are the most significant factors that can hurt a marriage or relationship.
contempt 轻视； 轻蔑； （对规则、危险等的）藐视； 不顾
criticism n.批评，批判； 鉴定，审定，考证，校勘； 苛求
defensiveness 防御性；
stonewalling （用冗长发言或拒绝回答问题等）拖延[阻碍]议事，设置障碍( stonewall的现在分词 )； 拒绝执行命令，拒绝服从命令；
Among these, contempt is the biggest predictor of divorce. People who feel contempt for their partner
often convey disapproval without addressing the issue. They sometimes label their partner with insulting words such as "lazy' "stupid" or "emotional", which is particularly damaging.
addressing the issue 解决问题的时候
insulting adj.出言不逊的，侮辱的； 无礼的；
Many couples try to address issues by criticizing their partner's flaws or mistakes directly. Being too direct
With criticism can hurt your partner's self-esteem. Some people may react to criticism by becoming defensive and focused on winning the argument ， rather than on improving themselves. Others may
react to criticism by stonewalling, where they refuse to acknowledge and respond to their partner for a
period of time. Unfortunately, fighting back or ignoring your partner can make it difficult to determine the root of your problems. If your partner feels that they aren't valued, it may lead to increased dissatisfaction with the relationship.
flaws 缺点
fighting back 还击
The Gottmans maintain that being aware of these factors in communication is the first step to improving a relationship. It is important to acknowledge that relationships have issues. The goal shouldn't be to avoid these issues, but to learn to resolve them. In particular, we should avoid communicating in ways that hurt
our partner's self-esteem. It is better to discuss problems in a way that is less confrontational and can better help your partner sympathize with your perspective. For example, rather than saying "Why are you ignoring me? It's rude!" one could say "I feel hurt and undervalued when I don't get a response from you." By being conscious of how we communicate with our partner ， we can begin to build a healthier relationship.
confrontational 对抗的；对抗性的
sympathize 同情；赞同；支持
The lost city of Incas
Machu Picchu is one of the world's most impressive historical sites. It was built around 1450 by the Incas ，
who ruled most of South America at that time. They called themselves children of the Sun, the powerful
god they worshiped as the source of light and life.
Incas 印加文明
worship 崇拜；【宗】礼拜；礼拜仪式；
Located in the Andes Mountains of Peru, at 8,000 feet above sea level, the "City of the Incas" was
mysteriously abandoned just 100 years after its construction. This was when the Spanish were beginning their conquest of the Inca Empire, in the 1530's. There is no evidence that the Spanish invaders ever attacked or even reached the mountaintop city, so many believe that the city's inhabitants deserted the site because of a smallpox epidemic. The city was almost forgotten until 1911 when it was discovered by an American historian, Hiram Bingham, after he heard rumors of its existence. Bingham was led to the site by local farmers and was amazed by what he saw ， which seemed like an unbelievable dream. He wondered if anyone would believe what he had found.
Andes Mountains 安第斯山脉；安地斯山脉
Peru 秘鲁；【国】秘鲁；秘鲁共和国
City of the Incas 印加失落的古城
construction 施工；建筑
smallpox epidemic 天花疫情；天花流行
Though the surrounding jungle had overgrown the site, What remained was impressive. The city had been
built on a remote and nearly inaccessible mountaintop, often shrouded in clouds. Forty rows of farming terraces hugged the steep mountainside, each over 10 feet high and linked together by over 3000 stone steps. Among the city were what appeared to be neighborhoods of homes and exquisite stone buildings that are thought to be temples. Even today, the mystery remains as to the purpose of these temples, how the city was used and what its citizens did.
overgrown adj.植物蔓生的；杂草丛生的；
shrouded 隐藏；
steep 陡的；陡峭的；突然的；急剧的
exquisite adj.精美的；精致的；剧烈的；强烈的
Despite its remote location, Machu Picchu has become one of the most popular tourist destinations in the
world. Every year, thousands of people travel to Peru to admire its magnificent stonework and breathtaking design. What they see is a wonderful harmony between the city and the landscape around it that is captivating.
Machu Picchu 【旅】马丘比丘
magnificent adj.壮观的；瑰丽的；精彩的；了不起的