周二晚完成了CC2演讲英文篇。回家后好好作了下总结。不光是英文公众演讲的事儿，也顺便在自己“拖延or坚持”了10多年的外语学习经历梳理一番，作个收尾。
一、总体效果
周二下午才开始准备稿子，原以为讲自己的故事没有什么难得。结果在写稿上就已经被卡住了几次。长期在生活中没有使用英文的机会，很多单词都有点打不出来了。背诵稿子时没有超过10遍，最终演绎的时候效果没有达到自己的预期。虽然这是第一次用英文讲这么长时间的话，可总是容易和中文演讲作呈现作比较。内心是挺不能接受的。打腹稿时总觉得会讲得很好，一上台就不是那么回事了，磕磕绊绊。上台作了次即兴演讲，2分钟的内容，同样感觉要很费劲的从脑子里寻找语句，特别费劲。于是开始回忆这些年学外语上花费的沉没成本为何转化率如此之低。
二、沉没成本
和大部分热爱并“长期”学习英语的童鞋一样，我在这么多年陆续学过很多第二外语。按照投入的时间经历金钱来排名：英语、日语、法语、粤语、德语，因为兴趣学的西班牙语也就3小时的样子，可忽略不计。
时间投入：约15年*100天*1小时=1500小时+？
金钱投入：报名各类课外语言班 5K+
感情投入：学外语这件事就好比一名JP前男友一样，你为他付出了青春，请他吃饭，给他打电话，还送他礼物。就是发现，没有任何结局。既然沉没，无需回头。写完回顾统计，似乎觉得去算过去的投入已经没有价值。以前学外语的过程中，看到某些文章报道，谁谁谁因为提前学习+考试，最终获得一份外企工作，或者找了老外老公等等。天真的以为这样的事情会发生在自己身上，于是也跟着断断续续的去学外语，最终好事却没有发生。才知道这叫小概率事件。
三、转化率不足1%
证书：only 大学英语4、6级证书
工作：在诺基亚用过不到2年的英文（当年的月薪可能还不如在国内公司上班的人）
旅行：去过几个亚洲国家，偶尔用到英语
演讲：土马 6分钟
交友：0
四、意义何在？
想问自己学外语意义何在？现在和今后更重要的是把中文演讲诠释好，英文并不是重点吧。断断续续的练习，但凡一周不讲，语言这种工具就是会生疏的。更别提外语演讲要同时锻炼写作、听力、表达了。不仅每天都需要投入练习，还要有一次比一次讲的更好的觉悟。
是否要持续投入下去呢？我又没有留学、求职需求，以现在的水平去旅行完全没有问题。
这两天好好思考了下，我内心还是有了一个答案：学外语，似乎已经对我而言没有意义了。
于是乎，打算今后专心中文演讲能力的拓展，从CC3到CC10，以及今后的AC，我会以中文为主一直钻研下去。边学边用，讲好我的每一门课程。外语学习，被我断舍离了。
P.S. Draft: 101targets
Start:
Hi speech lovers. Today, my CC2 topic is 101targets
Do you have any exact targets for this year 2014? If you have, could you raise up your hands? Very good, some have, and most of you seem don't have yet,it's ok. There is a data analysis,only 3% of people in the world have and carry on with the targets.It's never too difficult to be a dreamer,right? but make dream come true is not easy.If you want to realize any big dreams, the first step is to change them to targets. If someone has no targets for the whole life, he passes a day as if it were a year.Target is like a lighthouse beside the seasore, it shows you the direction in darkness.Life is short if you don't cherish it. If your treat it carefully, you will know that everyday could be a dream come true day.
From zero to 101
Unfortunely, I know the thrue too late.For a dozen years I have no dream no targets at all. Even when I was in primary school,I remembered my other classmates, someone want to be a scientist, some want to be a doctor,or teacher.I have no dreams. After graduation, I got a jobs. I have no dreams. everyday seems boring and meaningless. I hate going to work, I hate talking to people, and hate seeing other people become more and more successful. Finally, before my 30 years old. I can't stand my suck and miserable life anymore. I got the idea,why can't I have dreams, any tagarts to achieve them? therefore, I asked myself some questions: what do i really want? what can i do now? what kind of person i want to become, how to change , what do i feel afraid? I also find some a4 paper, crazily write every small or big targets down, andfor nearly two weeks,I finally finished 101 targets list.so proud of myself,it's my first time that I can write it downwhy 100 because it's perfect. and 101 is more than perfect.Writing them down is not finished, i begin to action, and i also write them on my little hand books. at that time i go to work by bus, the waiting time seem not wasted anymore. once the bus is not coming.I took this little handbook from my pocketand readthose targets page by page, it reminded me, going to work in a company is never the last choice for me, i read it,every day,every month ,
My change:
until the end of 2012 year, I surprised to find out,I finished,thirty one targets and next year 2013,I finished fifteen targets. I can say this two years are more colorful than any other years i spend.find out the career i like, find out the Mr. right. Bought a house, made a one month trip to america, read books in one year and so on. all thisI totally throw away the old me and begin a new life style.for this year I don't need the hand book of list anymore because I knowthe targets are in my mind.the list is not that important anymore. I don't really need this. I becomemore powerful and confident than before.The 101 targets project is so successful that i shared on my weibo and a lot of people from the internet
summary:
if you want to have life really change.written down your targets and make them into a list,let's make today,the first day to achieve the goals let's do something,just start from now on, make some small ones first then repeat it. your dream will it be,bigger and bigger.
now, do you have any pasion to build goals?If you don't have any you have to be hurry upLet's make today the first day to realize your destinations. the sooner you start to action, the sooner you can achieve it. Ask yourself, how much you want it? action today wait for your transfer day.
写于2014年4月