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The Subtle（微妙的，敏感的） Way Most PeopleSelf-Sabotage（自毁）
– And How to Prevent It 如何对抗大多数人无意识的自毁选择
By Neil Strauss
There's a secret to the success I've had. And it issomething I haven't shared and haven't seen anyone else directly discuss.
Yet I've seen many, many people sabotage themselves inbig and small ways by not doing this. It's so simple, yet so hard for mostpeople to do.
The secret: Takingrecommendations and advice immediately and correctly. （作者的成功秘诀：立刻接受并正视他人的建议和忠告）
I'm so passionate about this. It has led to not justto every book I've ever written, but to all of the greatest experiences andgrowth in my life.
It is the reason why, when I start off learning a newskill, I'm usually the worst at it in the room, but tend to progress quickly toan advanced level.
It is also the reason why I've been able to have greatmentors（导师）:They see results.
My obsessionwith （着魔，痴迷于......）takingadvice ranges from small recommendations like books and restaurants to bigrecommendations around changing beliefs and behaviors.
从读书、选择餐馆到改变观念和行为作者无论大事小情，都非常乐于接受别人的建议。
Most people think they take recommendations, but thisisn't true. They take advice only when hearing things they already agree withor that make sense to them or that don't require any major changes–and that'sonly if they remember the actual suggestions.
但大部分人有个误区，以为自己能接受别人的建议，但实际上并没有。他们只是听取那些他们本来就同意或者认为有意义的观点，又或者记住那些他们根本不要做任何实质改变的提议。
Here's the problem with that way of operating: If youare seeking advice, then clearly there is something you need help with in yourlife.
And if you're only acting on what “makes sense” or “iseasy” or “sounds right” to you, then you're not actually going to get out of the hole you're in（摆脱不了那个坑）.You've been doing what “makes sense” all along on some level.
I've found this to be especially true when it comes tohuman behavior: What “makes sense” and “is logical” is not always what'sactually effective.
我发现一个关于人类行为尤其准确的一个事实：那些“有意义的”或者“有逻辑的”往往不是确实有效的。
Or, on a personal level, to paraphrase The Truth: We're too close to ourselves tosee clearly enough to get out of our own way.
又或者对个人来解释这个事实就是：我们太接近我们身处的环境以至于看不清当下的情势，也就无法跳出自己的行为方式。
It is the ideas that don't make sense, the ideas thatyou resist, the ideas that seem stupid, the ideas that you mentally write-off（账目注销；报废）,and especially the ideas that you form logical arguments against that will leadto your biggest breakthroughs.
那些你觉得没意义的建议，那些你拒绝接受的意见，那些看起来愚蠢的想法，那些意识里荒废的念头，尤其那些从道理上说不通的观点，都将会引导你实现重大的自我突破。
As the saying goes: What got you here won't getyou there. （没有屡试不爽的方法）
不搞事情的分割线
当局者迷的两种表达：
① You're going to get out of thehole you're in.
② We're too close to ourselves tosee clearly enough to get out of our own way.
木枫叁碎碎念（用英语的62天）：
这篇文章生词很少，用词都是短而精的小词，全篇流畅，理解无难度的童鞋可以熟背，作为写作素材及口语积累。其中核心观点：我们可能没有真正接受一些观点而不自知，如果能意识到这一点，我们会有非常大的进步空间。那么我们怎么发现这些我们并不自知的建议呢，不妨事实很多书中提到的“元认知”的概念，也就是“对自己思考的思考”。
遇到生活中的大事小情，都可以随时调用“元认知”的弹窗，多向自己问一句“为什么”，能够减少情绪化的冲动任性，也更容易看清问题的本质，从而减少在同一个问题上犯同样的错误，而其实大多数时候我们自己都没有意识到这一点。
举个栗子，比如人人都有的拖延症（procrastination）问题，多问自己一句“为什么我会拖延事件A迟迟不做？”
可能性1：从潜意识里不想完成这件事？
参考方法1：这个事情很容易判断，你肯定不会拖延看电视剧、打游戏这种事吧？所以写下必须完成事件A的N个理由，找到最能打动自己的一个，然后时刻提醒自己“勿忘初心”，继续完成事件A；如果找不到，那么写下完不成事件A的N个结果，如果这些结果全能接受，那么就别再纠结完成事件A了，去煲剧或者打游戏可能更适合你。
可能性2：没有重视这件事，因为没有把这件事当做像吃饭、睡觉一样的刚需去处理？
参考方法2：强化完成这件事后自己能达到的牛X程度，激励自己推进完成事件A。
可能性3：其他计划之外的事情发生延误完成这件事？
参考方法3：把计划之外的事合并同类项，除紧急需要处理的事情外，其余事项记录下来后续完成，然后优先完成事件A。
希望大家都能在生活中时时想起用这个“妙招”，有点儿像孙悟空的分身术，跳出来看另外一个自己的行为模式和思考方式，然后积极接受别人的建议予以改进。
