2017.7.18
Habit 4: Think Win/Win
Words
1. intrinsic[ɪnˈtrɪnsɪk]
No recognition is given to intrisic value; everyone is extrinsically defined.
being an extremely important and basic characteristic of a person or thing 固有的，本质的，根本的 OPP extrinsic:
例：the intrinsic interest of the subject
intrinsic nature/quality/value/property of something
例：There is nothing in the intrinsic nature of the work that makes it more suitable for women.
造句：Being integrity is instrinsic to Win/Win paradigm.
2.coast
What this kind of comperative information doesn't tell you is that perhaps Johnny is going on all eight cylinders while Caroline is coasting on four of her eight.
to be successful at something without much effort:
例：They scored three goals in the first half and from then on United were coasting.
造句：
3.cylindr[ˈsɪlɪndər]
working / firing on all 'cylinders
•(informal) using all your energy to do sth; working as well as possible
• 竭尽全力；尽力干好；开足马力
4.viable/ˈvaɪəbəl/
Most situations, in fact, are part of an interdependent reality, and then win/win is really the only viable alternative of the five.
a viable idea, plan, or method can work successfully
viable alternative/proposition/option etc
例：The committee came forward with one viable solution.
economically/commercially/financially viable
例：Will a hotel here be financially viable?
造句：We should bring out a viable medthod to tackle the problem
5.take somebody to the cleaner’s
But they saw that position as being soft and weak, and they took us to the cleaners.
a. to defeat someone completely:
例：The Lakers took the Bulls to the cleaner’s, winning 96–72.
b. to cheat someone and take all their money or possessions
6.hammer out
So that's work for a Win/Win. Let's really hammer it out.
hammer something out phrasal verb (see also hammer)
to decide on an agreement, contract etc after a lot of discussion and disagreement:
例：Leading oil producers tried to hammer out a deal.
造句： A new deal was hammered out between the two banks.
Expressions
1. Grades are carriers of social value, they open doors of opportunity or they close them.
2. Although they might verbally express happiness for others' success, inwardly they are eating their hearts out(to be jealous ).
Thoughts
1.Lose/Win
有关lose/win的概念自己特别有感触，在于他人打交道的过程中，为了尽可能避免冲突我经常采取这种方式，对他人观点进行妥协。
我还觉得这是个好习惯，因为自己大度。但实际上这完全是没有原则，而且一定程度上是在偷懒，不思考！
Lose/Win is worse than Win/Lose becasue it has no standard- no demands, no expectations, no vision.
另外一个深层次的原因，其实是怕遭到他人的否定，把自己的价值建立在他人对自己的评价之上。
They seek strength from popolarity or acceptance. They have little courage to express their own feelings and convictions and are easily intimidated by the ego strength of others.
但到头来，自己心里可能并不服气。自己不发言还觉得别人说的也不过如此。这种情绪一直积累，直到有一天可能完全爆发，变成lose/lose。我发现自己这种lose/win的情况只针对和自己不熟的人，而熟悉亲近的人我则想什么说什么，肆无忌惮。这可能也是这种不良情绪积累导致的。
But the problem is that Lose/Win people bury a lot of feelings. And unexpressed feelings never die: they're buried alive and come come forth later in unglier way.
所以，以后再遇到有不同的意见时，应该大胆的提出自己的想法，而不是还没开始就以妥协结束。如果双方都不法接受彼此的观点，我们还可以用Win/Win-No deal的法则，争取找到一个彼此都能接受的结果。
2.abundance metality
这是Win-Win 所需要具有的五个特质之一character里的一条。这一部分让我李笑来老师在得到专栏里说过的，“有些人就是见不得别人的好”，当时看完也觉得重重的敲了自己一棒。我就是会不自觉的拿别人和自己比，直到找到一个自己能胜出的点才罢休。
这其实也是不自信的表现，也是缺乏proactive attitude，将自己的价值绑定在和他人的比较上。
Their sense of worth comes from being compared, and someone else's success, to some degree, means their failure.
They're always comparing, always competing, they give their energies to possessing things or other people in order to increase their sense of worth.
如果是自己有这个问题，我们应该转移注意力，这种无谓的比较只是浪费时间。我们应该专注的自己的成长，所以真正应该比较的是以前的自己，看看还有哪里有进步的空间。
The abundace mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare or everybody.
而如果是周围有人总和你比较，也不需要理会，因为他总会在你身上找一个不如他的点，直到找到了才罢休，所以，你永远都比他“差”。明白这一点也就无需要把这种比较挂在心上了。