Chapter 4 Self-Compassion and Self-Confidence 2017.6.22
1.grip
Coming to grips with ourselves
if you come to grips with it, you consider it seriously, and start taking action to deal with it.
例：The government's first task is to come to grips with the economy.
造句：As some sharing-bikes parked in forbidden area, the government is coming to grips with the problem.
2.remorse
Self-compassion often coexits with remorse
a strong feeling of being sorry that you have done something very bad ⇨ regret:
例：She felt a pang of remorse for what she had done.
造句： It's no use being filled with remorse for what we had done in the past.
这章还提到了guilt, shame： Guilt keeps us striving to improve./ Shame has the opposite effect: it makes people fell small and worthless
THESAURUS
guilt the feeling you have when you have done something you know is wrong: Divorce often leaves people with feelings of guilt.
shame the feeling of being guilty or embarrassed that you have after doing something that is wrong, when you feel you have lost people’s respect: I was too scared to help him, and I was filled with shame.
regret a feeling of sadness about something, especially because you wish it had not happened: Kate watched her go with a pang of regret.
remorse a strong feeling of being sorry for doing something very bad: a murderer who showed no remorse
contrition formal a feeling of being guilty and sorry for something wrong that you have done: The company CEO expressed contrition for the errors that led to the crash. | He sounded full of contrition. | They wanted to perform some kind of act of contrition (=do something that shows you feel sorry for something ).
penitence formal a feeling of being sorry for something that you have done wrong, when you do not intend to do it again: He expressed genuine penitence at the harm he had done her. | a period of reflection and penitence
conscience the part of your mind that tells you whether what you are doing is morally right or wrong: My conscience has been troubling me ever since.
3.shirk [ʃɜː(r)k]
It does not mean shirking responsibilities for our past.
to deliberately avoid doing something you should do, because you are lazy:逃避责任
shirk responsibilities/duties/obligations
造句：Fan Paopao was shirking the responbility when the earthquake happened.
例：parents who shirk their responsibilities towards their children
我们都知道承担责任的表达方法，但是逃避很少用到，其他相关短语熟悉一下
have responsibility for (doing) something
take responsibility for (doing) something Who do you trust to take responsibility for our country's defence?
take on responsibility (also assume responsibility formal) (=start to have responsibility for something) These days men tend to take on more responsibility at home. | The government must assume greater responsibility for the care of the elderly.
shoulder responsibility (=agree to start having a difficult or unpleasant duty) The city, she said, would shoulder responsibility for caring for the children.
shirk responsibility (=not accept a duty you should accept) He doesn't shirk responsibility.
exercise responsibility formal (=take action because you have responsibility for something) The citizens of ancient Athens met here to exercise their responsibility to govern themselves.
abdicate responsibility formal (=refuse to have responsibility for something you used to have responsibility for) The state should not allow parents to abdicate responsibility for their children.
the responsibility lies with somebody (=they are responsible for it) Ultimate responsibility for admissions lies with the Course Co-ordinator.
4.muster
We don't muster the courage to ask for a first date.
to get enough courage, confidence, support etc to do something, especially with difficulty
SYN summon (up)
muster (up) the courage/confidence/energy etc to do something
例：Finally I mustered up the courage to ask her out.
造句：If you have stage fright, the best way to counquer it is to muster the confidence
5.view
She was also concerned about how others would view her.
to think about something or someone in a particular way 别人如何看待她，如果我写只会用think of，以后可以替换用
例：The local people viewed newcomers with suspicion.
造句：How will the public view this hot topic?
Summary
Thoughts
当悲伤的人无法完成好工作时我们通常会这样安慰她：“没关系，你状态不好，做成这样没什么。”而其实更有效的方法应该是增强她的自信心，夸她说，你做的很好！
记得看过一期四大名助，一位阿姨也是老伴去世，她终日以泪洗面，甚至有了轻生的念头，儿子用了各种方法也没能让她好起来。
后来儿子发现妈妈有写日记的习惯，里面都是描写自己的痛苦。而孟飞的建议是让这位阿姨将她和她老公美好生活全部纪录下来，写着写着她可能会慢慢好起来。
这和今天书里的方式有些类似，我们的情绪总是需要一些发泄口。而书里的方法是每天纪录你的small wins，这些积极的因素会让我们发现原来生活是如此美好。
Life can only be understand backward but it must be lived forward.