TO BE ASSERTIVE

so what does it mean  to be assertive ?

Being the assertive is the capbility to comminuicate in a confident and calm way,even intense or difficult situations,when someone else might be pushy or rude or aggressive at work,it means you're able to respond in a respectful ,calm way without any aggression,without negative emotion and without having to apologize, And finally it means being able to say no ,to speak directly and clearly about what you want or what you limits are without  sounding angry or agreessive ,without feeling badly or having to apologizie ,all of that is essential for clear ,confident  communication,In previous condident English lessons, i've talked a lot about being polite and being diplomatis,how to use modals to soften language and that is essential skill to have. Native English speakers love being diplomatic and using softer language.But the truth is sometimes we have to be more direct and clear, but we still want to be polite.so let's look at five strategies that will help you do that in English. Strategy number one for how to be more assertive in English is to us statements that start with "i",such as "i want" "i believe"  or "i need" For exzample , this sentence:i need that report by 5:00 PM, or i'm certain i'm the best choice for this position.The second strategy to avoid words that undervalue or remove importance from what you're saying.Let me show you what i mean about word to avoid. if I need to talk to colleague about something important ,i could send a email or say something like "i just want to talk to you about ..." or i could just remove the word "just" and be more assertive by saying something like:i need to talk to you ,when would be a good time.using the word "just" undervalue and undermines what you're saying. it tells people that we want  to say isn't important, so when we remove it , our language is much clearer ,it's more direct and more assertive. Here's another exzample:let's imagine a friend of mine borrowed  suitcase from me about a year ago and i really want it back because i'm going on vacation. so i could send a email or say something to bother you, but could i have my suitcase back?that's a super polite way to ask for something we want ,but it's also passive and indirect .using the word "sorry" in that way again removes the importance of what we're saying. if we want to be more effective ,more direct about what we want , we need to remove the word "soryy",and instead we could say something like: i need that suitcase back, when can i pick it up. it's  still polite ,but it's very direct and focused.,In English we have several words that we can easily to remove to make our language more assertive and sounds more confident. In the online lesson, i've give you more example of words that you can avoid and what you should say instead. strategy number three might surprise you.Avoid modal verbs such as "could" "should" "would", Now ,i'll be honest , i love modal verbs,Native speakers user them all the time,they help us soften the language ,be more diplomatic and they're certaily polite,but when  we need to be more assertive ,when we need to direct and clear about what we need or what we want ,it's better to avoid those modal verbs,instead we can use a word like "will“ or simply use words such as "i need " ,"i want" ,and here's an exzample .instead of asking someone "would it be possibe for you to get that report to me by the end of the day" ,you could say "will you get  that report to me by the end of the day " or "when will you get that report to me" , a little change can make a differnce.