Will She Be A FRIEND Or A LOVER?

Will She Be A FRIEND Or A LOVER?

--------------------------------------------------
To safely and permanently exclude yourself from
future mailings just click the link at the end
of this newsletter. To sign yourself up for this
no cost e-letter, visit www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com
--------------------------------------------------

>>>QUICK NOTE:

As you probably noticed in the past, the video samples
on my Advanced Series page kind of SUCKED...

Well, I've added a bunch of new stuff to the webpage,
and I've put together a FANTASTIC new video preview
of the program. If you've got a high-speed connection,
watch the videos in the player... if you have dial-up,
scroll down past the video players and you'll find
links where you can download the clips to your computer,
and watch them later...

Read all the cool new stuff, and check out the video
preview clips here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/e/AdvancedSeries/


***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi Dave,

Kind of an 'almost but not quite' success story but
compared to how I used to be it feels like a miracle.
Yes, in the past I was ultimate wussy boy but then
I got the ebook and began to change.  (I'm 20 and
glad I found this out now!) Always had plenty of female
friends but I was the therapist, nothing more. And
as I'm sure many guys who are reading this know, it
makes you feel like crap.  Anyway, by coincidence,
I moved to another city for work, just as I got the
ebook. This meant that I really had a fresh start. 
By another piece of fortune I got very lucky:  I met
that rare woman who has her act together FIRST TIME. 
Yeah, I know.  The first woman I meet EVER whilst
trying to be C+F, get my body language right, keep
eye contact and not be a wuss and she's the one who's 
got her act together big style.  I've always picked
things up really quickly (got to have some good points
when you only weigh 130lbs haha!) and so just tried
to stay cool for as long as I could, mainly for the
learning experience.  And Dave, thanks to reading
your book day in and day out, combined with the emails,
I have done better than I EVER thought I would.  I
still remember the awesome feeling when she first started
calling me to do stuff (rather than the millions of
other guys who were always hanging around her, kissing
her ass.)  Or how I would bust on her amongst our
group of friends and she would come right back at
me with an ever cockier and funnier comment and all
the guys would stare at me as if I was crazy to say
this stuff to her.  They then proceeded to say how
unfair life must be because she is single and to not
take my comments to heart because she is beautiful
....yuck, wussies!

So to the crunch.  One night when this girl and I
were out pubbing and clubbing and battling each other
with our wits and building lots of tension (so much
fun)  she opened up a bit and told me that she had
never met anyone like me and that I was cool.  All
the cues that you said would happen if you do the
right things.  Inside I was like "WOW!" but I didn't
show it and just told her that her compliments and
looking at me like a piece of meat wasn't going to
get her anywhere - she's a great friend!  By the end
of the night she was asking me the odds of us having
sex within the next few weeks.  Now here's where I've
got to hold my hands up and risk your written wrath. 
In that moment, this was the ONLY time I have ever
been a wuss with her.  I'm a virgin and even though
I fancy her like mad, I know at present I couldn't
satisfy a woman like that (limiting belief I know,
but true!)  I haven't got the skill yet and then I
realised that I had failed to plan ahead.  Damn. 
And I could hardly turn around and say "Hey, I'm a
virgin wuss who has never had sex! Teach me?" 
Instead, as my answer I just smirked a little in a
poor attempt to look composed but I wasted a big
opportunity to amplify what was there; instead I
just dissipated all the tension by being a prick. 
She appeared to let me off though and the next few
weeks were a C+F fun-fest again.  I still played it
cool, no chasing, no clinging, no insecurity.  Then
our mutual friends started telling me to ask her for
more.  Even her best female friend said that we
should be together because we get on so well.  I
remembered an email you sent saying that if you meet
someone you REALLY like then sometime you're going
to have to take the chance and tell them.  So when
we were alone at another party a couple of weeks later,
I told her that we should get together.  Here's the
messed up part: she said that I was the best guy
she'd ever met and that she didn't want to enter
a relationship with me because every guy she has
ever gone out with she's ended up hurting. She said
that she never wanted to hurt me and wanted to know
me forever.  And that if we stayed best friends
forever, without complications, we would have something
great for life and not a quick fling followed by
never talking again.  She also said that she loved
the way that I stand up to her and don't kiss her
ass like most other guys.  So, a lot of tears later
(from her), hugs, kisses and plenty of apologies
and I was left to wonder if my one error of sexual
wussiness had cost me in the worst possible way.  I
believe this to be true because I know that if a woman
feels attraction for a man, then nothing else matters.
Her friendship logic wouldn't matter if she "felt it"
for me would it?  I'm so pissed off at myself for
messing up (always been a perfectionist, have to get
everything right first time!)  However, she has
surprised me in that she hasn't run for the hills -
she must've meant what she said.  Reason being because
not only are we still hanging out, but she sent me
a Valentines card (I sent her nothing) and just last
week invited me over to her place alone where she
cooked for me.  I'm still playing it by your teachings
Dave but I'm at a complete loss.  I like her a hell
of a lot and am really fighting the wuss urge.  I
still bust on her, we still flirt, I don't call her a
s much as she calls me and I haven't shared any
feelings with her since that night.  I'm trying to
stay cool man!  Don't bitch slap or berate me too
hard, I've already done it many times myself (and
will continue to do so, until I GET IT!  I am not
going to give this up!)  So after this damned long
essay that says I've gone on for too long (I've kept
it to 2 paragraphs though - albeit by cheating the
rules of grammar...) I have two questions:
1)  Is there any hope of turning this around?  I know
I should move on but how long will it take me to find
another really exceptional woman that I get on so
well with? It seems like I'm so close but just haven't
quite got the skill to haul myself over the finish
line and it's very frustrating!  2)  Where can I get
a good education on how to make love to a woman? 
This is my final concern with women, I believe. And
when the time comes, should I admit my lack of inexperience? 
(No amount of theory can make up for lack of practice!)

Cheers Dave, without your teachings I would never,
ever have gotten this far.

M, United Kingdom.

P.s.  She did your pocket a favour by turning me down
- it prompted me to buy the CD series.  In the long
run, I guess she did me a favour too: it's awesome
so far.  ***End of blatant plug***


>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Well, first of all I want to CONGRATULATE you on
a great job with this girl.

   You did all the right things, and you've obviously
paid attention to what you've learned. I have a lot
of respect for you for both DOING SOMETHING to improve
yourself, and for getting out there and using the
materials.

   You should be congratulating yourself, not beating
yourself up.

   I'M the one who gives the verbal beatings here,
not you, remember?

   I think the real problem you're running into here
is that you've put too much importance on this one
situation, and by doing that you've created "tunnel
vision" for yourself. I'm sure you've heard me talk
about this a lot.

   From now on, don't get so hung up on a particular
woman that you're not even "technically" involved
with. It's asking for emotional trouble... and it's
a pain.

   So let's talk about this particular situation...

   I'd like to share with you a thought to set this
up. It's a thought that might not go over so well
with a lot of people (especially women). But I believe
it to be true, so I'm going to put it out there.

   Remember, this is a generalization, and not a cold,
hard fact... it's true MOST of the time. You have
to use your own judgment in each situation.'

   Now that the disclaimer is over, here's the deal:

   If you meet a woman (especially a sharp, attractive
woman who's intelligent), and you start doing all
of those wonderful things that spark and amplify the
ATTRACTION present in the situation, you must KEEP
MOVING FORWARD, or you'll lose everything you've built.

   What I'm trying to say is that if you don't take
things to a physical level quickly after creating
all of this sexual tension, it will eventually go
away, and you'll be left with just "friend" material.

   I know that you've never been with a woman sexually,
so I can understand why you hesitated. But you must
still remember what I said.

   The rule of thumb is: If you're going to spark
and amplify attraction with a woman, you need to continue
on to the next level SOON... or you're going to probably
lose it.

   When you just tease a woman, bust on her, get her
all wired up and excited about you... then DON'T MOVE
FORWARD PHYSICALLY, it's a let down.

   Basically, the woman you're with has a first impression
of you that says "This guy is sexy and attractive",
but when you don't continue forward on a physical
level, she starts to think "Uh Oh, he's either not
interested in me 'in that way', he's gay, or he's
seeing someone else" etc.

   If you want to be "friends" with a woman, it's
easy. Don't do anything.

   If you don't make any "moves", don't try to kiss
her, and don't confidently lead in a physical way,
a woman will only think of you as a "friend".

   Even if there is attraction based on personality,
it's going to disappear if you don't cross over into
the physical realm.

   98% of the time, she's NOT going to be the one
to make the first moves... it's just not going to
happen. YOU have to do it.

   The real keys are:

1) Knowing WHAT to do to proceed in each situation

2) Knowing WHEN to proceed in each situation

3) Knowing HOW to proceed in each situation... in
a way that is smooth and natural... and that doesn't
get you "rejected"

   You have the benefit of having my eBook and my
Advanced Dating Techniques Program. I recommend that
you check out the bonus booklet that came with Double
Your Dating called "Sex Secrets", and use that
material IMMEDIATELY.

   Also, you'll learn a lot of great ideas in the
last few discs of my Advanced Series.

   But let me cover a few basics here.

   First of all, it's OK that you're a virgin.

   It's no big deal. You're making it into something
bigger than it is by freaking out about it.

   I'll break the news to you:

   SHE ONLY CARES HOW SHE FEELS, NOT WHAT YOUR
PAST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE IS.

   If you can make her FEEL good, game over.

   You're obviously a guy who can pay attention and
learn things. Spend a day at the bookstore, and go
to the "sexuality" section. Read for awhile. You'll
learn everything you need to know to get past your
"first time" just fine.

   And by the way, if you run into a problem... like
"performance anxiety" or nervousness, or just being
uncomfortable being naked around a woman... that's
OK too. If you ever reach a point that starts to freak
you out too much, just lean back and stop for a little
while. One of the GREAT things about the process of
getting a woman turned on is that it's much more powerful
for her if you DO stop and start... move two steps
forward, and one step back.

   You don't need to say "Hey, I realize that we're
both naked in bed here and we should be making love,
but I'm a virgin... and on top of that I can't get
it up". No no nooooo....

   Just kick back. If you have to, just call it a
night.

   The KEY is that you have to at least PROGRESS physically
with her. Explained differently, you don't necessarily
have to go "all the way", but you do have to get pretty
far down the field... and keep going a little farther
each time... if you want to keep the attraction building.

   I have another secret to share with you...

   Most guys suck in bed. And I don't mean that in
a good way. And no, I'm not talking from experience.

   I have known, interviewed, and gotten emails from
a lot of women. I know the deal. Most women are not
very happy about what happens in the bedroom.

   If you do just the things I've laid out for you
in the ebook and Advanced Series, and then you totally
blow it and are the worst lover the world has ever
known, she'll still have a GREAT experience with you...
because MOST of it will have been fantastic for her.

   Using the physical techniques, ways of touching,
ways of getting her physically turned on and amplifying
her arousal that you've learned in the materials will
get a woman so turned on that just about ANY kind
of sexual interaction will be fine with her.

   lol... and by the way, the next time a woman looks
at you and asks "What do you think the odds of us
having sex within the next few weeks are?", you need
to look her right in the eye and say:

"Sex? Hell, I don't even know if you know how to kiss."

   ...then lean over and kiss her.

   When you're finished, pull away (you stop the kiss
before she does), look back at her, and say:

"Hm, I'll have to get back to you about the sex part."

   ...and if you're reading this right now, and you
want to know how in the hell a 130 pound ex-wussy
therapist boy can change his ways and have a woman
asking him if he thinks they're going to have sex
soon, then I'd recommend doing what HE did...

   Get yourself a copy of my eBook "Double Your Dating",
and get yourself a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques
CD or DVD program. It's taken me years to figure this
stuff out, and you can try all of it at NO RISK. You've
got nothing to lose... except your inability to
meet women...

The eBook is here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/e/eBook/

The Advanced Dating Techniques Program is here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/e/AdvancedSeries/

   I'll talk to you again soon.

      Your Friend,

      David D.