'Quickly! Quickly! Start your dancing homework, please. It's already 8 o'clock , but nothing did since you came back from school...'
'Quickly! Quickly! Quickly! There is piano practice waiting for you. or you can't go to sleep until you complete all tasks..."
After dinner last night, I kept pushing while my girl was unhurried lying on the sofa, with a barbie doll in her hand.
'Don't say 'quickly, quickly, quickly', please. You know, it even makes me uptight...' Her dad, was siting beside the girl, cried.
Suddenly, I was shocked, stood here without words. Another sound arised in the inner heart --- 'What the hell are you doing? Can 'Quickly' lead her to take action? Is it an effective communication way?'
NO, of course not. My girl's feedback prooved clearly, she was still lying on the sofa, talking with her barbie. It did not work at all.
'Quickly, wash your face and brush your teeth, and then go to school after have breakfast. otherwise, you'll be late...'
'Quickly, clear up your desk...'
Maybe, it occured in the scenes with other people as well.
Quickly, quickly, quickly... oh my God, It imperceptibly becomes my mantra without realization. When did it start? How long has it last? My loard, I need changes.
1. Stop saying 'quickly'. Is it my homework, my face and teeth, my desk? No! absolutely not. Why am I so nervous? they are my daughter's. Doubtless, she has to take the responsibilities. She has the rights to arrange her own tasks and do them in her own rhythm. Not only is it the right way to her personal growth, but also it's the basic of respect.
2. A change to turn around the bad communication way. As a mother, I have the obligation to company her, to back up her. and I have the will to become a better mother. so all i can do is to remind her kindly:
* give her a warm and firm hug, tenderly tell her what time it is.
* She has to take the consequence if she didn't practise.
* If the task is difficult for her, try my best to understand her questions, help her to dig out the root cause and find out the corrective action one by one.
* If she fails to complete the task at one time, allow her to take a rest. such as piano.
* Most important, encourage her instead of simply push.
Stop saying "quickly", be a better mother, tender and resolute.