Are you ready?

2018.10.30, @Nanjing No.1 ToastMaster Club, Pathways - Visionary Communication - Ice Breaker, speech text as following(maybe not 100% corresponding to my live speech).

Good evening, everyone.

My name is Liz Li. I am a senior member of this club with a membership more than 3 years. When I turned in this term of membership fee by end of Sep., I set a flag that I would give at least one prepared speech every month. So here I came today and I finally officially start my Pathway.

Compared with many of you who already started and some who even finished your Pathway Level 1, it’s a late start. Even so, I don’t feel that I am ready. Honestly, of the tens of speechesI ever made in ToastMasters, I never felt fully ready. It could be better. Italways could be better. Why?

I used to blame for my procrastination. As you may notice, tonight’s meeting is the last meeting of this month. So I am this close to break my flag from the first month of this membership term. And it also means if I failed for this speech, I don’t have another chance to pass it this month. Yes, that’s true. But really? I am not bragging, though I got to say I never imagine I could fail on an ice breaker speech. So I am not worried about passing, I just can’t feel the readiness before giving speeches.

It was not until recently that I realized I just can’t get ready for some stuff. Two weeks ago, I went to an amusement park with a friend. She enjoyed all the exciting programs, like roller coaster with fast speed, like the big hammer that turn you over with rotation, like the drop tower which makes you falls directly at certain height. And the last time I took those games was years ago. I could remember the exciting feeling of playing these the last time and I kind of miss the feeling. So we decided to go. But when I stood in front of the big rotating hammer, my knees were soft. Because there were a lot of people that day, we had to stand in the waiting queue to get into the game. We waited for about 45 minutes and that was the longest 45 minutes of that day. I wanted to quit for hundreds of times, but my friend really wanted to try it. She wouldn’t continue if I just waited outside with nothing to do. And we had a deal to play it together. I knew we would play these. We planned the trip for about ten days and I did want to do it. So I spent all the time in the queue to make psychological self-construction for myself. But my knees were still soft before I sat on my seat. They were soft when the game was over. 

All of the sudden, it crashed to me that this felt just like giving speeches. Before the speech, I was always nervous. Normally I was nervous the whole time I stood on the stage, even though I wanted to deliver the speech just like I wanted to play the exciting games. And when I left the game site, I was happy and relaxed, feeling like ‘yes, I did it’ or ‘wow it’s cool’. Just like every time when I finished a speech. So today I am standing here, not for making excuses of procrastination or lack of preparation. I only want to point out a possibility that you would never feel readiness for some certain stuff. But when the bell rings, just don't get away, don't chicken out, let it come. Time will give you an answer. Thank you.