Today, I met a new male friend, we chatted for almost a whole day, both had the similar interests and hobbits. Though the first image of him wasnot as expectation, but as a friend, still not too bad.
Since my ex-boyfriend left, I was deep in a sorrow,cried and depressed a lot, my emotion was terrible in the past 3 months. I couldn't forget about him, tried to contact him, saying some horrible words, nearly begging his video call, but he chose to be silent. That hurt me terribly.
I didn't ask much, only one single video call, but he refused to see me again.
I loved him so much, he also loved me deeply too, his leave was all for me,for my happy future. I understood him, also would let him go, the only thing I asked was just one single video call. But he had his reason, he told me before my asking. I should be aware that, but my sorrow and emotions was too much, and I was not able to get out from it, very vulnerable and weak, couldn't see things clearly.
I should stop contacting him the moment I received the first letter, acturally I tried, but failed, my grief kept for a long time, too long and too fierce.
We deleted each other's connections, it was quite fair, he deleted my QQ, I deleted his WeChat. No more update from each other again.
I wasn't going to delete his WeChat, just when he blocked his moment for me, I was so angry, throw some anry words to him and deleted his WeChat immediately, once for all. And, after a couple of hours, I regreted, but what done was done. I shouldn't add his WeChat again.
If he is mine, he will always be mine, if not, then, it is right to let him go. I deleted some other friends' WeChat before, but they would come back to me, and become my forever friends. It is different I know, but hopefully, he is also worthy.
Being honest, I felt much better after letting him go. I do love him, and will always do, just for both of us, maybe it is wise to choose a more mature way to love each other. I shall grow up too.
Thanks to all the friends around me, they have been helpping a lot for getting me out of the grief.
Once stopped thinking of him and paying some attention on other men around me, I felt warm and be paid attention on. Though I may not find anyone who could be as good as he was, and who would love me so much as he did, there are still possibilities.
Still, I can not find my passion on any other men, but when I calm down totally, and not to think of him that often, I will have the passion back again. I have to believe that, believe I can live in a better life, and will become happy again.
Where I pay my attention on, where I will find my happiness. Since he decided to leave me to the other men, I should leave as he wished.
He made me become a better woman, for sure, other men will do too. Thanks to my beloved ex-boyfriend. No regret for the love at all, the person who gave me the best love experience in my life. Hope to find someone could company and treat me as good as he did.