- Finding your way in a new school is always tough,
想在一所新学校吃得开可不容易 - especially when you don't have a crew[1] of your own.
特别是当你孤军奋战的时候 - Dude, how great is sailing?
哥们，航海感觉要多爽有多爽 - Yo, I saw puffy[2] wearing boat shoes the other day[3].
我有天看见吹牛老爹穿着甲板鞋 - He looked tight.
显得挺牛逼的 - Boat shoes are functional footwear with a purpose.
甲板鞋是有特殊用途的功能性鞋 - Obviously, you've never
很显然，你从来没有 - tried to raise the jib on wet teak.
尝试过在潮湿的甲板上扬帆 - Culturally, we didn't have anything in common,
文化上，我们丝毫没有共同点 - which is why it meant so much
而这就是为什么找到一个同类 - when I finally found someone I could identify with.
对我来说是如此的重要 - Did I tell you my dad knows L.L. Bean?
我告诉过你我爸居然知道天猫是哪家的么 - Leroy Leroy Bean.
掏包网的哟 - I love L.L. Bean.
我喜欢天猫 - But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's roll this story back.
这个故事可能讲得太快了，让我们从头开始 - Mom, wake up!
妈妈，起床啦！ - Aah! Who died? Who died?
啊！谁死了？谁死了？ - What? No. Okay...
啥？不是啦，好的 - I made you breakfast in bed.
为您送上床上用餐服务 - What do you want?
你想干啥？ - Okay, just hear me out.
好吧，好好听我说嘛 - There's a Beastie Boys concert this weekend, and I w...
这周末有野兽男孩的演唱会，我... - No.
不行 - I am not letting you go to a rap concert.
我不会让你去听饶舌演唱会的 - What's wrong with a rap concert?
听个饶舌演唱会咋个了嘛 - It's the music of the time. See?
饶舌是当下的流行音乐，你看看人家 - Dad gets it!
老爸懂我 - Okay, Louis, I know you like to be good cop,
好吧，路易斯，我知道你想唱红脸 - but somebody has to wield the hammer in this family.
但是大棒加萝卜也总要有人挥大棒吧 - No, they don't. We could both be good cops.
不，不是非要那样，咱俩可以一起唱红脸 - Like that movie "Good Cops."
就好像那个电影“好好警察” - There's no such movie.
才没有叫这名字的电影 - Yes, mom, they're rappers,
好吧，妈妈，他们是饶舌歌手 - but they're white rappers.
可是他们是白饶舌歌手 - White!
白白的哟 - Eddie, we have been through this before,
艾迪，我们之前已经谈过这个问题了 - and the answer is always the same.
而对这个问题的回答总是一样 - But they're sort of Asian. No!
他们是亚洲风有木有，不行！ - But he's a doctor. No!
医生有木有社会精英，不行！ - You're always talking about the year of the dog.
你老是说什么狗年什么的 - That's a stretch.
那只是个抽象的概念 - No!
不行啦 - Eddie, I just don't understand you...
艾迪，我真是搞不懂你 - The music you listen to,
你听的这些音乐啊 - the way you talk, your clothes.
你的走路方式啊，你的穿衣风格啊 - Why can't you support something that I like for once?
为什么你就不能支持一次我喜欢的东西 - Well, why can't you be a good Chinese boy
哎哟，为什么你就不能当个乖乖的中国男孩 - like Evan and Emery?
就像埃文或者埃默里那样 - They both study hard, play violin,
用功学习啊，拉拉小提琴啊 - wear button-up shirts properly,
把衬衫扣子扣扣好啊 - not like you, buttoning the top button
你看你这什么样子，只扣最上面一个 - and letting the rest flap out like a cape.
衣服下面飘啊飘啊跟个帐篷似得 - That's called being a "g," mom!
这是“g”（帮派分子风格）啊，老妈！ - Why do you want to be a letter
为啥你要像个字母 - that's only worth two points in scrabble?!
在填字游戏里“g”只有一两分
"Q" is better!
当“Q”都得分高些！ - I'm sure you all know why I gather you here.
你们肯定知道为啥我喊你们过来开个小会 - Mitch has decided
米奇已经决定了 - to take a lateral position at the Golden Saddle.
他要去金鞍餐厅当领班 - As far as I'm concerned, he no longer exists.
对我来说，他这个人已经不存在了 - Has anyone seen my astronaut pen?
谁看见我的宇航员钢笔了么 - Nancy?
南希？ - I never should have slept with you.
我就不该跟你上床 - Okay, well, if anyone sees my pen in Nancy's purse,
好吧，唉，如果谁在南希的包包里发现了我的钢笔 - let me know.
要告诉我哦 - I...
我... - I'm sorry. I... should I...
很抱歉，我...我是不是要... - D-don't worry about it, Mitch.
没，没事的，米奇 - Despite your betrayal,
先不论你的背叛 - you were here when I opened this place,
你是我们餐厅的开国元老 - and I'll never forget that.
这一点我永远不会忘记 - Thanks.
谢谢 - It's time to forget about Mitch.
是时候把米奇忘了 - I'm going to start setting up interviews for a new host.
我将面试一个新领班 - Oh! I-I-I'd be interested in the job.
噢！我，我，我对这个职位感兴趣 - Come on.
别开玩笑了 - Well, Eddie, I'm sure you're wondering why you're in here today.
艾迪呀，我想你肯定很好奇为啥我把你叫来了四不四呀 - If this is about the Clay sculpture I made...
是不是我那个粘土雕塑... - No, Mrs. Uveda has an active imagination.
不，犹维达老师脑洞不小会懂你的 - That's why she's the art teacher.
所以她才能当艺术课的老师 - I've chosen you
我，选择了你 - to be a "first day friend" for a new student...
给一位新生当“第一天的好盆宇” - Show them around the school, teach them the ropes.
带他看看校园啊，教教规矩啊 - But I've only been here for a few months.
我自己才来这没几个月 - More than enough time.
足够长了 - Plus, I think you and the new student, Phillip,
而且，我想你和这个新生菲利普 - might have some things in common.
会有一些共同点 - Like what?
比如？ - Let's just say
我们这么说吧 - I feel like you have mutual interests and experiences.
我觉得你们有着共同的兴趣和经历 - He's Chinese, isn't he?
他是中国人，对吧 - What?
啥？ - No.
不 - Is he?
他是吗 - Well...
额... - Phillip is here to meet Eddie Huang.
菲利普就是要来见艾迪，黄的那个 - Huang.
姓黄啊 - Um, Principal Hunter, if you could be more specific,
呃，亨特校长，如果您能说的详细一点 - I can get you what you need.
我就能知道怎么做了 - Here's an idea...
不然这样吧... - Just say the name Phillip,
你喊一声，菲利普 - and whoever stands up, send him in.
让站起来的那个进来 - Because that's probably Phillip.
因为他应该就是菲利普 - I couldn't have been happier.
我太高兴了 - This was the first Chinese kid I'd met since moving from D.C.
这是我从华盛顿搬过来后看到的第一次中国孩子 - Finally, I had a crew.
终于，我有伴儿了 - Yo, what's up, Phillip?
哟，你好啊，菲利普 - I'm Eddie.
我是艾迪 - It's a pleasure to meet you, Eddie.
很高兴见到你，艾迪 - Come on. I'll show you around.
来吧，我带你四处逛逛 - Was that Phillip?
是你要的菲利普吗？ - And I have no idea what happens in this room, either.
我也不知道这个房间是干嘛的 - The sign on the door says "Library."
门上写着“图书馆”呢 - Hmm.
这 - Looks like someone's got a twin.
看起来某人找到失散多年的双胞胎了 - Looks like somebody's outnumbered.
看起来某人这辈子找不到朋友了 - Anyways, I've been running my mouth for this whole time.
不管怎样，这趟下来我嘴都说干了 - Where's your family from?
你是哪里人？ - Hunan?
湖南？ - Jerusalem.
耶路撒冷 - I was adopted by Jewish parents.
一对犹太人夫妇收养了我 - My last name is Goldstein.
我的姓是戈德斯坦 - Oh, that's cool.
哦，酷 - We both eat Chinese food on Christmas,
我们都会在圣诞节吃中国食物 - and our parents are super pushy.
而且我们爸妈超级固执的 - Okay...
好吧... - What kind of stuff are you into?
你喜欢什么类型的东西？ - You like the Beastie Boys?
野兽男孩喜欢吗？ - I prefer musicals.
我更喜欢歌舞片 - Shaq?
沙克（NBA球星）呢？ - Tolstoy.
我喜欢托尔斯泰 - Bling?
金灿灿的项链？ - Investments.
投资
"Hangin' with Mr. Cooper"?
《与库珀博士一起玩》（美剧） - Can't watch TV on Fridays because of Shabbat...
周五是安息日，不许看电视 - Hangin' with God.
与神一起玩呢 - Stinky tofu?
臭豆腐？ - Gefilte fish.
鱼饼冻（犹太人的食物） - Stinky tofu sounds repulsive.
臭豆腐光听起来就想吐 - We don't like each other, do we?
我两不怎么能一起愉快地玩耍啊，对吧？ - I find your company undesirable.
我待都不想跟你待一块儿 - Look who's best friends!
看看这两个好朋友 - This is gonna get my ex-wife back for sure.
我前妻看到了肯定会重新回到我的怀抱的 - After spending a day showing Phillip around,
带菲利普参观了一天后 - I figured my time was done and that would be that,
我以为我的任务完成了，终于可以大路朝天各走一边了 - but I was wrong.
但，我错了 - Phillip, go over there and work with Eddie.
菲利普，去那边和艾迪一组 - I feel like you two will have great chemistry together.
我想你俩在一起做化学实验很合适 - The pun gun is set to laughs.
一语双关就是有笑点啊 - Okay, pair up with the person next to you for stretches.
好，现在和你旁边的人组队练习伸展 - Eddie, you pair up with Phillip.
艾迪，你和菲利普一组 - But he's not even next to me!
但他离我可远得很啊！ - Lucky for you, I have a soft spot for best friends.
偷着乐吧，我总是不忍分开好朋友们 - Okay, let's open up those hammies!
好了，现在拉伸一下四肢 - I even told Principal Hunter
我甚至特地去跟亨特校长 - about the whole thing feeling kind of racist.
埋怨了这种强烈的被种族歧视的感觉 - In response to complaints of racism,
作为对种族歧视的回应 - I now commence the first meeting of the...
我现在正式宣布，环太平洋俱乐部 - Pacific Rim Club.
第一次大会正式开始 - You now have a safe haven
你们现在可以尽情地 - to celebrate your unique culture.
庆祝你们独特的文化了 - I'm leaving you a box of watercolors and parchment
我给你们带了一盒水彩和一些纸 - if you choose to express yourself
这样你们就能表达你们的想法了 - through monumental landscape painting.
比如画一大幅山水画 - Meat is murder!
吃肉是变相谋杀 - Again, I don't know why you interviewed for this position,
再次声明，虽然我不知道你为什么要来面试这个岗位 - but thank you. We'll keep your resume on file!
但还是谢谢你，我们会把你的简历存档的 - Beg your pardon, sir. Name's Wyatt.
打扰一下，先生，我是怀亚特 - I noticed your "Help wanted" Sign.
我看到了你的“招聘启事” - Position still open?
还招人吗 - Depends. You got any experience?
看情况，你有工作经验吗 - Ah...
呃... - Well, startin' in '89,
那个，89年开始工作 - I spent two years on a cattle ranch in big sky country,
我在乡下的牛仔一家餐厅工作了两年 - gettin' to know every part of these delicious creatures.
对牛这种美味生物的各个部分都了如指掌 - After that, I did a four-year stint maitre d-in' at spay-go.
然后，我又在乡下小馆当了四年领班 - Ah, who am I kiddin'?
呃，我就不自欺欺人了 - I'm sorry for wastin' your time, mister.
抱歉浪费你时间了，先生 - Uh, wait!
啊，请留步 - You got the job.
你被录用了 - Well, golly.
哇哦，天哪 - All right.
好吧 - I...
我... - don't have a hat.
没有牛仔帽 - That's my ride. Later, nerd.
接我的来了，拜了，书呆子 - Who is this?
他是谁 - Oh, he's nobody. Let's...
哦，不用管他，我们... - Another Chinese boy in school!
学校里还有一个中国孩子 - Hey, come on! Let's give you a ride home.
嘿，上车吧！我送你回家 - It's quite all right. I'm just waiting for the late bus.
没事，不用了，我只是在等晚班车 - Nonsense! Eddie, get in the back.
别客气了！艾迪，后面去 - I appreciate the ride, Mrs. Huang.
谢谢您，黄太太 - Gives me more time
我可以在音乐课前 - to finish my homework before music lessons.
有更多时间写作业了 - Oh, what instrument do you play?
噢，你会什么乐器 - Cello.
大提琴 - Orchestral? Solo.
管弦队的？独奏 - Practice? Daily.
练习呢？每天都练 - How much?
练多少 - Five times perfect in a row.
拉五次都完美才算过 - If I make a mistake on the fifth time, I start over.
即使是第五次出错了，我也会从头开始 - Yes!
真和我胃口！ - Arranged the tables, sir.
餐具都摆齐了，先生 - Ah. Noticed a couple wobblers over there,
啊，我注意到有些桌腿晃了 - so I balanced 'em out with some scrap wood.
所以我用废木头固定住了 - And also, I hope you don't mind,
并且，我希望你不要介意 - I edited the sticker in the window
我改了窗户上粘的标语 - to make it say "No boots, no shirt, no service."
现在它是“没有靴子和衬衫的服务不算服务” - Oh, uh, I was looking at the menus,
喔，呃，我刚在看菜单 - and I noticed you moved the "Daily specials" Insert?
我看到你改了“每日特餐”的位置 - Yes, sir. Made it better.
是的，先生，把菜单变得更好 - I reckon having the specials on the left
我想把特色菜放在左边 - makes it the first thing a customer sees.
这样顾客可以一眼就看到 - Oh. Little trick I learned at the Cuatro Seasons in Cabo.
哦，这是我在卡布岛上四人吉他合唱团里学的小技俩 - This was a mess before.
之前这菜单有点乱 - It's... it's great.
很...很好 - Oh, welcome to Cattleman's Ranch.
噢，欢迎光临牧场主的牧场餐厅 - What a beautiful family.
多幸福的一家啊 - Oh. Thank you! This way.
喔，谢谢！这边请 - And allow me.
让我来... - Ooh!
哦 - Ma'am. Wow.
夫人，哇 - And these specials look so good!
这些特色菜看起来太棒了 - Hmm.
嗯嗯 - Eddie, will you sign this petition?
艾迪，你会签这份请愿书吗 - Mr. Hedgehog is running for mayor.
刺猬先生正在竞选市长 - Evan and I are learning about the government
我和埃文这周在学校 - in school this week.
学习政府知识 - Your Hedgehog is stupid.
你的刺猬蠢逼了 - You made a powerful enemy today.
你今天遇上劲敌了 - Eddie!
艾迪 - I thought I heard you come home.
未见其人先闻其声啊 - How was Phillip's day today?
菲利普今天怎么样 - Did you give him the snack I packed for him in your lunch?
我帮他打包的零食放在你午餐里，你有给他吗 - I did. He hated it.
给了，他很不喜欢 - Too much ginger... I knew it.
姜放多了...我知道 - Do we have to talk about this right now?
我们非要现在谈论这个吗 - Oh, but there's so much to talk about.
哦，还有很多要告诉你 - Mrs. Goldstein called
戈德斯坦太太打电话来 - to thank me for giving Phillip a ride home yesterday.
感谢我昨天送菲利普回家 - A Chinese boy with Jewish parents...
有着犹太父母的中国男孩... - The world is an amazing place.
不看不知道，世界真奇妙 - Yeah, mom, everything about Phillip is amazing.
是的，妈妈，关于菲利普的每件事都太神奇了 - I get it.
我知道 - Eddie, I am sorry that I keep talking about him.
艾迪，很抱歉我一直聊他 - I'm just excited
我只是很激动 - for you to have a good Chinese boy to hang out with.
你有可以一起玩耍的中国小伙伴 - Now you two can look out for each other.
现在你们可以相互照应 - That's true. Mm-hmm.
嗯，那倒是 - It's just a shame
只是很遗憾 - you won't let me go to the Beastie Boys concert.
你不让我去看野兽男孩演唱会（the Beastie Boys美国乐队） - Phillip is a big fan and needs someone to go with.
菲利普是疯狂粉丝，他想要有人陪 - Phillip is going?
菲利普会去 - Oh!
哦 - Well, that changes everything.
好，我改变主意了 - You can go. Thanks, mom!
你可以去，谢谢妈妈 - We can talk about it with him tonight.
我们今晚可以跟菲利普聊聊演唱会 - Say what, now?
你在说什么呢 - The Goldsteins invited us over for dinner.
戈德斯坦全家邀请我们去吃晚饭 - Hospitality isn't dead.
古道热肠，人心复古啊 - What a family.
瞧这一家子 - What a great family.
多棒的一家人啊 - I call this one here the wedding ring.
我把这个叫做婚礼戒指 - Oh, yeah!
哦，酷 - Always with the lasso.
总是拿着套索 - Hey, hey, Louis.
嘿，嘿，路易斯 - Mitch, what are you doing here?
米奇，你在这做什么 - Well, I was just out for an afternoon pedal,
哦，我正在练习我的动感单车 - figured I'd pop in.
想到来看看你 - Well, you look good.
你看起来很不错 - Thanks. You know, they're paying me more at the Golden Saddle.
谢谢，你知道，金鞍餐厅的薪水更高 - Mm. So, picked up a ten-speed
恩，所以买了个十级变速的小车车 - and, you know, just been hitting the open road.
然后，你知道，新手上路了 - You know, I've only been doing it for two days,
你看，我只做了2天 - but it has totally changed my body.
但是锻炼已经完全改变了我的身体 - Mm.
嗯 - Y-you look good, too. Oh, haircut.
你你看上去也不错，哦，换了新发型 - Oh, yeah! Okay.
哦，是啊！挺好 - Started going to a black barbershop.
我去了一家黑人理发店 - They have fun there, let me tell you.
我跟你说，那儿很有趣 - Like, "Oh, what the... "
比如，“哦，那个...” - And ta-da! There we go. ta-da!
就是这样 - All right.
好的 - Wow. Looks like the restaurant's been doing great since I left.
哇，好像我走了以后，餐馆挺不错的 - Oh, yeah.
哦，是啊 - Wyatt's been, uh...
怀亚特，一直，额... - Really great.
非常好 - Oh. Oh! Oh!
哦，哦！哦 - I'm so, so sorry. I...
很抱歉，对不起，我... - don't. I-it's okay.
不是，我，没关系 - Honestly, I kind of miss that.
老实说，我挺想念你的毛手毛脚的 - Things have been a little too perfect around here.
现在这里真是完美的 - It's almost annoying.
有些烦人了 - I want to come back! Come back!
我想回来！回来吧 - Oh, thank God.
哦，感谢上帝 - The Golden Saddle is so corporate.
金鞍餐厅走集体主义风啊 - They don't treat individuals like themselves.
他们不让雇员表达自己 - It's all about the bottom line.
这都是触及底线的问题 - They drug test, don't they? It's all about the bottom line.
他们有尿检，是吗？这都是触及底线的问题 - They drug test, don't they?
他们有尿检，是吗 - Yeah.
是的 - Put in your two weeks' notice, I'll fire Wyatt.
告诉他们你要辞职，我会炒了怀亚特 - Really?
真的吗 - All right! Great!
好！棒极了 - Wyatt: Thank you, guys.
乡亲们们，谢谢 - Wyatt. Yes, sir?
怀亚特，怎么了，先生？ - This is, uh, hard for me to say,
这，有点难说 - but there's no way around it.
但实在没法子了 - I love what you bring to Cattleman's Ranch.
我很喜欢你给牧场主的牧场餐厅带来的一切... - You're doing a great job. No notes.
你做的很好，有条不紊 - Thank you, sir. Okay.
谢谢，先生 - Wow, that means a lot. Thank you.
哇，你的赞赏对我很重要，谢谢 - All right, who wants to see the Texas skip?
好吧，谁想看德州大绳圈？ - Yeah! Yeah! I do!
好耶！我要看！ - Hey, how come you don't come by the restaurant anymore...
嗨，你怎么不来餐厅了？ - I know what you're doing.
我知道你想干嘛 - I'm not going to fire Wyatt for you.
我不会再替你解雇怀亚特了 - It's just that you're so naturally confrontational.
因为你气场强大，自带对战属性 - Thank you. But you always do this.
谢谢，但你一直都让我当坏人 - You always want to be the good cop,
你总想唱红脸 - so you bring me in to wield the hammer.
所以你总是让我去挥大棒 - Do your own dirty work.
自己擦屁股去 - But you're so good at getting us hotel upgrades.
但是你连旅馆房间免费升级都能要来 - Shh!
嘘！ - An angel is among us.
天使下凡啊 - Amazing, Phillip! Amazing.
太不可思议了！菲利普！太棒了！ - I wanted Eddie to play the cello,
我想要艾迪学大提琴 - but he wanted to play "The beatbox" Instead.
但他只想玩“节奏嘻哈” - Eddie, stop. Stop spitting into your hands.
艾迪，停，别往你手上吐口水了 - Phillip's music is just so elegant.
菲利普的音乐真是优雅 - I'm surprised he likes the Beastie...
我都不知道他怎么会喜欢野兽男孩 - Do I smell food?
我闻到吃的味道了 - Let's eat!
我们开饭吧 - Thanks for turning off the stove for me, Jessica.
杰西卡，谢谢你帮我开火 - These shabbat dinners are a little tricky for us.
准备安息日的晚餐对我们来说有点困难呢 - What's Shabbat?
安息日是什么？ - Well, Shabbat is the Jewish day of rest.
嗯，安息日是犹太人休息日 - We're prohibited from doing certain things
从周五晚一直到周六的晚上 - from Friday night to Saturday night...
有些特定的事情不能做 - Turning electrical devices like the stove on and off,
开、关电器什么的，比如炉子 - uh, handling money, putting flowers in water.
嗯，还有用手拿钱啦，把花瓣撒在水里啦 - It kind of sounds like you're gremlins from the movie "Gremlins."
这些听着是电影“小精灵”里面的精灵做的事情 - Emery!
埃默里 - What happens if you get water on you?
如果你把水弄到身上会怎样？ - Evan! Believe me,
埃文！相信我 - we'd love to let some of these rules slide,
我们也想不那么守规矩 - but our Phillip is just so strict with us.
但菲利普对我们非常严格 - I know the feeling.
我懂你的感受 - We got one in our house, too.
我们家也有这么一位管事的 - Mm.
嗯哼 - I believe that if you're gonna do something, do it right.
我相信如果你要做什么事，就一定要把那件事做好 - Yes!
说的好！ - Take it easy, mom.
别激动，妈妈 - You are so responsible, Phillip!
你真有责任心，菲利普 - This is exactly why I feel so good about
所以你俩明晚去看野兽男孩的演唱会 - you two going to the Beastie Boys concert tomorrow night.
我一点意见都没 - Absolutely, Mrs. Huang.
当然，黄阿姨 - It's gonna be a great time!
我们会玩的很愉快的！ - Did you just go to the bathroom in the dark because of Shabbat?
你有因为安息日而在黑暗中上厕所的吗？ - Yeah. I Ray Charles'd it.
对，我体会了萧煌奇的感觉 - Why did you go along with my lie about the Beastie Boys concert?
为什么你要帮我圆谎说陪我去野兽男孩的演唱会？ - Because I have a proposition for you.
因为我有个提议 - I'll go to your silly rap show tomrow night if you bring me
我明晚可以陪你去看那愚蠢的说唱表演 - to a matinee performance of "Les Miserables" earlier that day.
但你那天要先得陪我去看“悲惨世界” - Look at this...
看看你俩 - A couple of buddies scheming about who knows what.
两个小兄弟，说着小秘密 - I love it. Don't tell me anything about it.
真可爱，可别告诉我什么哟 - I'll be in the bathroom.
我去上厕所了 - I need you to take me to "Les Mis"
我要你带我去看《悲惨世界》 - because the rules of Shabbat forbid my parents from driving me
因为根据安息日的规定，我父母不能开车，所以他们不能带我去 - and I can't handle money,
而且我不能用手碰钱 - so I can't buy tickets and a proper souvenir.
所以我买不了票和中意的纪念品 - And how is that my problem?
那关我什么事呢 - It's not,
不关你的事 - but it's your only way to see the Beastie Boys.
但这是你去看野兽男孩演唱会的唯一办法 - Fine. You got yourself a deal.
那好，就这么说定了 - Sloppy.
真邋遢 - For "Les Mis," You're gonna want to clean this up.
要去看“悲惨世界”你得把它弄干净 - Okay, so, I have to fire this cowboy host at work,
嗯，我必须要开除餐厅的牛仔领班 - and I need your help.
我需要你们帮忙 - We're gonna do a little role-play.
我们来个角色扮演 - I'll be the boss, and you're the employee I'm firing, okay?
假设我是老板，你们是我要开除的雇员，明白吗？ - Evan, I called you in here today...
埃文，我今天把你叫过来 - Hold on.
慢着 - Your face is too cute. I can't fire that face.
你表情太可爱了，我开不了口 - Be more serious.
严肃点 - Well, that's even cuter. You're excused.
好吧，更可爱了，走吧走吧 - Go. Go, go, go, go, go.
走，走，赶紧走 - Emery, though I do value your work...
埃默里，尽管我觉得你工作很好 - My butt fell off.
但我屁股掉了 - What?
什么？ - My butt fell off.
我屁股掉了 - You can't fire me.
你不能解雇我 - This is the only job I can do without a butt.
这是我唯一可以做的工作，没有它的话 - I got no butt. Then I can't fire you.
—我就换新屁股了，—那我不能解雇你 - Yeah. Oh, gosh.
是的，噢，天啊 - Mrs. Goldstein and I talked, and the plan is simple...
戈德斯坦太太和我商量过了，这个路线很简单 - After the musical, you walk to the concert venue.
音乐会结束后，你们走到演唱会地点 - It's only 3 blocks away.
只有3个街区远 - And make s... I know, I know.
另外让....我知道，知道了 - Stick together, and look out for each other.
呆在一起，互相关照 - Okay, and here is some money for souvenirs and snacks.
很好，这有一点钱你们可以去买纪念品和零食 - Why are you giving it to Phillip?
你怎么把它给菲利普 - Oh, honey, because I trust him more.
哦，亲爱的，我更信任他 - Actually, I can't handle any money today.
事实上，今天我不能用手碰钱 - Shabbat.
因为安息日 - Eddie, could you grab that and put it in my pocket?
埃迪，你能把它塞到我口袋里去吗 - Careful not to confuse a pocket for a pleat.
我的口袋可不一般哦 - They're pressed, and they're deep.
我们犹太人的口袋又紧又深 - God, I love the mezzanine.
天哪，这些看台太美了 - Bravo!
真精彩 - Whoo!
太棒了 - Thank God it's finally over.
谢天谢地总算完了 - It's intermission.
这只是中场休息 - Man...
拜托... - I feel my life has peaked too early.
我这么年轻就体验到了人生的高潮 - I'm going to the bathroom.
我要去厕所 - When I get back, I'm reaching in your pocket,
我回来后，我会把手伸到你口袋里 - paying for your dumb shirt,
拿出钱来买你的二逼T恤 - and we're going to the Beastie Boys.
然后我们去看野兽男孩 - They're doing "Follies" In the spring?
春季的时候还有《富丽秀》（音乐剧)） - Um, yes, please.
赶紧上映吧 - It is great to be back, boss.
老板，回来的感觉真是好 - It is so great to have you back, Mitch.
米奇，你能回来真是太好了 - So, the first thing I need you to do is fire Wyatt.
那么，你回来的第一件事就是把怀亚特炒了 - Y-you're joking.
你，你开玩笑的吧 - I know why you think that... I am a jokester,
我知道你为什么会这么想...我确实喜欢开玩笑的 - but, no, seriously, you're gonna have to do it.
但是，这次不是，说真的，这个任务交给你了 - Uh...
呃... - O-okay. Okay, yeah, I'll do it.
好，好吧，行，我来处理 - I mean...
我是说... - Yeah. I can't wait to do it.
行啊，我迫不及待呢 - Great.
好极了 - I leave at 5:30, so do it at 5:35.
我5:30走，所以你5:35行动 - I want to be on the highway when it's happening.
我希望在此事发生时，我已经上高速了 - I...
我... - Adios, Wyatt.
拜了，怀亚特 - Phillip?
菲利普 - Phillip!
菲利普 - Phillip!
菲利普 - How could you lose Phillip?!
你怎么会把菲利普弄丢的呢 - You were supposed to look out for each other!
你们俩得互相照应着的啊！ - I don't know, mom! I'm sorry!
我也不知道，妈！我很抱歉 - What if somebody took him? Don't say that.
万一他被人拐卖了怎么办？别这么说 - Who wouldn't want him? He's perfect.
谁会不想要他？他如此完美 - Okay, we just have to tell the Goldsteins the truth,
好吧，我们只能把真相告诉戈德斯坦一家了 - and so you know I'm going to put most of the blame on you,
和你说下，我会把主要责任推给你 - not because I want to, but for legal purposes.
并不是我想主要做，主要是从法律角度考虑 - Phillip! Oh, thank God!
菲利普！哦，谢天谢地！ - Hello, Mrs. Huang.
你好，黄太太 - Edwyn.
埃德温 - What are you doing here?!
你怎么会在这里 - Oh, well, I got to the front of the merchandise line,
哦，这样的，当轮到我的时候 - and you weren't back.
你还没有回来 - But then I realized it was nightfall...
但我意识到当时已经是黄昏了... - Shabbat was over.
安息日已经结束了 - I thought that ended at midnight.
我以为是在凌晨结束的 - I'm a devout Jew, not Cinderella.
我是虔诚的犹太教徒，不是灰姑娘 - So, I bought this gorgeous shirt myself
于是，我就自己买了这件华丽丽的衣服 - and caught the bus home.
然后坐公交车回家了 - You were supposed to go to the concert with me!
你本来应该和我一起去看演唱会的啊 - Yeah, I didn't want to do that.
是啊，但我并不想去的 - You just left him?
那你就撇开他不管了吗 - Phillip, you should be ashamed of yourself.
菲利普，你应该为你的行为感到羞愧 - Eddie gave up going to his concert to look for you,
艾迪以为寻找你的下落而放弃了去看演唱会 - and you broke your promise to him!
而你也违背了对他的誓言 - You are very selfish.
你很自私 - You are not a good Chinese boy.
你不是个好的中国孩子 - Eddie is.
艾迪才是 - Nice, mom.
说的好，老妈 - Now drop the Mike and let's go.
是时候放下麦克，出发了 - Drop the Mike? Who is Mike?
放下麦克？麦克是谁？ - Microphone, mom. Drop the Mike? Who is Mike?
是麦克风啦，老妈，放下麦克？麦克是谁？ - Microphone, mom.
是麦克风啦，老妈 - It means you were awesome.
我想说你很赞 - Not gonna lie... what my mom did back there surprised me,
说真的...我妈刚刚的行为让我吃惊 - but what she did next surprised me even more.
而她之后做的事情，让我大吃一惊 - She took me to see the Beastie Boys
她隔天晚上亲自带我去 - the very next night in Tampa.
了坦帕市看了野兽男孩 - Whoo!
好棒！ - Thank God that's finally over.
感谢上帝演唱会已经结束了 - No, that was just the opening act.
还没呢，刚刚的只是暖场的 - Man... That was awesome!
拜托...太赞啦 - So, like I was saying,
正如我之前提到的 - finding your bearings in a new school is always tough...
在新学校里要找到自己的方向是很困难的 - Obviously, you've never tried
很明显，你从来没有 - to raise the jib on wet teak.
尝试过在潮湿的甲板上扬帆 - Which is why it means so much
也就是为什么你会在终于找到 - when you finally find someone you identify with.
一个同类的时候会欢呼雀跃 - Can't keep me down, Goldstein.
哥不需要你了，戈德斯坦 - You're a philistine, Huang.
你很俗气，黄 - But sometimes,
但有时候 - the more meaningful way to connect with somebody But sometimes,
与他人交心的方式，但有时候 - the more meaningful way to connect with somebody
与他人交心的方式 - isn't the most obvious one.
并不明显 - You saw the Beastie Boys, too?
你也去看了野兽男孩 - Hell yeah, I did! It was ill!
那必须的！太爽了 - I can't believe they opened with "Egg man"!
我不敢相信他们用《鸡蛋人》这首歌来开场 - I mean, crazy, right? Oh, my God!
超级疯狂的对吧？可不是么 - Check us out...
看看咱俩... - An Asian kid and a black kid
一个亚洲人和一个黑人 - bonding over music by white Jewish rappers.
因为一个白皮肤的犹太饶舌歌手走的很近 - America's crazy.
美国太疯狂了 - Hi. Welcome to Cattleman's Ranch.
嗨，欢迎来到牧场主的牧场餐厅 - May I get you a table or a booth?
为你们安排一个餐桌还是还是一个小隔间 - Would you like me to lasso you a couple seats at the bar?
需要我用皮鞭帮你们抽几张椅子到吧台么 - Ooh!
哦 - Lasso, please.
那就抽吧 - What's Wyatt still doing here?
为什么怀亚特还在 - I couldn't fire him.
我没办法抄了他 - Those dimples.
他的酒窝太迷人 - Look, it's okay.
听我说，没事的 - We'll just be co-hosts.
我们可以一起代位 - Okay, well, then you two are splitting a salary.
行啊，那么，你们两个人分一份薪水 - Wyatt, you're fired!
怀亚特，你被炒了 - You're fired, Wyatt! Wyatt!
你被抄了，怀亚特！怀亚特 - Wait. Let me get on the highway.
等等，让我先开去高速公路 - I don't even have my keys out yet!
我连车钥匙都没拿出来呢！
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crew: [kruː] n. 全体工作人员；全体船员，全体乘务员；技术人员团队；专业团队 ↩
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puffy: [ˈpʌfi] adj. 鼓胀的；肿胀的；松软洁白的；白绒团状的 ↩
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the other day: 前几天 ↩