上了大学经常感觉的孤独，且被他深深负面影响之后，我意识到了认识孤独和学会直面孤独是多么的重要。今天看到一个Ted视频给了我一些些启发。
这个ted从社交软件和通讯方式来阐述这对于每一个身在这个时代的人所带来的影响。
首先，我看到社交网站别人晒的好图好生活，我不该自卑。他们的生活和我没有任何可比性。其次，在一个人的时候，我不该马上找一个人来排解孤独，我需要有独处的时间来思考和反思自己的一天。独处才是成长最宝贵的。
--移动通讯设备不仅改变了我们的生活方式，它也从心理上改变了我们本身。人们在开会时回邮件发消息，上课时网购和短信。
--we text in funerals since we remove ourselves in intense sorrow
--we are going in a lifestyle of being "alone together"
--people want to customize their lives by going in and out places they want since they care about control over where they put their attention
--we end up hiding from each other even we keep connected
--Goldilocks effect--people want to keep distance from others not too close and not too far, and what people feel just right is staying online, and receive attention from internet instead of having a conversation.(we don't have control over conversation so we don't like it.)
--using texting doesn't work for learning about each other since little text doesn't add up to a big conversation(we embellish ourselves from the screen and disengage ourselves from conversation).
--refrain from conversation compromise our ability for self-reflection
--feeling of "no one is listening to me" make us more reliable on machines that seem to care about us.
--we expect more from technology and less from each other since we are vulnerable like a woman who lost her child finding comfort from a baby seal robot.(the robot cannot feel the human pain, how it can heal woman's heart? The whole thing is illusion, just like we seek comfort by being connected on the internet)
--mobile phones give us three seemly great things
->we can put our attention from wherever we want
->we will always be heard
->we will never have to be alone
--"I share, therefore I am", if we don't have connections, we don't feel like ourselves
--connection is not conversation, connection will actually leads to isolation
--we need capacity for solitude, if at this time we contact others, we are using them as spare parts to support our fragile sense of self
--we feel easy to think that being connected is going to make us feel less alone, but the opposite is true. If we are not able to be alone, we are going to be more lonely. If we don't teach our children to be alone, they will only know how to be lonely.