Work email writing example：Using P Framework

Yesterday，I wrote an email to my global boss aims to explain why we prefer to Use P framework, After I finished the draft I sent it to my direct manager first because I was not sure if it is proper.

Thanks for my manager, he reviewed my email and gave me a lot of practical suggestions.

Belowing is the detail:

hi XX,
After comparison, I think using P framework may better.

Improvement Point 1： Thinking about who is our audience? It's global boss who has to handle tons of business per day, so he may not remember what i am talking about. So I should write the background and give TA some mentions.
Improvement Point 2： For me, I am absoulutely confirmed that P is better, so I should use a firm tone，not "may", "I think"...
Improvement Point 3： Using "we" not "I" because it's done by our team not myself.
Demonstration：As we discussed last week on the framework selection to XX application, I discussed with NN, our conclusion is we prefer to use P framework.

Firstly, the effort is almost same no matter we use P framework or M framework. because we all nees to rebuild the ....

Improvement Point 1: Thinking about who is our audience again, TA may not familiar with technical details, so I should using I should use a way that he can read and understand.

Secondly, P framework can help us ...
So I think P may better for us.

In additon, I think the X happens to a chance to switch framwork, I made a plan like this: ...

Improvement Point 1: Last week the boss showed concern about the deliver date, so I made a plan, I should also mention it.
Demonstration：For your concern of timeline, we came up with this plan which seems to be manageable even we swtich to P framwork.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Improvement Point 1: I should use a firm tone again, If I end this email like this, the audience may throw many questions so it will be a endless topic.Just give TA 2 choices: YES or NO.

Demonstration：Please let us konw if the rationale and execution plan is make sense to you.

Regards,
CC

After the revision, the whole email looks much better. Writing is an art, so I should continue to learn more in the future.