【写作成长计划】20

【语录】Have the art of conversation(要有话谈的艺术)

That is where the real personality shows itself. No act requires more attention, thought it be the most common thing in life.You must either lose or gain by it. If it takes care to write a letter, which is but a deliberate and written conversation, how much more so the ordinary kind in which there is occasion for a prompt display of intelligence? Experts feel the pulse of the soul in the tongue, which is why the sage said, “Speak, that I may that know thee .” Some hold that the art of conversation is to be without art-that it should be neat, not gaudy, like clothing. This holds good for talk between friends. But when held with persons to whom one would show respect, it should be more dignified to answer to the dignity of the person addressed. To be appropriate it should adapt itself to the tone of others. And do not be a critic of words, or you will be taken for a pedant; nor a tax-gatherer of ideas, or people will avoid you, or at least sell their thoughts dear. In conversation discretion is more important than eloquence.

那是展示真实个性的地方。没有比这更需要注意的行为了，因为它是生活中最普通的事情。

得失成败，端来于此。一封书信只不过是一篇深思熟虑的书面谈话而已。

如果写份信也要慎重对待的话，那么，有机会即时展现聪明才智的平常谈话，又该要如何加倍小心呢？

行家里手能够在言词中感受灵魂的脉动，圣人云：“听其言，知其人。“

道理也正在此。有人坚持认为，谈话的艺术就是没有艺术——它应该简洁，而不是华而不实，就像衣服一样。

这种方式很适合朋友之间的交谈。但在跟那些你应该表示尊重的人交谈的时候，谈话的方式就应该更有尊严，以符合对方的尊贵。

想要言辞得体，就要适应他人的精神气质和语调口吻。不要咬文嚼字，否则你就会被视为爱炫耀学问的迂夫子；

也不要充当观点的收税人，否则人们就会躲着你，或者至少也会把他们的思想卖的很贵。

在交谈中，判断力比口才更重要。