Daily diary — 11th June

    Well , it’s time to write something now , I didn’t prepare anything for today’s article . What could I write down today ?

    I played CSGO for the whole day and got successive victories . It made me happy indeed . But I still felt empty in my heart . I wanted to seek something to fill my heart or make me busy . I wanted to have a relaxing life but I couldn’t stand the life style which is always relaxing . I needed adequate strain to make me excited and nervous , then I would not lose myself in the comfortable state and then I could get more progress .

    A paradox appeared in my mind for a long time . I have learnt many skills in my previous life but I couldn’t use them everyday so I became rusty when I wanted to practice them again .

    When I was a puny kid , I was bullied by the stronger bad boys and I wanted to be a strong man so I could kick their ass and told them to go away . I became strong in the later years but I found that our law forbade fighting . My fighting skills became useless gradually and I probably would not fight with others in my future life .

    I learnt to recover Rubik’s cube , including Rubik’s Cube and Rubik’s Revenge . I had memorized their formulas and practiced them for several weeks . I could recover any random Rubik’s cube then and I was proud of that . Two years later , I forgot the formulas and couldn’t do that successfully anymore .

    In the army , I was taught to use guns , practice queue action and fold my quilt in an unique way . I could finish them well in that time but several years later I could not use them in my daily life so I became a layman again .

    All the things were going to be changed with the time lapsed . I had done many sorts of part-time jobs and learnt various skills . But once I resigned from that occupation I would be rusty to that work . I attempted to master different techniques in different work . Now I was sober enough to realize that it was a fantasy . Maybe my brain volume was limited and I couldn’t put everything into my head . All these were hobbies and I would not use them to make money and feed myself . So I thought I would forget my harmonica playing technique and my body exercise skill in the later future .

    Maybe I had reach the peak of those subjects though they were not high enough , once I abandoned the training and study in that area I would not reach the summit anymore .

    So I would feel confused about the question : Now that the skills I had learnt would be forgotten one day , why did I study them ?