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Some Rules Kids Won
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<
b
>
Claim:
</
b
>
&
nbsp; Bill Gates authored a list of
'
Rules Kids Won
'
t Learn
in
School.
'
58
<
br
/><
br
/>
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<
b
>
INCORRECTLY ATTRIBUTED
</
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>
62
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alt
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<
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/>
65
66
<
b
>
Example:
</
b
>
&
nbsp;
<
i
>
[Collected via e
-
mail,
2000
]
</
i
>
67
68
<
br
/><
br
/>
69
<
div
class
=
"
quoteBlock
"
>
70
Rule No.
1
:
&
nbsp; Life
is
not fair. Get used to it. The average teen
-
ager uses the phrase
"
It's not fair
"
<
nobr
>
8.6
times
</
nobr
>
a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule
<
nobr
>
No.
1
.
</
nobr
>
71
<
br
/><
br
/>
72
Rule No.
2
:
&
nbsp; The real world won
'
t care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It
'
ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come
as
a shock. Usually, when inflated self
-
esteem meets reality, kids complain that it
'
s not fair. (See Rule <nobr>No. 1)</nobr>
73
<
br
/><
br
/>
74
75
Rule No.
3
:
&
nbsp; Sorry, you won
'
t make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won
'
t be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn
'
t have a Gap label.
76
<
br
/><
br
/>
77
Rule No.
4
:
&
nbsp; If you think your teacher
is
tough, wait
'
til you get a boss. He doesn
'
t have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he
'
s not going to ask you how you feel about it.
78
<
br
/><
br
/>
79
Rule No.
5
:
&
nbsp; Flipping burgers
is
not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word
for
burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren
'
t embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.
80
<
br
/><
br
/>
81
Rule No.
6
:
&
nbsp; It
'
s not your parents
'
fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This
is
the flip side of
"
It's my life,
"
and
"
You're not the boss of me,
"
and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn
18
, it
'
s on your dime. Don
'
t whine about it, or you
'
ll sound like a baby boomer.
82
<
br
/><
br
/>
83
Rule No.
7
:
&
nbsp; Before you were born your parents weren
'
t as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents
'
generation,
try
delousing the closet
in
your bedroom.
84
85
<
br
/><
br
/>
86
Rule No.
8
:
&
nbsp; Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn
'
t. In some schools, they
'
ll give you
as
many times
as
you want to
get
the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and
class
valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone
'
s feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule <nobr>No. 1,</nobr> Rule <nobr>No. 2</nobr> and Rule <nobr>No. 4.)</nobr>
87
<
br
/><
br
/>
88
Rule No.
9
:
&
nbsp; Life
is
not divided into semesters, and you don
'
t get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don
'
t
get
a
new
life every
<
nobr
>
10
weeks.
</
nobr
>
It just goes on and on. While we
'
re at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule <nobr>No. 1</nobr> and Rule <nobr>No. 2.)</nobr>
89
90
<
br
/><
br
/>
91
Rule No.
10
:
&
nbsp; Television
is
not real life. Your life
is
not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved
in
<
nobr
>
30
minutes,
</
nobr
>
minus time
for
commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be
as
perky or pliable
as
Jennifer Aniston.
92
<
br
/><
br
/>
93
Rule No.
11
:
&
nbsp; Be nice to nerds. You may end up working
for
them. We all could.
94
</
div
>
95
<
div
class
=
"
quoteBlockEnd
"
>
&
nbsp;
</
div
>
96
<
br
/>
97
<
b
>
Origins:
</
b
>
&
nbsp; No, the above
-
cited list of
"
Rules Kids Won't Learn in School
"
didn
'
t originate with former Microsoft CEO Bill Gates. (It
'
s frequently cited on the Internet
as
having come from his book
<
I
>
Business @ The Speed of Thought
</
I
>
, but it didn
'
t.) Why it has frequently been attributed to him is a mystery to us, as it doesn
'
t sound at all like something he would write. Possibly it
'
s because the item that typically ends the Internet-circulated version of the list ("Be nice to nerds") struck a chord with someone who views Gates as the ultimate successful nerd of all time.
98
99
<
br
/><
br
/>
100
One version which appeared on the Internet
in
June
2002
asserted
this
is
the text of a commencement speech given by Bill Gates to the graduating
class
of
<
nobr
>
Mt. Whitney
</
nobr
>
High School
in
Visalia, California. It isn
'
t: he didn
'
t give such a speech, and administrators at that school were mystified
as
to why they were dragged into
this
apocryphal story.
101
<
br
/><
br
/>
102
Nor
is
this
list the work of Kurt Vonnegut, another person to whom authorship has been attributed. A clue found
in
those versions (
"
From a college graduation
103
104
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text-align: justify; margin-top: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 40px; margin-right: 40px
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105
Rule No.
12
:
&
nbsp; Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you
'
re out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That
'
s what you look like to anyone over
20
. Ditto
for
"
expressing yourself
"
with purple hair and
/
or pierced body parts.
106
107
<
br
/><
br
/>
108
Rule No.
13
:
&
nbsp; You are not immortal. (See Rule
<
nobr
>
No.
12
.)
</
nobr
>
If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse
is
romantic, you obviously haven
'
t seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.
109
<
br
/><
br
/>
110
Rule No.
14
:
&
nbsp; Enjoy
this
while
you can. Sure parents are a pain, school
'
s a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you
'
ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You
'
re welcome.
111
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>
112
113
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