最终无论你怎样选择 那些终将到来...
Whatever you choose, what happened was gonna happen...
1.
迪安是我的好朋友。今天说好的，和他一起开车去青岛, 参加我们一个朋友的海边婚礼 。
Dean is my friend. We had a deal today that we will drive to Qingdao to join a seaside wedding ceremony of our friend.
那天,迪安问我一起开车去青岛时, 我心里骂着，“青岛开车去？火车去才靠谱吧，要不飞机也可以？”
When Dean asked me if we would drive to Qingdao before, I was cursing in my head, "Drive to Qingdao? Train is more realistic or plane?"
迪安似乎能猜到我的想法, 他接着说道: "一起的公路旅行, 聊天, 听着音乐无意义地驾着车飞驰, 怕是男人们除了运动, 赌钱和喝酒以外, 这世界唯一留给我们的社交消遣了."
Dean seemed that he can read my mind, said, "I’m afraid that a road trip with chatting, enjoying the music when driving the car speedingly is the only social entertainment the world left to us except exercise, gambling and drinking. "
"噢? 这我倒第一次听说." 我边问,边想着.
"Oh? It’s my first time to hear that." I asked, while thinking. "
你想, 两个男的, 能一起去看画展吗? 能一起去看电影吗? 能一起去逛街吗? 甚至一起走进一个像样的餐厅吃个饭都令人生疑. 而所有这些, 两个女的都能做. 不是吗?"
"Have a think about it, is it normal for two men to go to see an exhibition? movies? or go shopping together? Even it seems not that right for two men to go to a decent restaurant. However, All of these are fine when it comes to two women, right?"
"哈哈哈! " 这家伙老是说一些新理论给我听. 我大笑着回应到“好，我们偶尔就来一次兄弟一起的公路旅行吧。”
"Hahahah!" "this guy always pours some new theories to me." I laughed and responded, "well, let's do it, bro, a road trip once in a while ."
我开着我的斯巴鲁到达迪安家的时候大概是中午12点，他和女朋友一起在吃生煎和小馄饨。我坐下慢慢等他，没问这是早饭还是中饭。房间没整理过，地上桌上摊着打开的书，网球拍，一些洗好但没折的衣服...
I drove my Subaru to dean's home and arrived at around 12a.m., while he and his girlfriend were eating fried plain bun and wonton soup. I sat down and waited for him without asking if it was breakfast or lunch. The room had not been cleaned, with books opened, a tennis racket and some unfolded clean clothes on the floor.
迪安家的电视机上在播一个电影，年代感强烈，里面的人还都频繁地使用着一种叫固定电话的东西, 拖着根线, 抱着哇啦哇啦讲.
A pretty vintage movie was on the TV,people in the movie using frequently a kind of fixed-line telephone with a long cable attached, yapping.
我大概用了2分钟，就猜到，这是一部伍迪艾伦的电影。“是的，你看过？叫《Husbands and Wives 》”他女朋友回答着，她漂亮的牙齿和脸上微微的雀斑总让我觉得特别可爱。
It took me about 2 minutes to guess that it was a movie directed by Woody Allen. "Yes, have you watched it?" It's called 《Husbands and Wives》. "His girlfriend replied, She is very cute with her beautiful teeth and freckles on her face. “
没看过， 一看里面这种讲话神经兮兮的风格就猜得到 。”
"Nope, But it’s not hard to guess cause’ this kind of style of talking is neurotic."
我坐下的的时候电影已近尾声。一对中产知识分子男女正在做爱, 做爱完毕, 男人喘着气和女人说:
"你知道吗, 每个人都属于一种动物, 豪猪或狐狸. 比如我就是狐狸, 你嘛, 应该是豪猪. "
By the time I sat down, the movie was close to the end. A couple of middle class intellectuals were making love. After that, the man breathing heavily talked to the women:
"You know what, everybody is an animal, a porcupine or a fox. For example, I'm a fox, and you should be a porcupine.""
"那么杰克属于什么, 萨丽呢?" 女人问道. "
So how about Jack, and Sally?" asked the woman "
杰克依照我来看, 必然是豪猪. 萨丽不好说, 我觉得是狐狸吧."
"Jack, I think, must be a porcupine. It is difficult to say about Sally ... I think she´s more like a fox."
女人看来明白了分类的规律, 开始和男人一起把他们共同的朋友一一打上豪猪或狐狸的标签 ......
Women seemed to understand the principles of the classification, and began to tag their common friends with a porcupine or fox lable.
“走不走？”迪安催着我，看我嘴里答应着，屁股却粘着沙发不动的样子，他也坐了下来，捧着手机和我聊着一起继续看...
"wanna go?" Dean was urging me. But then he sat down, holding his cell phone and chatting with me and continuing to watch the movie when he saw me still sitting on the coach, although saying yes without moving at all.
不知不觉，在迪安家看完了整部电影。
We watched the whole movie at Dean's home without noticing the time flied.
"谢谢你给我看了一部爱情恐怖片. " 迪安女友笑着和迪安说.
"Thank you for showing me a romantic thriller." Dean's girlfriend smiled and said to Dean.
"不, 那是一部纪录片." 我和她眨着眼睛说. 随即起身道别.
"No, it's a documentary." I blinked and told her. Then I stood up and said goodbye.
我和迪安终于开在了出上海的高速上，我开车，迪安在边上不停地说着话，我闷声不响。云象棉花糖一样一朵朵粘在高速的边上，我的中古款的银灰色斯巴鲁力狮Wagon似乎在无声地滑翔着。水平对置的引擎突然一声闷响，就发力超过一辆慢吞吞占着左边超车道的黑车，“都是不踩油门的车。”迪安骂了一句。
Finally, we were on freeway off Shanghai, Dean kept talking next to me while I was driving silently. Clouds like cotton candy were stuck in the side of freeway，My silver gray vintage Subaru Wagon seemed silently gliding. With a sudden muffled sound from the boxer engine, it pushed past a black car that was slowly taking up the left lane of overtaking, "No one steps on the gas!" Dean scolded.
“你觉得你是豪猪还是狐狸?” 我突然问迪安.
"Do you think you're a porcupine or a fox?" I asked Dean suddenly.
“豪猪吧.”迪安接口到。"你呢?"
"Porcupine, maybe." Dean replied，"and you?"
"我自己说自己还真说不好,大概是狐狸吧."
"I am not quite sure，maybe fox."
" “这电影有点意思噢, 把中产阶级, 知识分子从套子里抓出来, 撕得粉粉碎。”
"The movie was kind of interesting. What do you think？Grabbing the middle class, the intellectuals out of the shell, and smash them."
“都市中产阶级，过着舒适的生活，音乐会, 电影, 酒, 餐厅, 朋友, 但生活中终究还是比不上我们的远古祖先，作为狩猎者，追逐着受伤的长毛象，当猎物终于倒下时，那种兴奋和纯粹的快乐. ” 迪安冷冷地说着。
"The urban middle class, living a comfortable life with concerts, movies, wine, restaurants, friends, is not as well as our ancient ancestors, who were hunters, chasing the injured mammoth, enjoyed excitement and pure joy when the prey finally fell down." Dean said coldly.
迪安只穿着个T恤，看起来一如既往热血沸腾的样子。1小时以后，我们沿着匝道驶入休息站加油, 我肚子饿了.
Dean wore a T-shirt and looked quite passionate as always. I was hungry when we drove along the ramp into the rest station to refuel in one hour.
我们在一个面馆停下，店里出乎意料的干净，地上桌上一尘不染。店里播放着 Laleh的歌 "Who started it"，我很喜欢的Jazz, 作为一家牛肉面店到底有点奇怪.
We stopped at a noodle shop, it’s unexpectedly clean inside, even the floor. Laleh's song "Who started it" in the air, one of my favorite Jazz. It is a bit strange anyway as a beef noodle shop.
他曾经是一个活泼的人
He used to be hilarious
直到他丢失感知快乐的能力
Before he lost his sense of... Fun.
直到他不再感到快乐
Until he doesn't feel happy anymore
现在他说
Now he says,
现在他说上帝是清醒的
Now he says God in conscious
现在他说 上帝在操控着
Now he says God is manipulating
难怪 我们迷失了，我们都迷失了。
No wonder we get lost, all of us.
难怪 我们两个 都迷失了”
No wonder the two of us are lost"
老板坐在收银机边上读一本旧旧的 《卡拉马佐夫兄弟 》. 看到我们很快走来给我们点菜，少顷，热腾腾的牛肉面上来了，我们两个人什么话也不说开始吃面。
The boss sat beside the cashier reading an old book 《The Brothers Karamazov》. He walked to order for us once seeing us . After a moment, the hot beef noodle was served and we started eating noodles silently.
老板走过来和我们搭话，他灰白的头发剪得整整齐齐, 晒得黝黑, 穿着一件洗得干干净净的卫衣, 看上去并不像一般的小店老板, "你上海来的？看到你的车了，斯巴鲁力狮啊？好车，不多见呢。”
The boss came over to chat with us, his gray hair was cut neatly. He's quite tanned in a clean hoodie unlike a normal noodle shop owner at all. "You came from Shanghai? I saw your car, the Subaru legacy? Nice car, rarely seen."
“对啊，你居然认得出啊，知道的人不多。”
"Yeah, as you see. but few could tell."
“是啊，我以前想过要一部斯巴鲁的，蓝色的翼豹。
"Yes, I wanted a Subaru as well before, a blue impreza."
“那去买吧？”
"Why not then?""
“后来成家了，开了这个店，画画也很久不画了, 原来有的几部摩托车也不大开, 除了辅导孩子功课, 晚上和邻居打打牌喝喝酒,也没啥事做了, 斯巴鲁这样的车, 想想也没啥用处，算了。”老板咧嘴一笑露出一口雪白的牙齿.
"I got married then, and opened this shop, you know... I stopped painting, riding my motorcycles which I used to drive.... I have nothing to do besides helping kids with homework, playing cards, or drinking with neighbors in the evening. A Subaru is not practical for me any more." The boss grinned with his snow-white teeth.
我点点头表示明白, 继续低着头哧溜呲溜吃面.
I nodded, and then continued to eat.
吃好面，老板娘抢着走来收拾碗筷, 她看起来略有一点年纪, 但还是很美, 头发整齐地往后梳起, 闪闪发亮, 脸上皮肤也微微有点晒红, 一些不显眼的雀斑倒是一点不觉得难看, 反而增加了一丝俏丽.
Once we finished, the boss‘s wife came and cleaned the table. She looked certainly not young anymore，but still very beautiful, with her hair neatly combed back and shiny, the face was slightly tanned with some inconspicuous freckles on the cheek，which made her more pretty.
迪安呆呆地站在收银台边，在柜台边放着一个小小的斗牛士和公牛的瓷像，头牛士穿着紧身饰满亮片的制服，正把细细的长剑刺向公牛肩膀的隆起之间，而公牛也正摆着锋利的犄角甩头刺向斗牛士，看不出谁会先刺到谁。迪安似乎被这个雕像吸引住了，站在那里不停地把玩。
Dean stood near the cashier, where stood a vitrotype of a small matador and a bull, in which the matador in a set of tight spangled uniform, was pointing to the bulge of the bull's shoulders with a piece of thin yataghan, while the bull was throwing its sharp horn to the matador, you can’t tell which one will be the first to stab to the other. Dean seemed to be attracted by the statue, standing there and playing with it.
老板看着他，笑着拿起雕像说，“送给你吧，我以前在西班牙骑摩托车时买的。”
The boss looked at him and smiled to pick up the statue and said, "take it as a gift，I bought it in Spain when I had a motorcycle tour."
迪安木然地看着老板，机械地道谢，把雕像塞进了牛仔裤的口袋里。
Dean looked at the boss bluntly, said thank you Mechanically and then put the statue into his jeans’ pocket.
我们又跳上了车。 We jumped into the car again.
换了迪安开车，车跑在新修的高速上, 艳阳下的柏油马路发出特殊的香味，周围的景物一一远离，我晃了一眼车速表，大概是130左右的速度。车继续在高速上平稳地前进，高速道路也算是经济发达的标志之一吧，可惜所有路边的景物千篇一律，你甚至没法分辨你是行驶在浙江还是山东。我突然觉得有点头痛，随之而来一种强烈的昏昏欲睡感在一秒之内就把我拉入深不见底的睡眠里。
It was Dean’s turn to drive, the car ran on the new freeway. The asphalt road under bright sun smelt specially fragrant, the scenery surrounded moving away from one by one. I had a glance on the speed meter, it probably was about 130km/h. The car was moving forward smoothly on the freeway. The freeway is also one of the signs of advanced economies. Unfortunately, all the scenery roadside are the same, you can not even tell whether you are in Zhejiang or Shandong. All of a sudden, I felt a bit headache, and then a strong sense of drowsiness pulled me into bottomless sleep in a second.
“嘭！”伴随一声闷响，突然一辆红色的Polo摇摇晃晃慢速切到了我们的面前，迪安赶忙手忙脚乱地陪着它一起刹车。Polo像喝醉酒一样在我前面摇着, 有一个轮胎瘪掉了。它慢慢地靠边停下，我们慢速地驶过它身边，车里是两个女人。
"Bang!" a red Polo drove shakingly and cut in front of us suddenly with a dull thud , and Dean hurried to brake too. Polo shook like a drunken man in front of me with one flat tire . It slowly pulled aside, and we drove slowly away from it, in which were two women.
好像我没有和迪安说什么，他也没表示任何异议，我在前面几十米的地方也停下了车。两个女人已经站在了车外，显然惊魂未定，一个白衣的脸色通红，一个黑裙的则惨白惨白。
I didn't say anything to Dean, neither did him. and I stopped the car tens meters forward. Two women had stood outside shakingly still, the one in white skirt with a red face while the black skirt was so pale.
我看了一眼说：“爆胎了。”
I glanced and said, "flat tyre."
“能帮帮忙吗？”白裙的女人好像还能说出话来。脸色还是微微发红，呼吸仍然急促....
"Can you help me?"" The woman in white skirt seemed to be able to speak. Her face was still slightly red, breathing quickly.
2.
现在我们已经重新行驶在路上了，迪安开着那辆才换好胎的红色Polo，我开着我的斯巴鲁跟着他。在他的身边坐着那位白裙的姑娘，而黑裙的那位坐到了我的旁边。她显然已经恢复了冷静和愉快的心情，道了谢，和我有一句没一句的聊天，间或微微一笑露出雪白整齐的牙齿衬着脸颊上浅褐色的雀斑。
Then we were back on the freeway, Dean drove the red Polo whose tire had been changed, I drove my Subaru behind him. Beside him sat the girl in white skirt, while the one in black skirt sat next to me. She had obviously regained her cool and happy mood, she thanked me and chatted with me once in a while, occasionally smiling faintly with her white and regular teeth, which compared to her light brown freckles on her cheeks.
暮色渐临时，我们到达了日照，海边的一幢孤零零的2层楼房子。白色墙壁斑白剥落，院子里有几颗参天大树，其他各处杂草丛生。冷冷的泳池上里水很清，但有很多枯黄的叶子落在水里，中央飘着一只粉色的充气独角兽，气应该夏天以后就没有再充过，它的头和角微微耷拉着。
As dusk went on, we arrived at a lonely 2-storey house on the beach in Rizhao. The grizzled walls spalling, few trees and weeds springing up anywhere in the yard. The water was very clear with much withered leaves floating in the cold pool. And there was a pink inflatable unicorn in the center, which seemed have not been blew after summer with its head and horns slightly drooping.
房间里几乎没有什么家具，一张长长的沙发，地上扔着一些散乱的垫子。
There was little furniture other than a long sofa and some scattered mats on the floor in the room.
“还好遇到你们，否则守着那辆爆胎的车，我们今天就回不来了。”白裙女孩大叫着，急切地打开冰箱：“累死了！我要喝啤酒！我要喝啤酒！”样子又可笑又可爱。
"Well, we met you, or we wouldn't come back today within the car."" The white skirt shouted, and eagerly opened the refrigerator, "I’m dog- tired! I'm gonna drink some beer! I'm gonna drink some beer!" she was funny and cute.
大家围坐在客厅里喝着冰凉的啤酒，迪安走去厨房，把头探入冰箱，看着里面喃喃地说着，“还有什么可吃呢？”我们都无动于衷，摊在地上沙发上一动不动，除了间或把啤酒送到嘴边。
Dean went to the kitchen when we were sitting in the living room, drinking cold beer , he looked into the refrigerator and murmured, "anything else to eat?"" We were all indifferent and sprawled on the sofa, except drinking beer once in a while.
我也起身去打开了音响，音乐刹那间充满房间，那是舒伯特的《死神与少女》。
I got up and opened the sound, and the music filled the room instantly, Schubert's death and the maiden.
没过几分钟迪安捧着一堆吃的走出厨房，蘑菇炒蛋，蟹肉色拉里加了一些醋腌海藻，烟熏三文鱼配了些切片番茄上面还撒上了橄榄油，微波炉热烫的速冻肉丸子，上面浇上了番茄沙司和西芹叶的碎末。大家一下子都兴奋地坐了起来。
A few minutes later, Dean went out of the kitchen holding a pile of food, mushroom scrambled eggs, crab salad with some vinegar marinated seaweed, smoked salmon with sliced tomatoes topped with olive oil, microwave-heated quick-frozen meatballs topped with tomato sauce and chopped celery leaves. All of a sudden, we sat up excitedly.
“你可真有本事，突然就能用冰箱里杂七杂八的东西做出一桌美食。这才是真正的大厨呢！” 白裙夸赞道。
"You are really great! You are capable of making a table of delicious food in a in one second. chef!" The white dress praised.
黑裙举起杯说，“让我们为今天相遇干杯，可好？”大家纷纷举起杯，一口喝干，随即又倒满，再被喝干，再倒满了。这个动作不知重复了多少遍。
The black dress lifted the cup and said, "toast for meeting today?" We had lifted the cup and drained, then refilled, repeatedly.
“你觉得死到底是怎样一种东西？”黑裙看着迪安问？
"What do you think of death?"" The black skirt looked at Dean “
就是什么都感觉不到了吧。绝对的虚无？”迪安答道，“怎么想到问这个。”
"You can't feel anything.". Absolute nothing?" Dean replied, "why?".
“我原来也这么想，但去年冬天我遇到我们老家的那个神婆以后，我就开始相信前世和轮回了。” 黑裙说到。
"I thought so, but I began to believe in the past life and reincarnation when I met the witch in my hometown last winter ." Black skirt said.
“你呢，你信不信这些？”她转过头问我。
"What about you, don't you believe it?"" She turned to me.
“我是完全不信，但你说说，你是怎么开始相信前世和轮回的？
” I don't believe it at all, but please tell me, how did you begin to believe that?"
黑裙咕嘟吞了口啤酒，开始往下说，“那个神婆和我家很熟，她过年时遇到我就说我可能有第三只眼能看到自己的前世，她就拉着我给我看，没想到我真的看到了很多很多像梦一样的东西，其中有一个特别奇怪，我在一个宫里，人们称我为贵妃，我清楚的记得那些宫里的事情，皇帝的长相，尊号道光，还记得自己最后躺在某一间屋子里吸一种烟，然后就感觉魂灵出窍慢慢死去的....”
The black dress swallowed beer and started to say, "the witch are familiar with my families , she told me that I might have a third eye to see my past life when she met me this new year, and then she took me to see , I did see things like dreams, in which I was known as an imperial concubinein in a palace, and I remembered things there, such as the emperor's appearance, whose title was Dao Guang, and I also remembered myself smoking when lying in a room, and then I felt my soul out of the orifices and died slowly.”
“应该是心理作用，只是类似一个梦吧？”迪安说着。
"It could be psychosomatic just like a dream?"" Dean said. “你们别急，继续听我说呀。”黑裙说。 "don't hurry, listen to me." Black skirt continued.
“但有趣的是，我从来不关心历史，在这之前我连道光皇帝的名字都没听说，也不知道那时候鸦片已经传入了我国。”
"The funny thing was that I never cared about history. I didn't even know the name of the emperor and that the opium had been introduced into china either before that."
“更有意思的是，今年我第一次去了北京，去参观了故宫，无意中看到了一个叫全妃的前贵妃的寝宫，这寝宫和我那次在脑子里看到的一摸一样。”黑裙接着说道。
The more interesting thing is that I went to Beijing to visit the the Imperial Palace for the first time this year, and I saw a mausoleum of a former imperial concubine named QUAN, which was the same as I saw in my head before." The black skirt went on.
“反正这之后，我就相信来世了，也就相信轮回了。那个神婆说，我也有能力引导别人看到前世，但前提是，那个人自己要有第三只眼。不过我试了几次，一直没成功过。”
"Anyway, after that, I believed there’re the eternity and reincarnation. The witch said, "I also have the ability to guide people to see their past life, but the premise is that the person himself has a third eye.". But I failed several times."
“要不给我试试吧？”我笑着问道，显然还是没把这真的当回事。
"Why don't you have a try on me?"" I smiled. Obviously, I didn't take it seriously.
没想到黑裙爽气地答应了，我在他的指挥下躺在了地上，她躺在我的边上，和我双手相握，然后她随着她的指令一会儿想东一会儿想西。
The black dress agreed right away, then I lay down on the ground to her command. She lay down next to me and shook hands with me. Then I followed her instructions and thought for a while.
“现在你什么也不要想，脑子保持绝对的空白。”突然她命令道。
"Now,keep your mind absolutely empty." Suddenly she ordered.
我努力停止思考，竭力不去想任何事，也就那么几秒，完全出乎意料的，我一下子就看见了！
I tried to stop thinking, in seconds, I saw it all at once completely unexpected!
和一般人猜想的不同，你并不是一种在梦里或在虚拟世界的感觉，我仍然可以清楚地感觉自己周围的环境，边上黑裙的手和体温，和她温柔的呼吸，甚至不远处海的声音，但同时我仿佛能看到另一个世界......
It felt different with what we generally guess. You are not in a dream or virtual world. I still can clearly feel about the surroundings, hands and body temperature of the black dress, and her gentle breath, even the sound of the sea not far away, but I can also see another world.
在那个世界里，第一个画面，我边上有着一个光彩照人的长发女人，穿着白色的婚纱，看着我，等我吻她.... 我的妻子吗？好美的女人啊。
From the first picture in that world, there was a shining long haired woman next to me in a white wedding dress, looking at me and waiting for me to kiss her... Is she my wife? What a beautiful woman.
第二个画面，转眼间我似乎置身于另一个城市，在一个酒吧的台球桌前遇到了另一个女人，她穿着个牛仔短裤，松散的短发，妆也没画，脸色有着少许俏皮的雀斑，她冲着我走来说，“嘿，你敢和我打台球吗？” 打球时紧绷的牛仔短裤，细细的腰一直在我眼前晃....
In the second picture, I was in another city in a flash, I met another woman near the billiard table in a bar , she was wearing a pair of denim shorts, loose hair without makeup, and with cute freckles on cheek, she walked to me, "Hey,dare to play billiards with me?" tight jeans and slim waist has been dangling in front of my eyes when we were playing billiards.
再后来的画面开始散乱无序，我画画，满屋的画，抽象派，表现主义的画，里面有悲伤，有嫉妒，有愤怒，更多的是恐惧....我一会儿和美丽大方的长发女子一起晚餐，看电影，喝咖啡，一会儿，我和直率机灵的短发女子开着机车在午夜奔驰，喝着冰凉的啤酒.... 最奇怪的是，有一个画面，我看到自己和两个女人同时躺在床上，呆呆地看着天花板.....
Then the picture became disorder, I was painting, Abstract and expressionist paintings full of the house, in which some were sadness, jealousy, anger, more of fear. And I had dinner, watched movies, drank coffee with the long haired woman for a while, and I drove a motorcycle at midnight, drinking cold beer with short hair. The strangest thing is that there was a picture, in which I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the two women.
头一阵痛，突然这些画面消失了，我猛地坐了起来，额头上都是汗。
I had a short headache and suddenly the pictures disappeared, and I sat up jumply with a sweaty forehead.
迪安嬉皮笑脸地看着我问：“看到什么了？是不是变成一只蜗牛啊？”
Dean cheekily looked at me and asked: "what did you see? Have you turned into a snail?"
我赶忙吧刚刚看到的东西尽力地说出来，自己都无法相信，能记得那么清晰。
I hastly told them what I saw as well as I can, and I can't believe that I didn’t miss a word.
大家都听的好仔细，满屋子一点声音都没有，都怕打断了我仿佛我就会忘记什么，迪安的脸都白了，我从来没看到他的脸那么白过。
Everybody listened carefully and silently tin case that I'd forgotten something if they would interrupt. Dean became so pale that I never saw before.
讲完以后，大家还是不出声，各自低着头...
After I finished, they were still silent, with heads down.
我终于忍不住问迪安道：“你怎么了，脸色那么差？”
I couldn’ t help asking Dean, "have a problem?"
迪安冷冷地回答道，“你看到的不是前世，你看到的是.......”
Dean replied coldly, "what you saw is not your past life".
3.
迪安冷冷地回答道，“你看到的不是前世，你看到的是我，那是我大概十年以前的事情，我的妻子H，和我后来的女朋友B...我们确实是在酒吧打台球时认识的....”
Dean coldly replied, "what you saw is when it was about ten years ago, my wife H, and my girlfriend B afterwards, and we did know each other when playing billiards at a bar."
“三人同床这段也是真实的，可惜不是你们想的那样，那时候已经离婚了，但为了房子的事情还是吵得不可开交，有一次大家都不愿意离开，就都躺在床上示威，居然也这样过了一夜....”
"The bed thing is also true, but it’s not like what you saw,at that time, My wife and I had divorced already, but quarreling on the house. we were not willing to leave once, so we three just spent one night lying in bed for demonstration ."
看着迪安，我简直不敢相信，我的第三只眼没有把我带到自己的前世而是去了迪安的十年前....
Looking at Dean, I couldn't believe that my third eye didn't take me to my past life, but Dean’s past ten years ago.
突然白裙叫道：“我们去MYNT吧！”
Suddenly, the white skirt shouted, "let's go to MYNT."!"
我们四个人挤在Polo里，行驶在一条拥挤的小路上，借着坡度，可以看得到那些历经风雨的建筑坐落在海边。午夜的海边不仅没有寂寥的感觉，反而是人流如织。
The four of us crowded in the Polo, driving on a crowded path, we could see the buildings that had gone through storms located on the beach by the slope. The sea didn’t feel lonely, crowded at midnight.
不一会儿，到了，黑裙女孩熟门熟路地把我们带入了一个大楼的三楼，按了电梯的“3，MYNT”。
We arrived after a while, the black skirt easily took us into a building, pressed the 3 in the elevator, "MYNT,at the third floor ".
门打开，这是一个两面临海的酒吧，充满着Hip Hop 音乐，嘈杂的说话声，酒精，烟草，各类香水和荷尔蒙的味道。舞池里站满了时髦的男人女人，我也自鸣得意起来，彷佛自己也是其中的一个。
The door opened, a bar with both sides facing the sea, Hip Hop music, noisy talk, alcohol, tobacco, all kinds of perfumes and hormones in the air. The dancing floor was full of fashionable men and women, and I was complacent, as if I were one of them.
威士忌和苏打水来了，大家大口大口地喝着。Jamson威士忌，辛辣，喝起来很够味。女人们不知道何时已经画上了浓浓的妆，白裙女孩朝周围张望着，目光偶尔扫过我，但只是稍作停留就立即移开，黑裙女孩则眯着眼，显出一脸成熟的样子，不停地打量我。我们在舞池里费力地扭动着，大家不停地碰撞着，女人们不时摇晃着投入男人们的怀里，迪安随着音乐帅气地挥着手，刚才的惊愕一扫而光。
Whiskey and soda were served, and everybody quaffed. Jamson whiskey was spicy and tasted great. Women with makeup, white skirt looked around, occasionally swept over me, but just removed immediately. Black skirt was squinting, with a mature face, constantly gazed at me. We were twisting hardly and colliding with others , women shaking into men's arms from time to time. Dean waved cool to the music ,without any consternation.
“啪！” 突然大家脸上都被红色的光照亮了，海滩上升起了焰火。大家都兴奋地下楼走到一个平台上。 一簇簇的烟火升到空中，仿佛像调了慢动作一样，缓缓地绽放。
"Bang!" Suddenly, all the faces were illuminated by the red light, fireworks rising above the beach. Everyone was excited to walk down the stairs to a platform. A cluster of fireworks rose into the air, like the slow motion, slowly blooming.
海边，有一对恋人紧紧地依偎着，男生粗壮的臂膀温柔地搂着女生的肩。
At the seaside, a pair of lovers snuggled close to each other. his strong arms gently crossed the girl. “
恋爱的感觉真好。”白裙的声音冲破我的耳膜 "
It feels good to be in love."." the white skirt shouted to my ear.
“烟火在空中的感觉也真好。”我也吼着说。“但总要消失。”我又接上一句。
The fireworks feels good in the air." I yelled. "But it would gone anyway." I continued.
爱对了，就好像永远站在这烟火里一样。”她在我身边这样说着，但我却看不到她的眼神。
"It feels indulged in fireworks for ever when it’s the right person."." She said this to me, but I couldn't see her eyes.
“并没有这样的事情，就好像没有凝固的烟火。”迪安在这点上倒是和我很一致。
"There's no such thing. Just like no caky fireworks." Dean agrees with me on that .
“我给你算一下玛雅星盘吧，你觉得怎样？”白裙女孩望着我眼睛问到。
"I'll tell you your fortune by Maya astrolabe. What do you think?" The white skirt looked at me and asked.
“玛雅？就是预言2012世界毁灭的那个玛雅？”迪安疑惑地问到。
Maya? Is that Maya who predicted the destruction of the world in 2012 ?" Dean asked doubtedly.
“就知道你会这样问，世界毁灭是人们在网上以讹传讹的版本啦，玛雅大巫师可比这个高多了。”白裙娓娓道来，“玛雅人预言的毁灭是人类过去基于情感的文明在2012年的冬至毁灭。而新的文明诞生，是超乎情感的，更接近神的精神世界的诞生。”
“I knew you would ask, the world destruction was just a rumor online, Maya is much better than that." The white dress said slowly, "and The Mayan prophecy of destruction was the destruction of human emotional civilization in the winter solstice of 2012. And the birth of a new civilization was beyond emotion and closer to the birth of the spiritual world of God.."
“换句话说，不是物质世界的毁灭而是感情世界的毁灭。”黑裙也若有所思。
“In other words, it was not the destruction of the material world, but the destruction of the emotional world." The black skirt was also thoughtful.
“你看看我们现在，再想想2012年之后我们变了多少？你不再说那么多话，你喜欢一个人思考，和陌生人在微信交流，而不是约三五好友高谈阔论？”白裙的她继续说着。
"Look at us now, and think about how we've changed since 2012? You don't talk much anymore, and you’d rather think alone or chat with strangers on WeChat, rather than talk with several friends?" She continued.
迪安仿佛被触动了，“情感的世界，所谓情感，也就是爱，恨，哀愁，期待，愤怒这些东西吧.... 而精神？ 空虚， 充实， 这些算精神？”迪安边想边说着。
Dean seemed touched, "the emotional world, the so-called emotion,which is, love, hate, sadness, expectation, anger, and spirit?" Emptiness, enrichment, are these in spirit?" Dean kept saying while thinking.
“空虚？一个人呆着可以很空虚，也可以很充实。一个人或者拥着爱人，孩子，围绕着亲人，朋友，或许也还是很空虚？不是吗？”我心里突然觉得一震的感觉。“精神果然是比感情更高级的东西啊？”
"Emptiness?" be alone could be empty or substantial. A person with lover, children, surrounded by families, or friends, may be still empty, doesn't he?" Suddenly I felt shocked. "Spirit is indeed more advanced than emotion?""
“你帮我算算玛雅星盘吧”我反过来开始请求白裙。
"tell me my fortune please." I began to request the white skirt in return .
报了生日给白裙女孩后，她很快给出了答案。
She gave me answer soon after I told her my birthday date.
白裙缓缓说着：“你命运里的5个图腾是：
The white skirt slowly said, "there’re 5 totems in your destiny."
"第一，黄人，意味着自由，你的生命一直将会伴随着自由的思索，这是你的基调，也是你一生的主要追求。”
"First, the yellow man, which means freedom, your life will always be accompanied by the freedom of thinking, this is your tone, but also the main pursuit of your life."
“第二个是，白风，意味着你有交流障碍，也许是不能表达，也许是不能倾听。
” "The Second", "white wind", means you have barriers on communication, maybe you can't express it, or you can't listen."
“他确实有，你算得还真准。”迪安嬉笑着。
"He does. You're right." Dean laughing.
“蓝手这是你的长处，有着疗愈的能力。”
"Blue hand" is your strength, means that you’re capable of healing."
“红月，这对应着你的潜力，是你能控制情绪。”
"Red moon, which corresponds to your potential that you can control your emotions."
“我有吗？我有控制情绪的能力？我有这个潜力。”我听的越来越兴奋。
"Really?" I have the ability to control emotions? I have this potential." I'm getting more and more excited.
“是，星盘是这样说的。”白裙肯定地点了点头。
"Yes, that's what the astrolabe shows." The white skirt nodded definitely.
“最后一个是，高我，你的高我属性是意志力。实现了你就会变成更好的你。”
"The last one is Higher Self, and your Higher Self is willpower. And you'll be a better you once realizing."
她不容置疑地看着我。脸上露出了巫师那样的神情。我完全被震撼了，一个完全不信星座，不信神灵的我，被折服了。拿着威士忌我只知道傻傻地往嗓子里灌。
She looked at me without any doubt. She looked like a wizard. I was totally shocked, and I was overwhelmed completely although I’m a person who never believe in constellation or divinities. Holding the whiskey, I just foolishly poured it into my throat.
“意志？沟通障碍，控制力，自由？”那确确实实就是我呢。
Will? Communication barriers, control, freedom?" That's me.
"你给迪安也算一下，我想看看他是怎样的？”但白裙摇了摇头说，“不，我不想给他算。”
"Why don’t you have a try on Dean, I want to see what he's like" But the white skirt said, "no, I don't want to."
凌晨，四周依然一片漆黑，我也不记得我们怎么离开的酒吧. 来到了海边，脱了鞋，在浪边漫步。海浪泡沫冲洗着我们的脚，冰的让人发抖，每个人都摇摇晃晃的，大家都醉了吧。
It was still dark around at dawn, and I can't remember how we left the bar. We came to the beach, took off our shoes and walked around. The waves foam washing our feet, everybody shaking and drunk.
她们把衣服脱在海滩，慢慢走入水里，直到海水淹没到胸口。我目瞪口呆地看着，两具身体仿佛会自己发光那样，把周围衬出一些朦胧的亮色。那是我从没见过的最美丽的东西。
They took their clothes off the beach and walked slowly into the water till the water was up to their chests. I stared, the two bodies seemed to glow as they were, lining up with hazy bright colors, which was the most beautiful scenery I've never seen before.
“我觉得我身体里一部分已经死了！”黑裙突然叫了这样一句。她继续大喊着问我们“ 你们想到过死吗? 如果能选择的话你会怎么选择你的死亡的方式呢?”
"I think part of me is dead!" The black skirt suddenly shouted. She continued to shout and asked us, "Have you ever thought of death? How would you choose to die if you could?""
"我希望设计出自己最好的作品，在我事业的巅峰，在走上领奖台的那一刹那激动而死." 我几乎脱口而出...
"I want to design a best work of my own, and die excitedly when I'm on the medals podium at the climax of my career ," I said it without thinking.
“我希望和心爱的女人做爱，在高潮来临前一刹那，和她一起溺水而死！” 迪安答着。
"I want to make love with my beloved girl, and drown with her at the moment before the climax." Dean answered.
迪安和两个女人的说话声飘的越来越远，一阵倦意袭来，我躺在了沙滩上，依稀看到，他们纷纷在我眼前消失。
Voices of Dean and the two women was drifting farther and farther, I lay on the beach after an attack of sleepiness, vaguely watching them disappeared.
从不做梦的我做梦了！梦到了一个巨人站在中空的铁片上，巨大的手掌中，脚掌中往下掉落一只只的螃蟹。
I never dream, but this time I Dreamed of a giant standing on the hollowed iron sheet,with crabs falling from giant palms and sole.
突然仿佛有人把我突然扔到火里一般，我猛然地醒来了。头脑前所未有的清晰。 她站在我的面前！我无法确定她是哪一个，趁着海边的微光，我看见她深深望着我的眼神，微微张开的嘴，脸颊上若有若无的雀斑，实话说，我已经记不得她穿什么衣服了，好像是白色又或是黑色的丝质长裙，又好像什么也没穿，微光映在她脸颊和肩膀，皮肤反射出冰块一样的光泽，白天散发着独立和快乐的她，此刻却只有无助和温柔....
I woke up suddenly as if someone threw me into the fire. I couldn’t be more sober. She stood in front of me, but I can’t tell who was she. Taking advantage of the light near the sea, I saw the way she looked me in the eyes, with mouth slightly opening, cheeks with unclear freckles. Tell you the truth, I can't remember what she was wearing,whether in white or black silk dress, or no clothes. The light reflected in her cheeks and shoulders, reflecting the ice skin. Now only left the helpless and gentle face, other than the independent and happy one in the day.
再后来我就不记得了，只记得醒来时，已经是一个人躺在海边房子卧室的床上。
And then I can't remember. What I still remembered was I myself lying on the bed in the room near the sea when I was awake.
走出房门，简直不敢相信自己的眼睛，地上赫然躺着两个女人的尸体，一个赤裸，另一个还穿着内衣，脖子上都有很明显的紫色的勒痕。
Walking out of the door, I couldn't believe my eyes. There were two women lying on the ground, one naked, the other wearing underwear, all with obvious purple marks on neck.
迪安坐在地上，满地都是烟蒂，他茫然地抬起头, 眼睛里都是血丝, 似乎无法聚焦地样子,“这都是事故，相信我 .. 实在没办法，才杀了她们...”
Dean sat on the ground, butts everywhere. He raised his head up blankly, bloodshot eyes, which seemed to be unable to focus, " it was by accident, believe me. I have to kill them"
我也不知道为什么，看着眼前这一切，脑子完全停止了思考. 我和迪安像机械一样，把两个女人的尸体搬到Polo里，慢慢地把车开到了一处海边的悬崖，然后把车推了下去... 蓝色的海一下子就吞没了红色的汽车，就像从来没有在这个世界存在过那样, 一切都转眼消失的无影无踪....
I had no idea at all that I completely stopped thinking after seeing those. Dean and I mechanically moved the two bodies in to the Polo, and then drove slowly to a cliff, and then pushed the car down. The blue sea suddenly swallowed up the red car just like it never exist before, everything disappeared instantly.
正午, 风呼呼地在我脸颊吹过，斯巴鲁里，我边上的迪安沉默着，沉默得完全不像他了，中午的阳光把我照的头晕目眩。
By noon, the wind blew my cheek, Dean was in silence like a stranger next to me in Subaru, the sunshine made me dizzy.
迪安突然开口了,嘶哑的嗓音,伴随着灼热的风, “她叫我和她那样时掐着她脖子的，她说她想感受我说的死亡和高潮的感觉，没想到她真的没醒过来。后来另一个女人进来了，说我是故意的, 要告发我... 我突然就觉得脑子嗡的一响，就也扑过去勒住了她.” 迪安突然开口了，大太阳下的他满脸憔悴，和我的斯巴鲁很像，像是一头上了年纪的精壮豹子。
Dean suddenly started with a hoarse voice, accompanied by the scorching wind, "she told me to pinch her neck like that," she said she wanted to feel the way I said. I never thought she wouldn’t make it through. Later another woman came in and said I was intentional to kill her and was going to report me. I felt like hum in brain , and rushed to get her reined. "he looked haggard just like my Subaru, an aged strong leopard.
迪安把车在山路停下，下车来到山崖边解手。他刚解完,转过身, 我就冲上前去, 狠狠地推了他一把，迪安也不说话，一拳朝我打来，我扭头躲开,下意识挥拳打在他的胃部,他转而在我下巴上给了我一记重拳，我耳边立即响起嗡嗡声, 当即跪了下来。我咬牙从地上站起来, 又被他一拳打倒, 再站起来, 又是一拳, 如此反复了十多次, 当我再挺立到他面前时,他已经筋疲力尽气喘吁吁了。
Dean stopped the car on the mountain road, and went to pee near the cliff. I rushed forward and gave him a push when he finished and turned. Dean didn’t say a word and a fist came to me, I turned away and to punch him in the stomach subconsciously, then he turned and gave me a punch on my chin. I kneeled down right away with hum in my head. I stood up from the ground, knocked him down, stood up, and then punched again, repeated more than 10 times. and at last he was Exhaustedly panting when I stood still in front of him.
我像疯子似的瞪着他说:"现在,该我了。"
I stared at him like a mad and said, "now, it's my turn.".
" 我一记左刺拳挥出, 他下意识地侧头避闪，并立即用他的右勾拳猛地给了我一下,但这次我忍住了,我忍住这超人的痛苦又用我的右拳打出了一个摆拳在他下巴, 然后左手一记下钩, 闪到左边左手再虚晃了一次, 然后右手打了十分力量的一个重拳. 迪安已经完全呆滞了, 这下结结实实地打在他的面门. 突然他好像踩到了什么，人忽然打了个转，踉跄着, 手挥舞着, 掉下了深深的悬崖......
As soon as I switched my left jab, he turned aside unconsciously and gave me a quick punch with his right hook, but this time I tolerated the pain and punched him on the chin with my right fist. Then my left hand ducked to the left and shook it again. Then I used my right fist hit him damn hard. Dean was completely dull while I hit him hard on the face. All of a sudden, he seemed to have stepped on something, and suddenly turned, staggered and waved, then fell off a deep cliff.
"天哪，我杀了他。" 我走上前去，看到了地上那个瓷像，那个斗牛士和公牛的瓷像，迪安显然是踩到了它...
"Oh God, I killed him. "I went up and saw the vitrotype on the ground, the matador and the bull, it ‘s apparently stepped by Dean.
我脑子一片空白，心里倒也不觉得害怕，只是提醒自己，快逃吧。随即跳上车,飞快地往前开着。
I was blank in head without any fear. And I just reminded myself to get out of here. Then I jumped into the car and sped forward.
没开多久, 突然前面闪出了一部警车, 拦在路中间， “应该无处可逃了, 还是停下吧. ”
Suddenly there flashed a police car in front of me, and then it stopped in the middle of the road, "nowhere to go, just stop".
无奈地把车停在了路边. 警车上先下来两个警察, 然后是一个穿白大褂的面无表情的医生, 还有就是她,细长的眉眼, 微翘的鼻子, 鼻子边微微有些雀斑.
I had to park the car on roadside. Two policemen got off first, then came out a doctor with poker face in a white coat, there was then a girl with slender eyebrows , slightly curled nose, surrounded with slightly freckles.
她微笑着对我说: "结束了, 别担心, 我是来接你回家的."
She smiled at me and said, "Don't worry,It's over. I am here to pick you home."
我绝望地对她说: "我回不了家了...我杀了人，我把迪安打下了悬崖...迪安杀了两个女孩。”
I replied her desperately, "I can't go home. I killed someone. I pushed Dean out of the cliff. Dean killed two girls."
她走上来,一把搂住我脖子, 轻轻地告诉我:
She came up and crossed my neck and told me softly:
"亲爱的，并没有什么迪安, 这是你想象出来的, 放松，放松就好，你最近工作太紧张了，所以精神出了点问题。
"Honey, nothing happened, Dean. That's just your illusion, relax, relax. You've been working too hard lately, so there's something wrong with your mind.
“你也没有杀人,女巫也好，算命也好, 都是我和医生给你安排的, 为了给你治病. 现在你的病好了,可以回家了。”
"You did not kill anybody, either witch or fortune telling, all were arranged by the doctor and me in order to give you treatment. Now you are all right, you can go home."
我沮丧地对她,还有警察和所有人说, "把我带走吧,我杀了迪安, 就在背后不远处的悬崖上。"
I said to her and the police desperately, "take me away, I killed Dean, on the cliff not far from behind."
然后我执意要求所有人一起去悬崖下看迪安的尸体, 大家来到了悬崖下，一帮人陪着我找来找去，没有尸体，没有迪安，没有任何人掉下悬崖的痕迹，所有的草木也确实完好无损。
Then I insisted to ask them all to go to see Dean's corpse down the cliff, we came down, people accompanied me looking, no body, no Dean, no one fell off the cliff, all vegetation around the cliff are intact.
但他明明在这里坠下来还不到半小时啊。”我摸着自己的下巴, 迪安击中的地方到现在还在痛. 她走过来,抚摸着我，温柔地对我说:"现在你知道了吧,并没有迪安吧?" 话毕,她给医生使了个颜色, 我呆若木鸡地任医生把一针什么东西打到了我的体内, 很快一种人类抵御不了昏晕就把我击倒。
"But it's less than half an hour since he fell off." I touched my chin, the place where hit by Dean is still in pain. She came and touched me, gently said to me: "now you know, and there is no Dean?" then she gave a hint to the doctor with her eyes, the doctor injected something into me, and soon a feeling of fainting which no human being can resist put me down.
再醒来的时候, 我在自己纽约家里的床上, 我也不知道睡了多久，阳光一直从窗口晒到床前。我觉得头脑异常清晰, 摸了摸脸和下巴,被打过的地方还是隐隐作痛. 她端着早饭来到我身边,笑着说,"你醒来了哦,吃早饭吧. 那些奇奇怪怪的想法都从脑子里出去了吧?"
When I woke up, I was in the bed of my own home in New York, and I didn't know how long I slept for with sunshine from the window to my bed. My mind couldn’t be more clear, I touched my face and chin, where were still aching. She served breakfast to me, smiled and said, " you awake, eat some breakfast. Forget those weird thoughts?"
“嗯，都好了。”我微笑着，我可没敢告诉她, 我心里其实还想着我杀了迪安的事。我笑着点点头,拿起橙汁,喝了几大口. 她也笑了,显得很俏皮地样子, 但我看得出她的疲惫，她说: "我去给你倒杯咖啡哦."
"Well, I’m all right." I smiled but I didn't dare to tell her, and I was actually still thinking about Dean. I smiled and nodded, picked up the orange juice, drank a lot, and she laughed wittily, but I knew she was sleepy. she said, "I'll get you a cup of coffee."
我站起身，开始欣赏床对面的那幅抽象派的油画，那幅画上画着一个女子，虎牙，脸上微微的雀斑，面露悲哀的神情，画上的署名 ------ 迪安.
I stood up and began to enjoy the abstract painting on the opposite side of the bed, the painting of a woman with a mouth of tiger teeth, little freckles on the cheek, looked sad, on which the signature was Dean.
终
The end
附：迪安的画我无从下手，只好以马德里索非亚博物馆这幅毕加索的作品暂代...
后记 我的隐喻是什么
玛雅历法
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玛雅预言 世界毁灭