Recently, the “Youth Speak”of Hunan TV is very popular, where teenagers go to the ‘stage’ to express and release themselves. Speak to parents, speak to teachers, speak to classmates……The young faces, telling their thoughts, aspirations, attitudes……To pay gratitude, to express emotion, to demonstrate inspiration……One of the most impressive speakings is a boy’s ‘appeal’. He is busy with studies since the middle school, but his mother requires him to do lots of housework, which is beyond his perception, so he ‘appeals’ to release.
Do not like most of the parents who dote on children and put priority on their study while ignoring life skills, Fu’s mother pushes him to undertake housework everyday. Fu said he is very busy since the beginning of middle school and hopes mother can understand that he desires to spend more time on study. Everyday, after school work, he has to wash dishes, sometimes needs to learn how to cook, which is rather toilsome. Unfortunately, he failed to make mother compromise despite several begging. This time, he would like to give a dying kicks to take advantage of the opportunity when audiences might able to help. However, reality isunsatisfactory, he failed again. What is worse, he has been told that underpants and socks are to be washed everyday afterwards. He was too dead to cry.
Fu does not understand his mother, nor do us audience. The truth is, Fu’s father is a man who undertakes housework actively, which made his mother accepted him. Mother put forward that responsible men are those who are able to do housework, who undertake housework actively. To learn how to do housework, will not have negative influence on school work, but will improve children’s sense of responsibility, sense of independence, will enhance their academic ability, and finally facilitate their capability to create happy life. A responsible man will bring happiness to both his partner and himself. Mother hopes Fu to lead to a happy life.
How rational mother! How judicious mother-in-law. A majority of net friends sigh that how harmonious and delight life would be to have such a reasonable mother-in-law.
In stark contrast, there is a popular story about “Yuchen Zhu’s mother speaking”, discussing a mother’s opinion which is totally different from above and which is rather unbelievable. Zhu’s mother wakes up at four early in the morning every day to prepare the pear juice in order to keep Zhu in good health. She sets strict timetable for son’s mealtime. She takes care of son’s daily life even he is 39 years old! She accompanies when he works, she interferes with his relationship. She cares him with whole-heart and even requires the future daughter-in-law to do as she does. Daughter-in-law should give up her job to spend all the time on the family, on taking care of her husband and children. Zhu’s mother does not know and refuses to admit that she controls her son. Her love is abnormal which will merely bring bound and oppression to her son. She will not able to bring up a true man, but to create a giant baby. Today, her son is 39 years old but is still single. Certainty, girls will be afraid to step forward facing such requirement.
Such control mode love with whole-heart effort, will only make children to become Mama’s boy who has no own judgement to anything, who is irresponsible, who may even lack of life skill.
There is an overseas returnee who is a postgraduate student from a famous university. He is almost 50, presumably, he is elite and has successful career. However, although he was such excellent, he fixates on his old mother. His mother is 82 years old with terminal disease who is unable to take care of him, but he refuses to work and give up internet games whatever method she takes, persuade, push, or even appeal. What is worse, he blames his mother for dealing everything and spoiling him in his childhood, which is the only reason for his current situation. What a tragedy. Hovering over everything, making every decisions, resulting in mama’s boy or giant baby who stop to grow up mentally, remaining in the stage when open mouth food comes, stretch hands desires meet. It is said that everything is for the good of children, actually, it will merely hurt them, ruin them. Such as wild geese, if parents worry aboutbaby geese’s suffering and afraid to let them go, then young geese will never able to fly.
All the kinship means seperation. From the birth of the child, parents are destined to distancing from their children, watching them to grow up and to go away. Parents need to help and accompany children to grow up both mentally and physically, to encourage them to pursuit dreams and to step forward independently, to foster their sense of responsibility, to teach them to be responsible for the choices and life they make. It is the last thing that parents should do is to do everything or interfere with anything for children.
Although love deeply, one has to let them go; although fill with tears, one has to stop chasing. Watch silently and guard silently.