Everything I never told you 06.08

Words and expressions

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1.

Their father looked suddenly at the ceiling, as if Nath had pointed out a bug and he wanted to find it before it ran away.  Lydia's eyes went hot, as if she were staring into the oven. Nath, remorseful, prodded his sandwich with his knuckle, squeezing peanut butter onto the tablecloth, but their father didn't notice.

Nath问到爸爸，妈妈回来的日期indefinitely是什么意思，爸爸眼睛一下子看向了天花板，好像Nath指了一个虫子，他想在它逃走之前找到它一样。Lydia的眼睛则变得滚烫，像盯着一个通红的炉子一样。

我们都知道，眼睛使劲向上看是为了不让眼泪掉下来。而眼泪喷涌而出的一瞬间，眼眶发热。看到爸爸和妹妹的反应，Nath意识到自己这个问题多不恰当，他自责地（remorseful）将悔恨转移到三明治身上去，用手指关节去戳三明治。（prod his sandwich）

仿句：On seeing the photo slouched against the wall, her eyes went hot. Before her child, she needed to pretend being strong so she looked hard at the ceiling to prevent tears from dribbling down.

2.

Their mother's absence gnawed at them quietly, a dull and spreading hurt.

gnaw: to keep biting something hard

gnaw at somebody: to make someone feel worried or frightened, over a period of time

母亲的离去慢慢地折磨着他们，沉缓又不断持续的伤痛。gnaw在这里表达出了持续，不断的意味，让他们的痛苦变得更加漫长。还有要注意的是单词的发音，g不发音，音标是/nɔː /

仿句：Guilt gnawing his conscience, he can't even look into hers eyes.

3.

Nath stayed put.

stay put在这里是个口语化的表达：to remain in one place and not move

Thoughts

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Marilyn的离去对Nath和Lydia带来了什么影响呢？

Mothers who disappeared, fathers who didn't love you, kids who mocked you--everything would shrink to pinpoints and vanish. Up there: nothing but stars.

Nath对宇航员对太空开始了疯狂的痴迷，火箭发射，太空舱，重力，这些需要眼神投向外太空，心思不再困于地球上的事物给了他极度的安慰，填补了他心里母亲的空缺。

他似乎过早就明白，母亲的离去，父亲的消沉，他无能为力，他需要将心思放到其他事情上去，他需要在自己日日安静的家里创造一个自己的世界。

而Lydia呢？五岁的时候正是最需要父母陪伴的时候。

What mother doesn't love to cook with her little girl?                                         

And what little girl doesn't love learning with Mom?

她将母亲的离去归咎于自己，是自己表现不好妈妈才会离开。她暗暗下了决心要想尽办法让妈妈开心，妈妈叫她做什么她就做什么，她再也承受不起妈妈的再一次离去了。

而Marilyn回来原因的谜题也解开了。很简单，她怀孕了。她不能再继续读书了，未来读完医学院穿上白大褂的那个女医生不会再是她了。回到家，看到丢掉cookbook误以为有和她一样抱负的Lydia，Marilyn也同样暗下了一个决心，她要想尽办法培养Lydia，发展她一切才能，像培养一朵冠军玫瑰。看到这里，更能理解前文中Marilyn在慢慢揭开女儿真实模样的巨大落差和知道真相的震惊了。