为方便家长们学到最原汁原味的正面管教知识，我从国外找来一些正面管教资料。以下为正面管教英文站的译文（注：本人英文水平有限，以下内容是谷歌在线直译得来的，欢迎英语水平好的家长校正，我只是知识里的搬运工），更多详细的内容可以参考早期学习正面管教网友分享的正面管教揭密内容。
为人父母大概是这个世界上最难的工作。
Parenting is probably the hardest job in the world.
如果有一招能横扫天下，那它一定就是正面管教。
If there is a way to sweep the world, it must be positive discipline.
《正面管教》是一本关于指导父母如何胜任这份工作武林秘籍。当我们和善而坚定地，既不娇纵也不惩罚地使用正面管教，会发现它能帮助我们解决生活中的大部分难题，能够帮助我们培养出想要让孩子拥有的品格和技能，能够让父母们更为从容更为自信，也能够帮助子女更快乐的成长，实现一个双赢的局面。
"Positive Discipline" is a book about how to guide parents to be competent for this job. When we use positive discipline kindly and firmly, without indulgence or punishment, we will find that it can help us solve most of the problems in life, help us develop the character and skills that we want our children to possess, make parents more calm and confident, and help children grow happier and achieve a win-win situation.
《正面管教》的作者简·尼尔森是7个孩子的母亲，18个孩子的奶奶或外祖母。她的小女儿玛丽深受正面管教的影响，如今也从事着和母亲一样的工作。简·尼尔森虽然如今已经80多岁了，但是她仍然活跃在各个舞台上。有意思的是，简·尼尔森并非一开始就创建和实施正面管教的，而是她的第五个孩子出生之后，她的大儿子泰雷尔14岁那年才开始的。那一年，泰雷尔由于好奇在自己家院子里种植大麻，当时的简·尼尔森并不知道要如何处理，说了很多难听的话伤害了泰雷尔。泰雷尔一气之下离家出走，搭车游遍了美国并找了一份工作，不再回家。母子关系极度恶劣。正是这件事促使她重新审视自己，自己和儿子的关系，碰巧当时正在接触阿德勒和德雷克斯的个体心理学理论，于是，她结合自己的亲身经历和实际经验创建了正面管教的理念。
Jane Nelson, author of Positive Discipline, is the mother of seven children and the grandmother or grandmother of eighteen children. Her youngest daughter, Mary, was deeply influenced by positive discipline and now works as a mother. Although Jane Nelson is now over 80, she is still active on various stages. Interestingly, Jane Nelson did not create and enforce positive discipline from the very beginning, but began when her eldest son, Terrell, was 14 years old after the birth of her fifth child. That year, Tyrell was curious about growing marijuana in his yard. Jane Nelson didn't know what to do with it, and said many ugly words to hurt Tyrell. Terrell left home in a fit of pique, hitchhiked all over the United States, found a job, and never returned home. The mother-child relationship is extremely bad. It was this that prompted her to re-examine herself, her relationship with her son, which happened to be in contact with Adler and Drakes'theory of individual psychology, so she combined her own experience and practical experience to create the concept of positive discipline.
那么我们先来看看，到底什么才是正面管教？
So let's first look at what positive discipline is.
一、什么是正面管教？
First, what is positive discipline?
简·尼尔森根据阿德勒的个体心理学创建了正面管教。阿德勒是谁呢？阿德勒和弗洛伊德、容格并称为心理学的三大巨头。阿德勒一开始和弗洛伊德一起共事，后来两人因为观点有分歧而分开了。简·尼尔森提出的《正面管教》核心观点就是每个人（大人和孩子）都在寻求安全感、价值感和归属感，所以大人的主要职责就是帮助孩子找到这个核心，帮助他们建立这样的信念—我是有所归属的，有能力的并且能够做出有意义的贡献。
Jane Nelson created positive discipline based on Adler's individual psychology. Who is Adler? Adler, Freud and Jung are the three giants of psychology. Adler first worked with Freud, but later they split up because of differences of opinion. The core idea of Jane Nelson's Positive Discipline is that everyone (adults and children) is looking for a sense of security, value and belonging, so the main responsibility of adults is to help children find this core and help them build such a belief that I belong, have the ability and can make meaningful contributions.
我们每个人都是社会人，都会受到我们所生活的环境的影响，孩子也不例外。每个孩子的首要目的都是为了实现价值感和归属感，所以透过孩子的种种行为，我们父母要找到孩子行为背后真正的目的—为了寻求关注？寻求权利？反叛？自暴自弃？或者兼有之？只有找到行为背后真正的目的才能从根源上解决问题。
Everyone of us is a social person, and will be affected by the environment in which we live, and children are no exception. Every child's primary goal is to achieve a sense of value and belonging, so through all kinds of children's behavior, our parents need to find the real purpose behind their children's behavior - in order to seek attention? Seeking rights? Rebel? Be backward and have no urge to make progress? Or both? Only by finding the real purpose behind the behavior can we solve the problem from the root.
孩子所有哭闹的行为背后其实都是价值感和归属感的缺失，为人父母应该去帮助孩子重新寻回价值感和归属感。不是通过惩罚，不是通过羞辱，也不是娇纵来处理孩子的种种行为，而是情绪温和，态度坚定地在尊重和合作的基础上实施正面管教，以此培养出一个具有各种美好品格的孩子。
Behind all the children's crying behavior is a lack of sense of value and belonging. Parents should help their children regain their sense of value and belonging. Not by punishment, not by humiliation, nor by pampering to deal with all kinds of children's behavior, but by gentle mood, firm attitude and on the basis of respect and cooperation to implement positive discipline, in order to cultivate a child with all kinds of good character.
二、为什么要使用正面管教？
Second, why should positive discipline be used?
从长远来看，使用正面管教的方法不以损伤孩子的自尊心和自信心为代价就能让家长和孩子愉快的解决争端，矛盾，问题，彼此成长，并终身受益。
In the long run, parents and children can happily resolve disputes, contradictions, problems, grow up with each other, and benefit from each other for life, without damaging their children's self-esteem and self-confidence.
1、惩罚
1, punishment
惩罚也许是所有方法里最容易—不需要用脑，下意识的反应，也是见效最快的方法，父母们通常无需学习就能够熟练掌握惩罚。但是它并不能从根源上解决问题，而是暂时以压制性的手段让孩子屈服，也许当下孩子被制服了，但是它埋下了一些隐患—新一轮的报复，反叛，自暴自弃，愤恨，自卑，退缩。没有谁喜欢惩罚，惩罚是对人极大的不尊重。惩罚只是帮助我们“赢了”孩子，孩子在我们的控制、惩罚手段中屈服，孩子成为一个失败者，这并非我们所愿，我们更愿意“赢得”孩子，获得孩子心甘情愿的合作。
Punishment may be the easiest of all methods - no brain, no subconscious response, and the fastest way to get results. Parents usually master punishment without learning. But it can not solve the problem from the root, but temporarily subjugate the child by repressive means. Perhaps the child is subdued now, but it has buried some hidden dangers - a new round of revenge, rebellion, self-abandonment, resentment, inferiority, retreat. No one likes punishment. Punishment is a great disrespect for people. Punishment only helps us "win" children. Children give in to our control and punishment. Children become a loser. This is not what we want. We prefer to "win" children and get their willing cooperation.
2、娇纵
2, indulge
一味地迁就孩子，只会让她们成长为以自我为中心的“巨婴”。他们从小就深谙操纵自己父母逼父母就范的各种手段。娇纵也是在教孩子不负责，剥夺他们的责任感，形成不健康的互相依赖。
To accommodate children blindly will only make them grow into self-centered "giant babies". From childhood, they have been familiar with various means of manipulating their parents to force their parents to conform. Pampering also teaches children not to be responsible, deprives them of their sense of responsibility, and forms unhealthy interdependence.
以下这个场景相信很多父母都很熟悉。
The following scenario is believed to be familiar to many parents.
3岁的乔尼吃早餐，妈妈为他准备了面包和鸡蛋。他吃了一口突然想吃薯条。妈妈又为他去做薯条，在等待的过程中，电视里正在播放“皇冠曲奇饼干”广告，他又跑到厨房要求妈妈要吃饼干，妈妈给了他一块饼干，他很不高兴，不是皇冠曲奇的，要妈妈赶紧去买。他丝毫没有负疚感，就能让妈妈围着他转。而妈妈虽然嘴上会抱怨几句，但是还是会不厌其烦地满足孩子。这样的孩子长大之后，也根本不懂得感恩，全部都是以自我为中心，稍
Three-year-old Johnny had breakfast and his mother prepared bread and eggs for him. He took a bite and suddenly wanted French fries. His mother made potato chips for him. While waiting, the TV was playing an advertisement for Crown Cookies. He ran to the kitchen and asked his mother to eat the cookies. His mother gave him a biscuit. He was very unhappy, not Crown Cookies, and asked her to buy it quickly. He had no guilt at all and could have his mother revolve around him. Although the mother will complain a few words, but still will tirelessly satisfy the children. When such children grow up, they don't know how to be grateful at all. They are all self-centered, a little bit.