Review on Chapter 6 Connectors Connect on Common Ground

Reflection on this Chapter

I want to say something about common ground here. Often times, we see the world with a pair of glasses with our own name tag on it, therefore, ourselves are the only focus when we see the world through this pair of glasses. For example, how do you tell whether a group photo is good or bad? You look at the picture and you focus on how you look like in this picture, right? If you look fabulous, then this is a perfect group photo.

However, just like John said, in order to connect with other people, you have got to put the concept of yourself behind and focus on other people. Connecting is all about others.

But how do you find a common ground with others? We live in a world with such a diversity and differences. How to connect with people? How to unite people under a common flag? Or simply how to unite your family members under one common goal? This has also been a question that aroused me for a very long time.

Yesterday my wife asked me, what quality do you see in me that make you want to marry me? I simply said I just want to marry you, there is no reason for that. But she insisted, seriously why do you want to marry me? Then it really took me a very long time to think about that question. For those of you who does not know my wife Cindy, she is the most beautiful women I have ever met. She is smart, kind and easygoing and it has been a real blessing to have her with me as my life partner. Together we raised our beautiful son Ricky who is as smart as his mother (what a relief he does not inherited my gens on the intelligent part).

However in the eyes of a lot of traditional people, they see us differently. You know I was born in the city of Beijing and she came from a remote village in the southern part of China. We have some many different backgrounds, habits, customs even languages. Sometimes life is really rough at the beginning of our marriage. And sometimes we have quarrels and difference opines on different things. That can be really difficult a one point.

But, as our marriage goes deeper and as we become more mature and grown up, I realize that the bound between me and my wife is going deeper and deeper. The things that we do together, and goals and efforts that we put together toward this family has really made me feel like we are inseparable.

After reading John's book, I finally find my answer to Cindy's question: why do you want to marry me? I think the answer is LOVE. A word that is so commonly said but also have so much meaning in it if you feel it by your heart. If you ever have a child, you will then understand the meaning of love. A child is always the apple in their parents' eyes (no matter how ugly that child can be). You see, with love, you see the world differently, you see people differently, you understand yourself differently. (by Chris Ma, 2017.1.25) Then you will find there are actually no real difference between you and other people, it is just the different path you took before. A path that brings us the diversity of life, a path not defines you but defined by you, and a path that shows you the joy of growth and success.  (by Chris Ma, 2017.1.25)

When you have a heart of genuine love and compassion, you will able to find more common ground instead of difference in people, you will find the world is actually a beautiful place despite its harshness. After all, common ground is something we are all born with, it is in your heart all the time, you just need to change the glasses you see the world and open up the lock to your heart!