文：萧理查德
Recently I was introduced to a new friend who loves to say "I also shared the same view" (我也是这么想的).
It is interest to thinking about why certain people like to utter these words.
Let's take a ride into the mind of the speaker to understand the intention behind.
A. Out of Habit
Some people developed an habit of saying such words that they themselves don't really mean anything when they utter such words.
It's just like saying "how are you?" when you meet a friend, "see you again" when departing from a meeting, etc.
B. To Give Acknowledgement/Support
Perhaps, he is trying to give his acknowledgement or to show his support to others' ideas. What else it's best to say we think alike.
That may be the intention of the speaker, but is this what others perceive?
C. To Pretend To Have Idea When Really There Isn't
What would be easier than saying these words when it comes to coming out with ideas. Once they said it, they thought they have contributed.
Furthermore, it won't be easy for others to "uncover" the real situation, i.e. whether the speaker has such idea before others presented it.
D. To Claim Credit
We can't deny that there will always be some people who like to ride on others' hard work to get credit for themselves.
By saying these words, they can "claim" others' ideas and present it as if it was theirs because they did say they had the same idea initially.
02
Although there is lie detector to help us identify truth from lies, we can possibly get everyone we talk to sit on it before talking to us.
This makes nailing down the real intention of others a challenging task.
We can observe behaviours, but intention and motive can only be an exercise of reasonable speculation.
Having said so, we are not entirely helpless.
Continue to observe these people, especially what they do after saying these words.
Time will empower you to get closer to the real intention behind these words.
I guess in most circumstances we are fine with these words and will assume the speaker has good intention.
However, when it happens too frequent at work place, it can sometimes be very annoying and unpleasant.
If they meant good intention, then it is still bearable.
However, when their intention is one of the latter two, then it won't be a pleasant experience working with such people.
Here are some tips (act on your own responsibility) as to how you can respond back when they say these words:
Ask the person to share his idea first
If you have a chance to do that, that may reduce that person from uttering these words.
But again, there is nothing stopping him from saying it after you eventually shared your ideas.
Tell the person "I am still working on my thought. How about you share first?"
When you are being asked to share before you could ask that person to share, perhaps saying this can reduce that person from uttering these words.
Again, he or she could say it after you.
Tell the person something else and after these words are uttered, you only share your real thoughts
You: "I am thinking that we can..."
That person: "I also shared the same view."
You: "Actually, my idea just now was based on what I think you would have thought about. And seem like I am lucky to guess it right. Actually, I have slightly different thought. My idea is..."
This way you can caught that person by surprise, but be mindful to take into consideration the possible potential consequence of this approach.
Some people may not have the "generousity" to be treated this way. You know what I mean.
