Cindy:About affection, I really don't know how to do?
First, he is a foreigner. In 2011, I had an internship in a training institution when I met him the first time.
Second, we spent only two months together (summer school) and then we lost touch. But the foreigner was really open. In just two months, he told me his love and sought for me frankly. He has returned to his country. I had no hope for exotic love and no hope for foreigners, so I refused early.
Third, but he still has contact with me on QQ, occasionally give me a call as well. QQ was added when we met in 2011. Recently, he have asked me to tell him my phone number. Eight years has gone away, during this time I deleted his QQ, basically do not want to have any contact with him, but today I suddenly read his E-mail sent to me a long time ago, became relented, replied to him.
Fourth, from 2011 to now, it was eight years. During that period, he sent me messages two or three times every year, and I replied to him, but he repeatedly said something to express his love, asking me to marry him and go to live with him in Kenya.
Fifth, I said NO over and over again, and I have been saying it for eight years. But even until today, he has not given up on me, and he also asks me the same question.I really don't know how to do? It is a real heart-broken thing for him as I say NO to him.I know without any doubts that there are many things will be stood in my way if I go for him,especially as a Chinese.
Sixth, at present, he is the only one who concerns about me so long. I do not know whether it can be defined as the true love or not. I refused his affection again and again, however,he still insists on contacting me. It seems that I feel a little guilty, but lacking of courage to move forward to him.
During that two months when I met him, he had a great influence on me. Although at that time, my oral English could not communicate with him about all the things I thought, saw and heard, most of the time, he could read my mind, which was a good feeling to me.He is five years older than me. He is good at observing people and things around. He could took good care of my feelings when he was getting along with me.But he was born in the year of the ox and I was born in the year of the horse.Perhaps influenced by this traditional view of marriage, I have been avoiding too much contact with him.But looking at his strong insistence, I instinctly have a few doubts that if my actions are all wrong to him?Shall I accept his feelings about me sincerely or break up with him more thoroughly?
Emma:So long he has sought for you, really a rare and good thing.Ah,love! Love knows no boundaries, why not accept it?First of all, forget race and something like this, because you haven't come to the point of talking about marriage, you can try to be seeing him a period of time and then make a decision.Now, one of the big problems you are facing is the distance.I think it's a good idea to have a colorful life if you go together with him.
Another question is, if your relationship works out and you want to get married, you will be questioned by your friends and relatives. At that time, what will you do?
If you don't care about the problem of different locations you are, will you promise that he may come to China for you regardless of everything?
After all, you have to ask yourself, "are you already to accept a foreigner?" If yes, go ahead.
Cindy:I know that I neither have the courage of Echo nor able to adapt to the life of that desolate land in Africa.My heart still yearns for the modern lively life of megacities, which are convenient, fast, clean and tidy.I value the quality of life I would have with him more than his affection for me.
I admit that in the face of emotional choice, I have some selfish desire for the impure material requirements.But this is my natural personality, it can not be hidden nor dispersed.
Confronting with this kind of deep affaction,frankly speaking,I can not accept without hasitations.
Although his personal quality of life is good in the local, owning a small company with considerable income.But the climate of that land, culture, food and so on, all will be my scruples.I was born in China, grew up in the traditional education, exotic love is impossible agreed by my big family.
What's more, there are still a lot of people with racial attitudes, which is an invisible pressure for me.This thing has been existing for so many years, hardly I dare to mention it with any one around me, due to my own scruples and fear of being questioned.
As long as he doesn't contact me any more, his affection for me will gradually come to an end.No matter how devoted he is. I think the next eight years, he will completely forget me.Start looking for a partner and have a family without me.
If you were stuck in the similar situation as Cindy,what will you do and choose? Really appreciate your answers~