Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross. — Mark, age 6
This past Friday night, I had the best date ever after the kids came along.
I am not one of those wifes that need lots of romance from their husbands to keep the marriage fresh. Growing up, I never once saw my father romancing my mother. If "actions speaks louder than words" like people all say, I'd much rather cash in "I love you" for chores, like fixing the toilet, washing the dishes, filing taxes, or good sex. Gee, why does it sound like I am now sleeping with a plumber / housekeeper / book keeper / free manwhore who fathered my kids? Sigh...
LG wasn't a romantic boyfriend when we were dating, and I never expected him to change after we got married, which saved me the trouble of complaining about how kids ruined our nonexistent romantic relationship. But maybe it was the romance novels I got addicted to lately, maybe it was the hormone, or worst, my aging brain cells, I was starting to feel like I had been missing out a lot all this time.
No, I do NOT fantasize about a Prince Charming showing up at my door with a huge bouquet of red roses and a sparkling pair of glass slippers, or a hot billionaire declaring his love by writing my name on the sky. I don't think the books will sell if I were the heroine.
I am simple and low maintenance. Flowers die within a week. Designer handbags are over priced and don't make me proud like the ones I make. Jewelry are worthless if they are too expensive to wear. In all honesty, a daily peck on the lips in the morning can be good enough, if that is all the romance I get for the rest of my life. But the truth is, a date still sounds like a lot of fun and much needed, considering we forget about our anniversary A LOT.
It was a typical date on an ordinary Friday: a movie, the blockbuster "Wonder Woman", followed by a candle light dinner. Pretty cliche, isn't it? Not to me. What made it "the best date", was simply the fact that it was our first one after we had kids.
Wait, why "Wonder Woman"? Well, after 6 straight years of Disney and Pixar animated movies, I believe we have earned entitlement to our share of grown up entertainment (yes we also have "Fifty Shades" at home, safely locked in a drawer). Although I've never been a fan of DC Comics, between chick flics and action movies, I definitely enjoy watching a girl kick ass more. From the trailers I saw, there were a lot of serious ass kicking in this movie.
So, it just started out as a movie plan without the kids. This alone, was monumental. 6-year-old Di di thinks any movie over 30 minutes long is a waste of his valuable YouTube time, and 8-year-old Jie Jie is not into action/super hero movies. "The stories are too predictable," she said. "First, a bad guy kills a good guy. After a sad moment, the good guy kills the bad guy. Then everybody celebrates." Couldn't agree more, kid. And I'd be dumber than dumb if I didn't jump on this golden opportunity. Who knows when they would change taste?
As you can tell by now, I was very excited about this. Movie watching is not like a party. There should be no conversations or human interactions involved, unless you are 16 and like to get into some actions yourself in the dark. "The more the merrier" is total BS once you throw a kid into the picture. The solution? Call the back up team, AKA their grandparents.
Now that the babysitting was taken care of, the weekend couldn't come soon enough. The original plan was to see it at the early bird matinee time on Sunday morning. Since the IMAX tickets had sold out in the first week it hit the big screen, LG said he would keep an eye on Fandango and buy the tickets once they were available.
I should have known better than trusting LG to keep his eyes on anything other than the stock market. After picking up Jie jie and Di di when the summer camp ended at 3:30PM Friday afternoon, I was sadly informed that he hadn't bought the tickets yet. Yelling at him was meaningless. It wouldn't increase the chance of satisfying my craving at that point. As LG instructed, I started checking Fandango for other movie times for fear that the IMAX tickets were sold out again.
As I read the movie times to LG, however, it seemed like our luck had once again abandoned us and eloped with my patience. With a full stomach from the late lunch we had together earlier, I wasn't quite in the mood for the dinner in three hours. IMAX or not, I was going to see this movie, TONIGHT!
"What do you say, dear LG?" I pleaded with my best puppy eyes. He didn't buy it at first, but after a couple dozens of "pretty please", he gave in. Within 10 seconds, we announced our executive decision to the kids and I dilegated the duty of dropping them off early to the grandparents to LG while I picked up the last kid at preschool (thank goodness she doesn't belong to us). According to this impromptu plan, we should be able to catch the 6PM movie at the small theater closest to home and be back by 10PM to tuck the kids in for bed.
We didn't realize there was a basketball game that evening until we arrived, 30 minutes before they let people in, but we purchased the tickets anyway just to be safe. Then we strolled down the quiet street looking for a restaurant to grab some food after the movie. Yelp pointed us to a small restaurant with an even smaller menu. Feeling adventurous, I made a second executive decision to reserve a table for two at 8:30 PM, their last seating time, and headed back to the theater.
I like this theater for a reason. Opened in 1926, Balboa Theater is one of the nine remaining pre-1950 theaters in San Francisco, a modern city where top-notch, multi-storied cinemas with surround sound constantly threaten to wipe out these historic two-screen theaters. As I sit there side by side with LG sipping the boba milk tea I snuck in, a sensation of deja Vu washed over me, reminding me of our life before the kids. Hey, don't judge me. I just didn't want to excellarate calcium loss with soda. Besides, we did purchase popcorn.
The movie itself wasn't disappointing, and Jie Jie's prediction was spot-on. The best part though, was the company. Unlike before the kids, there was no hand-holding, no feeding each other popcorns, no whispering into the ears. Still, it was far better than being dragged out in the middle of the movie because Di Di needs to do number two or Jie Jie got bored.
The same peace extended to our dinner. Between debating over dishes to order, cause of the premature wilting of the flowers next to the candle, and location of our new office, everything just felt — right.
Don't get me wrong, having kids feels right too. But sometimes, we are so caught up in the daily craziness that comes with kids that we forget what brought us together in the beginning. Like all girlfriends, I asked LG the age-old question "What do you like about me?" At that time, he wasn't able to provide me a solid answer. In actuality, physical appearance, personality, common interests and hobbies, similar mindset, the way we view this world, even sex drive (very important) can all come into play.
As life changes, so will the answer. I am pretty sure LG said "I don't know" back then, and I doubt he's getting any smarter. But the answer is not important. The important thing is that I am comfortible with the person he's changing into: a daddy with a fat belly. Other than that, he is still the same man I fell in love with. I just need a little reminder once in a while, like a date without the kids.
P.S. In case you are wondering, this date didn't end with sex. That's strategically scheduled on Wednesdays and Saturdays only.