For Mickey on 21 Aug 2016
this is my dairy on 21 Aug 2016, but i saved it. If we could work thing out and being together happily, this will just be a piece of record of my daily life and will never meet you. But now it comes to you, which means we are no longer being together.
What i feel "its a pity" of us:
NO sweet couple selfies, and no much photos of us. my concern was: what if we getting old but nothing could show we were in love with young faces. i never ask for one because it's not really bother me much and both of us are not good at photo shooting.. To me, memories could be recorded, or kept in mind. Either no need to proof to other that we were in love, or no point to bring up we were in love.
NO 2nd time like our trip to Kuching. that one was perfect: i gave you my idea of camping, a place called Kuching in Malaysia is always being cheap for last minute decision makers. and you sorted all out, found the nice tree house, and a real run-away from the haze.
NEVER share about life plans. i was told that a serious relationship should have plans, two people involved and discussed for their bright future. But today i realized, i had no plans about myself, so why should i blame you for not having a realistic plan for us.
there comes the point of this dairy why i wrote it down. i think now finally i catch you up about feelings about our relationship. Detached from wasting time on non-sense just-couples-do things. keep mind clear and calm, fighting can not drain from my energy any more. i still care for you, but i got more important and meaningful things to be focused.
i am glad to see your changes in recent time for yourself. And the coolest thing i ever got from a past relationship: self-awake. i lost you in my life, but after so many years of wondering around, i finally realize priorities among my goals, no more conflicting what need to do first cause nothing is done in the end. We are moving on to make ourselves to be a better person, yet to know the end of it can we still being together.