Ⅲ 冰雨的风暴 Chapter18 山姆威尔
SAMWELL
抽噎着，山姆又迈出一步。这是最后一步，最后最后的一步，我不能再走了，不能再走了。但他的脚却再次移动。一只，另一只；一步，又一步。他心想：这不是我的脚，它们是别人的，别人在走路，不可能是我。
Sobbing, Sam took another step. This is the last one, the very last, I can’t go on, I can’t. But his feet moved again. One and then the other. They took a step, and then another, and he thought, They’re not my feet, they’re someone else’s, someone else is walking, it can’t be me.
他低头就能看到那双笨拙而不成形的东西跌跌撞撞地跨过积雪，依稀记得鞋是黑色，但冰雪在周围冻结，使它们成了奇形怪状的雪球。他的腿好似两根冰棍。
When he looked down he could see them stumbling through the snow; shapeless things, and clumsy. His boots had been black, he seemed to remember, but the snow had caked around them, and now they were misshapen white balls. Like two clubfeet made of ice.
大雪一直没有停歇。积雪漫过膝盖，厚厚的冰壳如白色的护胫甲覆盖在小腿上，使他的脚步拖沓而踉跄。背上沉重的包裹让他看起来活象个驮背怪兽。我累了，太累了。我不能再走了，圣母慈悲，不能再走了。
It would not stop, the snow. The drifts were up past his knees, and a crust covered his lower legs like a pair of white greaves. His steps were dragging, lurching. The heavy pack he carried made him look like some monstrous hunchback. And he was tired, so tired. I can’t go on. Mother have mercy, I can’t.
每走四五步，他都得伸手提剑带。其实早在先民拳峰，剑就丢了，可带子上还挂着两把匕首：琼恩给的龙晶匕首和他用来切肉的钢铁匕首。它们好沉啊，而他的肚子又大又圆，不管腰带系得多紧，如果忘记往上提，它就会滑落，缠到膝盖上。他试过将剑带系在肚子之上，可那样几乎就要达到腋窝，葛兰看了直想笑，而忧郁的艾迪评论说：“从前我认识一个人，他像这样把剑系在脖子上。有一天他滑倒在地，结果被剑柄刺穿了鼻子。”
Every fourth or fifth step he had to reach down and tug up his swordbelt. He had lost the sword on the Fist, but the scabbard still weighed down the belt. He did have two knives; the dragonglass dagger Jon had given him and the steel one he cut his meat with. All that weight dragged heavy, and his belly was so big and round that if he forgot to tug the belt slipped right off and tangled round his ankles, no matter how tight he cinched it. He had tried belting it above his belly once, but then it came almost to his armpits. Grenn had laughed himself sick at the sight of it, and Dolorous Edd had said, “I knew a man once who wore his sword on a chain around his neck like that. One day he stumbled, and the hilt went up his nose.”
山姆一天到晚都在滑倒摔跤，因此他害怕。积雪下不仅有岩石树根，有时候冻土还掩盖了深深的窟窿。黑伯纳就踏入过一个窟窿，扭断了脚踝，那是三天前，还是四天前，还是……他其实不知道过了多久，反正在那之后，总司令就让伯纳骑马。
Sam was stumbling himself. There were rocks beneath the snow, and the roots of trees, and sometimes deep holes in the frozen ground. Black Bernarr had stepped in one and broken his ankle three days past, or maybe four, or … he did not know how long it had been, truly. The Lord Commander had put Bernarr on a horse after that.
抽噎着，山姆又迈出一步。感觉好像在坠落，而不是走路，永无止境地坠落，却又碰不到地面，只是一直往下，往下。我必须停止，好痛苦啊。我又冷又累，想睡……哪怕在火堆边睡一小会儿，吃点没有结冻的食物。
Sobbing, Sam took another step. It felt more like he was falling down than walking, falling endlessly but never hitting the ground, just falling forward and forward. I have to stop, it hurts too much. I’m so cold and tired, I need to sleep, just a little sleep beside a fire, and a bite to eat that isn’t frozen.
但他清楚，如果停下来，就死定了。为数不多的幸存者们对此都清楚。逃离先民拳峰时，他们有五十个，也许更多，但接下来有人在大雪中走失，还有伤员流血至死……有时山姆听到殿后的人发出喊声，甚至是凄厉的惨叫。他一听之下便开始狂奔，奔出二三十码，尽其所能地跑，冻成冰棍的双脚死命踢起积雪。若腿再强壮一点，他还会继续。它们在我们后面，它们还在我们后面，它们要把我们一个个放倒。
But if he stopped he died. He knew that. They all knew that, the few who were left. They had been fifty when they fled the Fist, maybe more, but some had wandered off in the snow, a few wounded had bled to death … and sometimes Sam heard shouts behind him, from the rear guard, and once an awful scream. When he heard that he had run, twenty yards or thirty, as fast and as far as he could, his half-frozen feet kicking up the snow. He would be running still if his legs were stronger. They are behind us, they are still behind us, they are taking us one by one.
抽噎着，山姆又迈出一步。长久的天寒地冻，让他忘了温暖的感觉。他共穿了三双长袜，两件内衣，外套双层羔羊毛上装，在此之外是一件厚实的棉褂，然后才是冰冷的铁锁甲，锁甲外他穿一件宽松的外套和加厚两倍的斗篷，斗篷用骨扣在下巴下扣紧，兜帽前翻，盖住额头。他戴了轻便的羊毛皮革手套，外罩厚厚的毛皮拳套，一条头巾紧紧包裹着脸庞，兜帽里面还有一顶绷紧的绒线帽，盖住耳朵。虽然如此，他仍觉得冷。尤其是脚，甚至感觉不到它们的存在——而就在昨天，它们却又痛得厉害，教人站着都无法忍受，逞论走路？每一步都让他想要尖叫。那是昨天吗？他不清楚。自离开先民拳峰以来，他就没睡过觉，应该说从号角吹响之后就没有躺下。除非是在走路时……人可以边走边睡吗？山姆不清楚，或者是又忘记了。
Sobbing, Sam took another step. He had been cold so long he was forgetting what it was like to feel warm. He wore three pairs of hose, two layers of smallclothes beneath a double lambswool tunic, and over that a thick quilted coat that padded him against the cold steel of his chainmail. Over the hauberk he had a loose surcoat, over that a triple-thick cloak with a bone button that fastened tight under his chins. Its hood flopped forward over his forehead. Heavy fur mitts covered his hands over thin wool-and-leather gloves, a scarf was wrapped snugly about the lower half of his face, and he had a tight-fitting fleece-lined cap to pull down over his ears beneath the hood. And still the cold was in him. His feet especially. He couldn’t even feel them now, but only yesterday they had hurt so bad he could hardly bear to stand on them, let alone walk. Every step made him want to scream. Was that yesterday? He could not remember. He had not slept since the Fist, not once since the horn had blown. Unless it was while he was walking. Could a man walk while he was sleeping? Sam did not know, or else he had forgotten.
抽噎着，山姆又迈出一步。雪盘旋着在周围降下。有时候，它从白色的天空落下，有时候则从黑色的天空坠落，这是白天与黑夜惟一的区别。他肩上披满雪花，就像另一件斗篷，雪在包裹上高高地堆积，使得包裹更加沉重，更加难以承受。他的背心疼痛难忍，仿佛被插进了一把匕首，每走一步都来回绞动。他的肩膀因锁甲的重量而麻木。他一心想把它脱掉，却又不敢脱。因为要脱它，就得先脱大衣和外套，那样会被冻坏的。
Sobbing, he took another step. The snow swirled down around him. Sometimes it fell from a white sky, and sometimes from a black, but that was all that remained of day and night. He wore it on his shoulders like a second cloak, and it piled up high atop the pack he carried and made it even heavier and harder to bear. The small of his back hurt abominably, as if someone had shoved a knife in there and was wiggling it back and forth with every step. His shoulders were in agony from the weight of the mail. He would have given most anything to take it off, but he was afraid to. Anyway he would have needed to remove his cloak and surcoat to get at it, and then the cold would have him.
如果我再强壮一些，就好了……可我并不强壮，想也没有用。山姆又虚弱又肥胖，胖得承受不住自己的重量，锁甲对他而言委实太沉，尽管钢铁与肌肤之间有层层麻布与棉花，感觉上却好像把肩膀都磨破了。他唯一能做的只有抽噎，哭的时候，眼泪冻结在脸颊上。
If only I was stronger … He wasn’t, though, and it was no good wishing. Sam was weak, and fat, so very fat, he could hardly bear his own weight, the mail was much too much for him. It felt as though it was rubbing his shoulders raw, despite the layers of cloth and quilt between the steel and skin. The only thing he could do was cry, and when he cried the tears froze on his cheeks.
抽噎着，山姆又迈出一步。若不是冰壳在脚下碎裂，他根本不觉得自己在走。左右两边，寂静的树木之间，隐约可以见到火炬，在坠落的雪花当中，发出橙色的光晕。它们静静地在树丛中移动，忽上忽下、忽前忽后地晃。那是熊老的火炬圈，他提醒自己，并为离开了它的人悲哀。他觉得自己是在追赶前方那些火炬，可惜它们也长了脚，而且比他的长，比他的壮，所以一直追不上。
Sobbing, he took another step. The crust was broken where he set his feet, otherwise he did not think he could have moved at all. Off to the left and right, half-seen through the silent trees, torches turned to vague orange haloes in the falling snow. When he turned his head he could see them, slipping silent through the wood, bobbing up and down and back and forth. The Old Bear’s ring of fire, he reminded himself, and woe to him who leaves it. As he walked, it seemed as if he were chasing the torches ahead of him, but they had legs as well, longer and stronger than his, so he could never catch them.
昨天，他恳求他们让他当个火炬手，即便那意味着身在外围，在重重黑暗紧逼下行走。他要火，他梦想着火。如果有火，就不会冷了。有人提醒他，开始他是有火炬的，后来却将它失落在雪地，令火熄灭。山姆不记得自己掉过火炬，只好假设那是真的。他太虚弱，无法长时间举手。说这事的是艾迪？是葛兰？他也不清楚。我又肥胖又虚弱又没用，现在连脑子也冻住了。抽噎着，他又迈出一步。
Yesterday he begged for them to let him be one of the torchbearers, even if it meant walking outside of the column with the darkness pressing close. He wanted the fire, dreamed of the fire. If I had the fire, I would not be cold. But someone reminded him that he’d had a torch at the start, but he’d dropped it in the snow and snuffed the fire out. Sam didn’t remember dropping any torch, but he supposed it was true. He was too weak to hold his arm up for long. Was it Edd who reminded him about the torch, or Grenn? He couldn’t remember that either. Fat and weak and useless, even my wits are freezing now. He took another step.
他用头巾裹住鼻子和嘴巴，巾上全是鼻涕，僵硬的鼻涕，他担心它和脸冻在了一起。呼吸也困难，空气如此冰冷，吸进去都感到疼痛。“圣母慈悲，”他用沙哑的声音在冰冻的面罩下轻轻咕哝，“圣母慈悲，圣母慈悲，圣母慈悲，”每祈祷一句，就拖着腿在雪地里又跨一步，“圣母慈悲，圣母慈悲，圣母慈悲。”
He had wrapped his scarf over his nose and mouth, but it was covered with snot now, and so stiff he feared it must be frozen to his face. Even breathing was hard, and the air was so cold it hurt to swallow it. “Mother have mercy,” he muttered in a hushed husky voice beneath the frozen mask. “Mother have mercy, Mother have mercy, Mother have mercy.” With each prayer he took another step, dragging his legs through the snow. “Mother have mercy, Mother have mercy, Mother have mercy.”
他的亲生母亲远在万里之外的南方，跟他的姐妹们和小弟弟狄肯一起安全地待在角陵城。和天上的圣母一样，她也听不到我的声音。修士们都说，圣母慈悲，但七神在长城外没有力量。这里是旧神的土地，那些属于树、属于狼、属于冰雪的无名神祗。“发发慈悲吧，”他轻声道，不管谁听到，旧神也好，新神也罢，甚至魔鬼……“噢，发发慈悲，可怜可怜我吧。”
His own mother was a thousand leagues south, safe with his sisters and his little brother Dickon in the keep at Horn Hill. She can’t hear me, no more than the Mother Above. The Mother was merciful, all the septons agreed, but the Seven had no power beyond the Wall. This was where the old gods ruled, the nameless gods of the trees and the wolves and the snows. “Mercy,” he whispered then, to whatever might be listening, old gods or new, or demons too, “oh, mercy, mercy me, mercy me.”
马斯林尖叫着求它可怜他。为何突然联想起这个？我不该记住这个。他跌跌撞撞地往后退去，扔掉长剑，跪倒，恳求，甚至脱下厚厚的黑手套举在面前，当那是骑士表示降伏的护手甲。但尸鬼捏住他的喉咙，把他举到半空，几乎将脑袋拧下来。他还在尖声呼喊，祈求怜悯。死人没有怜悯，而异鬼……不，我不该想这些，不能想这些，不要去回忆，只管走路，走路，走路。
Maslyn screamed for mercy. Why had he suddenly remembered that? It was nothing he wanted to remember. The man had stumbled backward, dropping his sword, pleading, yielding, even yanking off his thick black glove and thrusting it up before him as if it were a gauntlet. He was still shrieking for quarter as the wight lifted him in the air by the throat and near ripped the head off him. The dead have no mercy left in them, and the Others … no, I mustn’t think of that, don’t think, don’t remember, just walk, just walk, just walk.
抽噎着，山姆又迈出一步。
Sobbing, he took another step.
冰壳下的树根猛然绊住脚趾，山姆一个踉跄，沉重地单膝跪倒，咬到了自己的舌头。他尝到血的滋味，那比自先民拳峰以来尝过的任何东西都温暖。这就是我的终点，他心想，既然跌倒，就再没力气爬起来。他摸到一根树枝，牢牢握住，试图把自己重新拉起，但那双僵硬的腿实在无力支撑。锁甲太沉，而他太肥胖，太虚弱，太疲倦。
A root beneath the crust caught his toe, and Sam tripped and fell heavily to one knee, so hard he bit his tongue. He could taste the blood in his mouth, warmer than anything he had tasted since the Fist. This is the end, he thought. Now that he had fallen he could not seem to find the strength to rise again. He groped for a tree branch and clutched it tight, trying to pull himself back to his feet, but his stiff legs would not support him. The mail was too heavy, and he was too fat besides, and too weak, and too tired.
“起来，猪头爵士，”有人路过时喊，山姆没理会。就让我躺在雪地里闭上双眼。死在这不算太糟。他冷到极点，再过一小会儿，就不会感觉到腰背和肩膀上可怕的疼痛了，正如他感觉不到自己的脚。至少他们不能责备我头一个死去。在先民拳峰，成百人死在他周围，之后他又亲眼目睹许多人毙命。山姆颤抖着松开握住树枝的手，让自己躺在雪地里。雪又冷又湿，但有重重衣服在，他几乎觉察不到。上方是苍白的天空，雪花飘落在肚子、胸口和眼睑上。它会铺成一条厚厚的白毯，盖住我，让我很暖和。将来他们会说，死去的山姆是个堂堂正正的守夜人。是的。是的。我尽到了职责，没有背弃自己的誓言。我又肥胖，又虚弱，又胆小，但我尽到了职责。
“Back on your feet, Piggy,” someone growled as he went past, but Sam paid him no mind. I’ll just lie down in the snow and close my eyes. It wouldn’t be so bad, dying here. He couldn’t possibly be any colder, and after a little while he wouldn’t be able to feel the ache in his lower back or the terrible pain in his shoulders, no more than he could feel his feet. I won’t be the first to die, they can’t say I was. Hundreds had died on the Fist, they had died all around him, and more had died after, he’d seen them. Shivering, Sam released his grip on the tree and eased himself down in the snow. It was cold and wet, he knew, but he could scarcely feel it through all his clothing. He stared upward at the pale white sky as snowflakes drifted down upon his stomach and his chest and his eyelids. The snow will cover me like a thick white blanket. It will be warm under the snow, and if they speak of me they’ll have to say I died a man of the Night’s Watch. I did. I did. I did my duty. No one can say I forswore myself. I’m fat and I’m weak and I’m craven, but I did my duty.
乌鸦是他的职责，是他们带上他的惟一原因。他告诉过他们，他不想去，他是个胆小鬼，可伊蒙学士又老又瞎，他们需要他来照顾乌鸦。当初在先民拳峰安营扎寨，总司令特地找到他：“听着，你不是战士，我们彼此都很清楚，孩子。万一遭到攻击，你无需参战，否则只会碍手碍脚。你惟一要做的就是把消息送出去，不要跑来问信上该写什么，你自己决定，反正派一只鸟去黑城堡，再派一只去影子塔。”熊老用戴手套的指头指着山姆的脸。“我不管你是否会吓得尿裤子，也不管是否会有成千上万的野人嚎叫着要你的命，你得保证把鸟送出去，否则我发誓追你到七重地狱，要你永世遗憾。”莫尔蒙的乌鸦上上下下地点头叫道，“遗憾，遗憾，遗憾。”
The ravens had been his responsibility. That was why they had brought him along. He hadn’t wanted to go, he’d told them so, he’d told them all what a big coward he was. But Maester Aemon was very old and blind besides, so they had to send Sam to tend to the ravens. The Lord Commander had given him his orders when they made their camp on the Fist. “You’re no fighter. We both know that, boy. If it happens that we’re attacked, don’t go trying to prove otherwise, you’ll just get in the way. You’re to send a message. And don’t come running to ask what the letter should say. Write it out yourself, and send one bird to Castle Black and another to the Shadow Tower.” The Old Bear pointed a gloved finger right in Sam’s face. “I don’t care if you’re so scared you foul your breeches, and I don’t care if a thousand wildlings are coming over the walls howling for your blood, you get those birds off, or I swear I’ll hunt you through all seven hells and make you damn sorry that you didn’t.” And Mormont’s own raven had bobbed its head up and down and croaked, “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”
山姆很遗憾，他遗憾自己既不勇敢，也不强壮；他遗憾自己不会用武器；他遗憾自己不是父亲的好儿子，不是狄肯和姑娘们的好兄弟；他也遗憾自己即将死去。那么多优秀的人在拳峰上死去，他们坚强可靠，不像我，是个只会尖叫的胖小子。至少熊老不会到七重地狱来追我。我把鸟送了出去，尽到了职责。其实信息是他提前写就的，极简短，只有一句话：我们在先民拳峰上遭到攻击。他一直将其安稳地塞在装羊皮纸的袋子里，期望永远无需送出。
Sam was sorry; sorry he hadn’t been braver, or stronger, or good with swords, that he hadn’t been a better son to his father and a better brother to Dickon and the girls. He was sorry to die too, but better men had died on the Fist, good men and true, not squeaking fat boys like him. At least he would not have the Old Bear hunting him through hell, though. I got the birds off. I did that right, at least. He had written out the messages ahead of time, short messages and simple, telling of an attack on the Fist of the First Men, and then he had tucked them away safe in his parchment pouch, hoping he would never need to send them.
号角吹响时，山姆在睡觉。起初他以为自己梦到了号角声，但睁开眼睛，雪正飘落在营地里，黑衣兄弟们都抓起弓箭和长矛，奔向环墙。附近只有齐特，他是伊蒙学士从前的事务官，脸颊长满疖子，脖子上还有一个大粉瘤。当第三声号角自树丛中呻吟着传来，山姆从没见过一个人能如此恐惧。“帮我把鸟放出去，”他请求，但对方转身就跑，手里还拿着匕首。他得去照顾猎狗，山姆想起来，或许总司令也给他下了命令。
When the horns blew Sam had been sleeping. He thought he was dreaming them at first, but when he opened his eyes snow was falling on the camp and the black brothers were all grabbing bows and spears and running toward the ringwall. Chett was the only one nearby, Maester Aemon’s old steward with the face full of boils and the big wen on his neck. Sam had never seen so much fear on a man’s face as he saw on Chett’s when that third blast came moaning through the trees. “Help me get the birds off,” he pleaded, but the other steward had turned and run off, dagger in hand. He has the dogs to care for, Sam remembered. Probably the Lord Commander had given him some orders as well.
手套里的指头异常僵硬笨拙，并因恐惧和寒冷而颤抖，他好歹找到装羊皮纸的口袋，拔出事先写的短信。乌鸦们狂乱地咶噪，当他打开来自黑城堡的笼子，其中一只鸟顿时直冲向他的脸，在他抓到另一只之前又有两只逃走，而被他抓住的乌鸦，隔着手套将他的手啄出了血。他死命不放，得以将那一小卷羊皮纸捆上。此时号声已歇，先民拳峰上充斥着发号施令和钢铁碰撞声。“飞吧！”山姆大喊，将乌鸦抛向空中。
His fingers had been so stiff and clumsy in the gloves, and he was shaking from fear and cold, but he found the parchment pouch and dug out the messages he’d written. The ravens were shrieking furiously, and when he opened the Castle Black cage one of them flew right in his face. Two more escaped before Sam could catch one, and when he did it pecked him through his glove, drawing blood. Yet somehow he held on long enough to attach the little roll of parchment. The warhorn had fallen silent by then, but the Fist rang with shouted commands and the clatter of steel. “Fly!” Sam called as he tossed the raven into the air.
来自影子塔的笼子里的鸟尖叫扑腾得如此疯狂，以至于他害怕得不敢开门，只好强迫自己。这次他逮住了第一只试图逃走的乌鸦，片刻之后，它载着消息在飞雪中上升离开。
The birds in the Shadow Tower cage were screaming and fluttering about so madly that he was afraid to open the door, but he made himself do it anyway. This time he caught the first raven that tried to escape. A moment later, it was clawing its way up through the falling snow, bearing word of the attack.
职责履行完毕，接下来他用吓得笨拙的手指戴上帽子，穿上外套和兜帽斗蓬，紧紧扣上剑带，使它不至于滑落，然后找到包裹，将所有东西塞进去：备用内衣，干袜子，琼恩给的龙晶箭头和矛尖，那只旧的战号，羊皮纸，墨水，鹅毛笔，先前画的地图，外加从长城带来、一直保存着的一段石头般硬的蒜肠。他系好包裹，把它扛到背上。总司令说我不用上环墙，他心想，也叫我不要跑去问他。山姆深深吸口气，意识到自己不知道下一步该怎么办。
His duty done, he finished dressing with clumsy, frightened fingers, donning his cap and surcoat and hooded cloak and buckling on his swordbelt, buckling it real tight so it wouldn’t fall down. Then he found his pack and stuffed all his things inside, spare smallclothes and dry socks, the dragonglass arrowheads and spearhead Jon had given him and the old horn too, his parchments, inks, and quills, the maps he’d been drawing, and a rock-hard garlic sausage he’d been saving since the Wall. He tied it all up and shouldered the pack onto his back. The Lord Commander said I wasn’t to rush to the ringwall, he recalled, but he said I shouldn’t come running to him either. Sam took a deep breath and realized that he did not know what to do next.
他迷乱地转圈，恐惧一如既往在体内增长。狗吠，马嘶，经由大雪的压制，听起来似乎都很遥远。三码以外，什么都看不清，甚至环绕山顶的矮石墙上燃烧的火炬也不例外。难道火炬熄灭了？这个想法太可怕。三声长长的号角，三声代表异鬼来袭。它们是林间的白鬼，冰冷的阴影，骑着巨大的冰蜘蛛，追逐热血……小时侯，这些故事令他尖叫颤抖。
He remembered turning in a circle, lost, the fear growing inside him as it always did. There were dogs barking and horses trumpeting, but the snow muffled the sounds and made them seem far away. Sam could see nothing beyond three yards, not even the torches burning along the low stone wall that ringed the crown of the hill. Could the torches have gone out? That was too scary to think about. The horn blew thrice long, three long blasts means Others. The white walkers of the wood, the cold shadows, the monsters of the tales that made him squeak and tremble as a boy, riding their giant ice-spiders, hungry for blood …
他笨手笨脚地拔剑出鞘，在雪地沉重跋涉。一条狗从面前吠叫着跑过。他看到一些影子塔来的人，留大胡子，拿着长柄斧和八尺长矛。有他们为伴，感觉比较安全，因此他跟随他们走到墙边。环形石墙上的火炬还在烧，一阵欣慰的颤栗袭过全身。
Awkwardly he drew his sword, and plodded heavily through the snow holding it. A dog ran past barking, and he saw some of the men from the Shadow Tower, big bearded men with longaxes and eight-foot spears. He felt safer for their company, so he followed them to the wall. When he saw the torches still burning atop the ring of stones a shudder of relief went through him.
黑衣兄弟们手持武器，并肩而立，一边凝视大雪飘落，一边等待。马拉多·洛克爵士策马经过，头盔上沾满点点雪花。山姆站在其他人背后，搜寻着葛兰和忧郁的艾迪的身影。如果注定一死，我宁愿死在朋友们身边，他记得自己曾这么想。可惜周围都是陌生人，影子塔的人，由一位名叫班恩的游骑兵指挥。
The black brothers stood with swords and spears in hand, watching the snow fall, waiting. Ser Mallador Locke went by on his horse, wearing a snow-speckled helm. Sam stood well back behind the others, looking for Grenn or Dolorous Edd. If I have to die, let me die beside my friends, he remembered thinking. But all the men around him were strangers, Shadow Tower men under the command of the ranger named Blane.
“他们来了，”一位兄弟说。
“Here they come,” he heard a brother say.
“搭箭，”班恩道，二十支黑色的羽箭沉默地从二十个箭袋中抽出，搭上二十根弓弦。
“Notch,” said Blane, and twenty black arrows were pulled from as many quivers, and notched to as many bowstrings.
“诸神保佑，有好几百，”另一位兄弟轻声说。
“Gods be good, there’s hundreds,” a voice said softly.
“拉弓，”班恩道，接着又补了一句，“别慌。”山姆看不到什么，也不想看见。守夜人站在火炬后面等待，弓箭拉到耳际，有些东西正穿过大雪，自那黑暗湿滑的山坡爬上来。“别慌，”班恩再度强调，“别慌，别慌……”然后——“放。”
“Draw,” Blane said, and then, “hold.” Sam could not see and did not want to see. The men of the Night’s Watch stood behind their torches, waiting with arrows pulled back to their ears, as something came up that dark, slippery slope through the snow. “Hold,” Blane said again, “hold, hold.” And then, “Loose.”
羽箭嗖地飞出。
The arrows whispered as they flew.
沿着环墙排列的人们发出一阵参差不齐的欢呼，顷刻间又消退下去。“它们没有停，大人，”一个人对班恩说，另一个则喊，“有更多的过来！看那儿，林子里，”还有一个说，“诸神慈悲，它们还在往上爬。差不多快上来了，马上！”山姆往后退去，颤抖得像秋天的树上最后一片叶子，既寒冷，也恐惧。那晚好冷啊，甚至比现在更冷。现在有好温暖的雪。我感觉好多了。只需再休息一会儿，一小会儿，就能恢复体力，继续前进。再休息一小会儿。
A ragged cheer went up from the men along the ringwall, but it died quickly. “They’re not stopping, m’lord,” a man said to Blane, and another shouted, “More! Look there, coming from the trees,” and yet another said, “Gods ha’ mercy, they’s crawling. They’s almost here, they’s on us!” Sam had been backing away by then, shaking like the last leaf on the tree when the wind kicks up, as much from cold as from fear. It had been very cold that night. Even colder than now. The snow feels almost warm. I feel better now. A little rest was all I needed. Maybe in a little while I’ll be strong enough to walk again. In a little while.
一匹马从头顶越过，一匹毛发蓬乱的灰马，鬃毛有积雪，马蹄结了一层冰。山姆看着它出现和消失。又一匹马从降雪中走来，由一个穿黑衣的人牵引。他看见山姆挡路，便一边咒骂他，一边领马绕开。真希望我也有匹马，他心想，如果有匹马，就能继续前进，还可以坐在鞍上，甚至睡一会儿。可惜多数坐骑都在先民拳峰丢失，剩下的驮着食物、火炬和伤员，而山姆没受伤，他只是又肥胖，又虚弱，又胆小。
A horse stepped past his head, a shaggy grey beast with snow in its mane and hooves crusted with ice. Sam watched it come and watched it go. Another appeared from out of the falling snow, with a man in black leading it. When he saw Sam in his path he cursed him and led the horse around. I wish I had a horse, he thought. If I had a horse I could keep going. I could sit, and even sleep some in the saddle. Most of their mounts had been lost at the Fist, though, and those that remained carried their food, their torches, and their wounded. Sam wasn’t wounded. Only fat and weak, and the greatest craven in the Seven Kingdoms.
他真是个胆小鬼。蓝道大人，他的父亲，常这么评价，而今证明这没有错。山姆是塔利家的继承人，但他如此无能，因此被父亲送来长城。弟弟狄肯将会继承土地与城堡，还有那把角陵的领主们骄傲地佩戴了数百年的瓦雷利亚巨剑碎心。不知狄肯会不会为这个远在世界边缘、于大雪中死去的哥哥掉一滴眼泪。他为什么要落泪？不值得为胆小鬼哭泣。他听过父亲千百次告诉母亲。这点连熊老也明白。
He was such a coward. Lord Randyll, his father, had always said so, and he had been right. Sam was his heir, but he had never been worthy, so his father had sent him away to the Wall. His little brother Dickon would inherit the Tarly lands and castle, and the greatsword Heartsbane that the lords of Horn Hill had borne so proudly for centuries. He wondered whether Dickon would shed a tear for his brother who died in the snow, somewhere off beyond the edge of the world. Why should he? A coward’s not worth weeping over. He had heard his father tell his mother as much, half a hundred times. The Old Bear knew it too.
“火箭，”那晚在先民拳峰，总司令突然骑马咆哮着出现，“给它们火尝尝！”此时他注意到浑身发抖的山姆。“塔利！快离开！去照顾乌鸦！”
“Fire arrows,” the Lord Commander roared that night on the Fist, when he appeared suddenly astride his horse, “give them flame.” It was then he noticed Sam there quaking. “Tarly! Get out of here! Your place is with the ravens.”
“我……我……我把消息送走了。”
“I … I … I got the messages away.”
“很好。”莫尔蒙的乌鸦在他肩上重复，“很好，很好。”穿着毛皮和盔甲的总司令显得很魁梧，黑铁面罩后的眼睛精光逼人。“你别在这儿碍手碍脚，回鸦笼那儿去。我不想在需要传信时还得先找你。把那些鸟准备好！”他不等回答，掉转马头沿环墙一路小跑，一边喊，“火！给它们火尝尝！”
“Good.” On Mormont’s shoulder his own raven echoed, “Good, good.” The Lord Commander looked huge in fur and mail. Behind his black iron visor, his eyes were fierce. “You’re in the way here. Go back to your cages. If I need to send another message, I don’t want to have to find you first. See that the birds are ready.” He did not wait for a response, but turned his horse and trotted around the ring, shouting, “Fire! Give them fire!”
山姆无需别人说第二遍，就以那双胖腿可以达到的最快速度逃回鸦笼边。我可以先把消息写好，他心想，需要时就能尽快送出去。于是他点起一小堆火，花了不必少时间烤融结冰的墨水，然后坐在火堆旁一块石头上，拿起鹅毛笔和羊皮纸，开始写信。
Sam did not need to be told twice. He went back to the birds, as fast as his fat legs could carry him. I should write the message ahead of time, he thought, so we can get the birds away as fast as need be. It took him longer than it should have to light his little fire, to warm the frozen ink. He sat beside it on a rock with quill and parchment, and wrote his messages.
在寒气和冰雪中，我们遭到攻击，但火箭将敌人击退，他写道。索伦·斯莫伍德大声下令，“搭箭，拉弓……放。”飞箭的声响犹如圣母的祈祷那么动听。“烧吧，你们这些死混蛋，烧吧，”戴文边喊边纵声大笑。弟兄们又是欢呼，又是咒骂。大家都很安全，他写道，我们还在先民拳峰。山姆希望他们的弓术比自己强。
Attacked amidst snow and cold, but we’ve thrown them back with fire arrows, he wrote, as he heard Thoren Smallwood’s voice ring out with a command of, “Notch, draw … loose.” The flight of arrows made a sound as sweet as a mother’s prayer. “Burn, you dead bastards, burn,” Dywen sang out, cackling. The brothers cheered and cursed. All safe, he wrote. We remain on the Fist of the First Men. Sam hoped they were better archers than him.
他将写好的信放到一边，又取出一张空白羊皮纸。我们在先民拳峰上战斗，大雪纷飞。只听一个人喊，“它们没有停。”反击的效果尚不明朗。“拿起长矛，”有人叫道。说话的也许是马拉多爵士，但山姆无法确定。尸鬼穿过大雪，继续杀来，他写道，我们用火加以驱赶。他转头看去，透过飘摇的雪花，只能看见营地中央的大火堆，骑马的人们在它周围不安地来回移动。那是预备队，用于冲击任何突破环墙的东西。他们没有执剑，而是在篝火中点燃火炬，用它来武装自己。
He put that note aside and found another blank parchment. Still fighting on the Fist, amidst heavy snow, he wrote when someone shouted, “They’re still coming.” Result uncertain. “Spears,” someone said. It might have been Ser Mallador, but Sam could not swear to it. Wights attacked us on the Fist, in snow, he wrote, but we drove them off with fire. He turned his head. Through the drifting snow, all he could see was the huge fire at the center of the camp, with mounted men moving restlessly around it. The reserve, he knew, ready to ride down anything that breached the ringwall. They had armed themselves with torches in place of swords, and were lighting them in the flames.
到处都是尸鬼，他一边写，一边听到北方传来喊叫。它们从南北两面同时发动进攻。长矛和利剑都不起作用，惟有火焰能抵挡它们。“放，放，放！”一个声音在黑夜中嘶喊，另一个则惊叫道，“妈的！好大！，”第三个声音说，“巨人！”第四个声音坚持，“熊，一头熊！”马儿嘶鸣，猎狗吠叫，如此多的声音，山姆再也分辨不清。他落笔更快，一封接着一封。敌人包括大批死野人、一个巨人甚至一头熊，它们漫山遍野地扑上来。他听到钢铁和木头的撞击声，这只意味着一件事：尸鬼越过了环墙，战斗正在营地里展开。十几个骑马的弟兄凶猛地从他身边驰过，往东墙而去，每人手上都举着燃烧的火炬，焰苗跳动。莫尔蒙总司令用火来迎战。我们已经取得了胜利。我们正在取得胜利。我们在坚持。我们要杀开一条血路，退回长城去。我们被困在先民拳峰，四面楚歌。
Wights all around us, he wrote, when he heard the shouts from the north face. Coming up from north and south at once. Spears and swords don’t stop them, only fire. “Loose, loose, loose,” a voice screamed in the night, and another shouted, “Bloody huge,” and a third voice said, “A giant!” and a fourth insisted, “A bear, a bear!” A horse shrieked and the hounds began to bay, and there was so much shouting that Sam couldn’t make out the voices anymore. He wrote faster, note after note. Dead wildlings, and a giant, or maybe a bear, on us, all around. He heard the crash of steel on wood, which could only mean one thing. Wights over the ringwall. Fighting inside the camp. A dozen mounted brothers pounded past him toward the east wall, burning brands streaming flames in each rider’s hand. Lord Commander Mormont is meeting them with fire. We’ve won. We’re winning. We’re holding our own. We’re cutting our way free and retreating for the Wall. We’re trapped on the Fist, hard pressed.
一个影子塔的人跌跌撞撞地从黑暗中走来，倒在山姆脚边。临死前，他爬到离火堆仅一尺之遥的地方。输了，山姆写道，战斗输了，我们输了。
One of the Shadow Tower men came staggering out of the darkness to fall at Sam’s feet. He crawled within a foot of the fire before he died. Lost, Sam wrote, the battle’s lost. We’re all lost.
为什么我要记住先民拳峰上的战斗？他不该记住这些，不想记住这些。他试图回忆母亲，回忆妹妹塔拉，回忆卡斯特堡垒里那个叫吉莉的女孩。有人在摇他肩膀。“起来，”一个声音说，“山姆，你不能在这儿睡。起来，继续前进！”
Why must he remember the fight at the Fist? He didn’t want to remember. Not that. He tried to make himself remember his mother, or his little sister Talla, or that girl Gilly at Craster’s Keep. Someone was shaking him by the shoulder. “Get up,” a voice said. “Sam, you can’t go to sleep here. Get up and keep walking.”
我没睡，只是休息。“走开，”他道，言语冻在冷气里，“我很好，只想休息休息。”
I wasn’t asleep, I was remembering. “Go away,” he said, his words frosting in the cold air. “I’m well. I want to rest.”
“起来。”是葛兰的声音，沙哑而刺耳。他出现在山姆上方，黑衣结了一层冰，“熊老说，不能休息。你会死的。”
“Get up.” Grenn’s voice, harsh and husky. He loomed over Sam, his blacks crusty with snow. “There’s no resting, the Old Bear said. You’ll die.”
“葛兰，”他微笑，“不，真的，我在这儿很好。你快走吧，我再休息一小会儿，就会赶上去。”
“Grenn.” He smiled. “No, truly, I’m good here. You just go on. I’ll catch you after I’ve rested a bit longer.”