独自对苍天竟无语凝噎

By小小编辑发表于2009-03-22

FML囧文Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

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跟爷爷还有姐姐一起吃饭呢,吃着吃着我爷爷看看我姐姐,然后点点头,“嗯,我们家小姑娘真俊呐”,然后转过头来看看我,没说话,憋了半天,“嗯,我们家小姑娘的衣服真好看”。FML

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今天,我和爷爷和妹妹一起吃午饭。我爷爷看了看我姐姐说:“哇。你是如此美丽。”之后,他转过来对我说,“你有一个漂亮的外套。”FML

By小小编辑发表于2009-03-03

FML囧文Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

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今天,我和那个可爱的家伙一起坐在长椅上。突然,他说:“我知道我们彼此不太了解,星期六可以一起吃晚饭吗?”我带着一个傻傻的微笑转向他,大声说:“我非常愿意!”他转过头奇怪的看着我,然后拿下了他了蓝牙耳机。 丫的,听歌能不能不要唱出来,啊?FML

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今天,我坐在长椅上这个可爱的家伙旁边。突然,他说:“我知道我们彼此不太了解,但是星期六你想一起吃晚饭吗?”我带着一个愚蠢的微笑转向他,大声说:“我愿意!”他给我一个奇怪的表情,转动他的头和指向他的蓝牙。FML

By小小编辑发表于2017-03-17

FML囧文Today, and every day since I got her, I leaned down to pour food and water into my cat's bowls. And today, like every single day, I forgot that my granite countertop sticks out a bit. I think part of my head is flat now. FML

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今天,自从我得到后的每一天,我都倾斜着把食物和水倒入我的猫的碗里。 今天,像每一天,我都忘了我的花岗岩台面伸出一点点。 我认为我的头顶现在可能是个平面。丫的,疼死老子了~

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今天,每一天,我得到她,我俯身把食物和水进入我的猫的碗。今天,每一天,我忘了我的花岗岩台面伸出一点。我想我的头是扁的。FML

By小小编辑发表于2013-04-12

FML囧文Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML

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就在刚刚,我选择继续做我的单身狗,前两个月交往了一个女孩,今天我深情款款的跟她讲“亲爱的,我爱你”,结果她好像看到了什么特别好笑的东西,指着我说“吆,瞧瞧哎,这是个什么东西啊?”实在忍不住了,我就让丫滚蛋了,跟心智不健全的女孩子交往真可怕。FML

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今天,我第一次告诉我的女友两个月,我爱她。她打破了笑声,开玩笑地问他,“你是什么,一种奇怪的吗?”当我约她5岁的时候,我可以发誓她比我大5岁。我猜不是。FML

By小小编辑发表于2010-10-12

FML囧文Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML

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今天,我的男朋友在我们在一起的1年中第一次带回家花和糖果。 想想他最后会说一些美妙的话,我很兴奋。 我问他为什么如此甜蜜,他回答说:“我以为你会以这种方式更好地分手。“滚~”

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今天,我男朋友1年来第一次给我带了鲜花和糖果。想到他要求婚,我就兴奋起来。我问他为什么是如此甜美,他回应道,“我以为你会以分手这种方式更好。”FML

By小小编辑发表于2013-01-16

FML囧文Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

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爷爷年纪大了,事情有时候会搞乱掉,刚才我去给他送饭,做的花菜,结果我爷爷就问我,“为什么今天的西蓝花 (老人家分不清楚啥是花菜啥是西蓝花) 是白色的?”于是我就解释说今天这个是花菜,不是西蓝花,没等我说完呢,老人家突然站起来指着我说我是苏联的间谍(来谋害他的),然后冲了出去。FML

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今天,我爷爷问我为什么我吃的花椰菜是白色的。我告诉他那是花椰菜。他不相信我,指责我是一个俄国间谍,然后冲了出去。FML

By小小编辑发表于2011-08-16

FML囧文Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. Ipromptly(adv. 迅速地;立即地;敏捷地) stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

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楼主在酒店做清洁工,酒店一般上午的时候客人都会退房走掉,空荡荡的,走在空荡荡的走廊里面突然舞兴大发,于是伸展双臂想象自己站在广阔的舞台上跳芭蕾,正在自以为是的时候突然想起来我们酒店是有摄像头监控的,我觉着我们监控室的哥们现在肯定以为我是个煞笔。FML

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今天,我在工作的时候很无聊。这使我开始热情地在空荡荡的走廊里跳芭蕾舞。我立即停下来,因为我记得监视摄像机。FML

By小小编辑发表于2010-05-25

FML囧文Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

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我女朋友撞门框上了,眼睛黑黑的,为了不让别人嘲笑她,现在所有的人都以为是我打的,。FML

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今天,我女朋友真的走进了一扇门,给了她一只黑色的眼睛。她不好意思承认,所以她告诉每个人我打败了她。FML

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