II. The Hope of a Better Situation

 

After the great baptism, Agnes was no more that puerile ignorant girl before the situation in Wellwood. The bud of this hope begins before Mrs. Bloomfield dismissed her. The lost of the first situation was a blow to her. Though vexed, harassed, disappointed, she was not yet weary of adventure, nor was willing to relax her efforts. She wanted to win over. But she had a worry. Before she came to Wellwood, she had gasconaded that she could do well in her duty. But now she was unable to keep her place as governess to three small children even for a single year, whose mother was asserted by her own aunt to be a 'very nice woman.' What would her family members think of her? They would not be willing to try her again. But her mind was mainly on the next situation. Thinking that she had been seasoned by adversity, and tutored by experience, she deserved some situations that are suitable for her. And she believed that not all parents were like Mr. and Mrs. Bloomfield, and not all children were like theirs. The next situation must be different, and any change must be for the better. No one of her family mentioned the dismission. It was certainly a great comfort to Agnes, and would fill her with some courage. During this time, Agnes, in the earnest prosecution of her studies, tried to recover what she had lost during her stay at Wellwood House. And before her return, all the debts of the family were nearly paid. To her disappointments, no one would touch a shilling of what she had so cheerfully earned and so carefully saved. As days passed, she would run out of money. So the passionate to get the next situation came again, after her remaining peaceably at home for a few months, in the quiet enjoyment of liberty and rest, and genuine friendship.

This time, her mother did not outcry stern word against her idea, and after some discussion, helped her to find a suitable situation. They searched the advertising columns of the newspapers, and wrote answers to every 'Wanted a Governess' that appeared at all eligible. And when she got letters, she would consult her mother. But her mother made her reject the situations one after another. At last, they decided to advertise Agnes’s talent themselves to get a better chance. At last, by her mother’s persuasion, she accepted the situation in the family of Mr. Murray, of Horton Lodge, near O-.

After the acceptance of this situation, Agnes was quite delighted, for she got a new chance to show herself off. Horton Lodge was less far than Wellwood. But it was not near from Agnes’ home, either. There was a pleasing excitement in the idea of entering these unknown regions, and making her way alone among its strange inhabitants. Bright visions mingled with her hopes, for she was told that the Murrays would treat his governess with due consideration as a respectable well- educated lady, the instructor and guide of his children, and not a mere upper servant. Because her pupils were older, they would be more rational, more teachable, and less troublesome than the Bloomfields’. They would not require that constant labour and incessant watching. The care of children and the mere duties of a governess had little or nothing to do to intensify her hope. She would never simply accept failures, and wanted to make up and win over! This hope was created by her Firmness, and Perseverance characteristics, and strengthened by the love her family provided her with.

She was with experiences this time, so she went with a much more ready head. At first she was determined to call the children Miss and Master. But she was much wiser this time. She discovered that this family was really a difference. They were more polite and amicable to her. So when she greeted the children, she just showed her open-hearted kindness and cordiality. The Murrays turned out to be more polite and reasonable. Their children, being much older than the formal family, were much easier to arrange, though their study were much left behind. Mrs. Murray looked in upon Agnes once or twice, during the absence of her pupils, for Mrs. Murray wanted the girls to get down to their study. Mrs. Murray was so extremely solicitous for the comfort and happiness of her children, and continually talking about it. Mrs. Murray never once mentioned Agnes’ treatment. Contrasted with the children, Agnes certainly felt the ignorance. The children were at home, surrounded by friends, but Agnes was an alien among strangers. The two sisters were much easier to be directed than Master Tom and Miss Marry. But Miss Matilda Murray was a veritable hoyden. The manner in which she learnt her lessons and practised her music was calculated to drive any governess to despair. As an animal, Matilda was all right, full of life, vigour, and activity. But as an intelligent being, she was barbarously ignorant, indocile, careless and irrational. Her mother was partly aware of her deficiencies, and gave Agnes many a lecture as to how Agnes should try to form her tastes, and endeavour to rouse and cherish her dormant vanity; and, by insinuating, skilful flattery, to win her attention to the desired objects. But Agnes insisted that one must learn something through efforts, and did not follow the way Mrs. Murray instructed, but did not irritate Mrs. Murray directly. Agnes really changed her way of thinking as well as manner.

Horton Lodge was situated nearly two miles from the village church, and, consequently, the family carriage was put in requisition every Sunday morning, and sometimes oftener. But Agnes was to sit into the corner farthest from the open window in the carriage, and with her back to the horses:  a position which invariably made her sick. The break to church should be one of welcome rest, and holy, calm enjoyment, but for whole day long Agnes was sitting in such a position, she only got a feeling of languor and sickliness, and the tormenting fear of its becoming worse. A depressing headache was generally her companion throughout the day. Miss Matilda discovered that Agnes was always sick in the carriage, so she started the talk about it. Her sister Rosalie indicates the main reason of this, and asked’ such a nasty, horrid place, Miss Grey; I wonder how you can bear it!' Agnes would have answered she is obliged to bear it, since no choice is left me. But her manner and way of thinking have been proved much by experiences, so she just answered 'Oh! it is but a short way, and if I am not sick in church, I don't mind it.' (Anne Brontë, 57)Agnes has changed her childish stubbornness. She was doing better this time. She has obtained a much better position and done well in her duty this time. Not only because this family are better, but also because that Agnes has changed. Agnes was in a constant state of agitation and anxiety all day long, but this time she was determined to take things coolly. Her staying at Horton Lodge, though not free as at home, became a pleasant experience on the whole.

The hope she started before her arriving of Horton Lodge has realized. It is inerrable to say that this was because the hope was made by being practical and realistic.