英语写作高分不难，纯正外教一字一改（一）

Maria是一名大一新生，主修国际经济贸易专业。大二计划辅修英语。一次外教英语直播课程上，我们认识。下面是她的一篇课堂作业。

Examinations and I, can’t get away from it all?
 
  As a student, it's not uncommon to field diverse exams（1）, no matter which grade you are in. Examinations, from primary school to university, likewise a compulsory course which our school life is filled with（2）. From where I stand, I don't regard it as a pleasant thing（3）, instead, it can be a torture（4） to some extent. The predominant factor is the impact exams have on me. I could hardly fall asleep neither before nor after it（5）, which put me through a tedious process. I have no alternatives but to recite, deal（6） with endless scientific problems day and night. Others are no exception（7）. The practice of taking an intentional break from exams has existed for decades, but ended in vain. Can't we get away from it all?

  Unfortunately, this may be sounded（8） like an absurd daydream, especially in the era we're living in（9）. With the rapid development of economy, the society has been bringing forth higher culture levels on us（10）. Therefore, putting education above all things is a necessity, from another perspective, receiving education is just what we should do. We are always struggling to escape the exams, how can we distinguish it from the escape from education?

  It can be seen from this that, getting away from exams is a pointless exercise. Rather than racking our brains in scheming to deal with the so-called enemy, why can't we adjust our attitude towards it? None of us wants to be a prisoner in study（11）, but have we ever thought about the positive respect the（12） exams can offer? By taking exams, we can train ourselves both in speed and the quality（13）, and above all, examine how much knowledge we've absorbed and take measures to fill the leaks（14）, which contributes to the next learning stage. In summary, it's vitally important to treat the exams properly, learn（15） to live with them with our positive thinking（16）.

我特意把这篇作文拿给外教做了修改，在这里分享出来：

地道美国外教帮你修改作文

（1）：diverse这个词专指多样性，用在这里不合适。改成several即可。

（2）：这句话表意不明。改成 “Examinations, from primary school to university, are a compulsory thing which our school lives is filled with.”

（3）：a pleasant thing这种表达，在外教眼里是非常过时的，读起来有一种写文章的人已经故去的感觉。改成enjoyable即可

（4）：a torture这种用法常出现在诗歌里，考试作文不适合这种诗化的表达。改成 torturous即可。

（5）：这句话读起来很难理解。改成 “I could hardly sleep before or after it”

（6）：逗点改成 “and”。只有两重排列时用and。三重排列时前两重中间用逗点。

（7）：Others在这里表意不明。改成 “Other students”。

（8）：这里不需要用被动语态。sound做动词时是“听起来”的意思，无需被动语态，直接写成“this may sound”即可。

（9）：这里可以加上从句引导词“that”，可使表意更明确。

（10）：整句话中有诸多表意奇怪之处，外教给出更地道的说法“With rapid econmoic development society has been bringing forth higher cultural standards on us.”

（11）：prisoner to study, 不用in，用to。

（12）：用词不当，respect改成aspect。同时添加从句引导词“that”

（13）：这里不需要“the”。如果用“the quality”，那后面要有解释：the quality of what?

（14）：用词不当，改成“fill in the blanks”即可。

（15）：和（6）一样的毛病，逗点改成and。

（16）：our去掉更好。

遇到爱学习的孩子，总是很开心。

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以上是初次修改，只做了简单的词句调整。等最终修改后，再更新完整修改稿。

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