Money is not omnipotent, but no money is impossible to do anything. Once come to this world, money is essential, without which, it would be difficult to walk or live. Money plays a vital role in our daily life. Due to its importance, it is one of the rulers to measure affection to some extent. It has to say that sometimes, the ruler is really accurate to measure kinship, love and friendship …… Personally, the ruler is made to measure love.
Once thought that love is priceless, such holy affection should not be measured by money. When passionately in love, most women do not bother much about money. In addition, nowadays equality of male and female is advocated, it is not rational to make men undertake the love expenditure, which is reasonable but not justified. Women can refuse men to cover all the expenditure, after all marriage has not been guaranteed, it is not unjustifiable to make one to pay for everything. But it is by no means that everything should go Dutch, or it will make the affection impure. From the ancient time, female is ladykin, male should be strong and powerful. Since Pan Gu created heaven and earth, females are weenie and mean, while males are expected to be generous. It is not saying that women should be mean, it is nature that most women are more mean than most men due to physical and psychological constructs. If a woman being like that, it is understandable and acceptable while a similar man will be blamed. To sum up, if a man is fussy about what he has paid out, then the relationship should be treated prudently.
Men usually complain about big expense in a relationship. However, it will not be a big spending on occasional food, movie and shopping. It is by no means that every meal is costly food, every day purchasing brandname products, they are not worth mentioning compared to high cost of living such as everyday food, children’s power and education, car or housing loan after marriage. It is hard to image that a man would be willing to undertake household responsibility when he is fussy about what he has paid in a relationship before marriage. There is no regulation that men should pay more, men should support a family, but men should have the mind and the capability. If a man is too mean to spend money on you, then he does not love you at all. It may sounds extreme, but it is a truth. No matter how much he has, as long as he spends some on you, is enough. He may not love you truly if he is willing to spend, but surely he does not love you if he is unwilling. So many men swear that they love you and will support your lives, but they require you to give up dignity and freedom when you have given up your career and asking for money. So many men complain that their wives do not make money while spend too much. There are women wailing that they dare not to buy expensive cosmetics and new clothes, they even dare not to visit their relatives. Because each of those needs money, while the men who promised to support and love them all their lives control their spending constantly.
What has discussed is not saying that women should accept men’s money or letting men to spend. Moreover, Confucianism proposes that courtesy demands reciprocity. If one receives rose, she should return with fragrant. No matter affection or present, is priced clearly. Acquisition needs return eventually, just as that there is no free lunch on this world. Everything needs to be done moderately. However, it is the last choice that to be too “noble”, lost money while paying out one’s feeling, or you will only hurt yourselves. It is reported that there is a girl in her twenties has spent over one hundred thousand on her “boyfriend” during two years’ cohabitation. The “boyfriend” brought many presents for “himself” while the girl made the payment. Consequently, she found she has dated with another girl for over two years. When a man ask for money frequently, the relationship is abnormal. Certainly, it is extreme case. But surely, the marriage would not be happy if a man make a fuss on his payment in a relationship.
So what is more important, affection or money? In my opinion, both of them are important. They are inseparably interconnected. The affection is not sincere when unwilling to spend money, while unwilling to pay out feeling is a trade. One may argue that we love each other but we are economically independent. Economic independence should be advocated but if everything goes Dutch or one complains when he pays more then it is by no means there is love. Economic independence means that both are capable of supporting themselves, but it does not mean that every spending should be reckoned, which is similar to strangers who merely share a house. It sounds exaggerated, but it makes sense. Women should be with men who are willing and pleased to spend money on us, meanwhile, we should be able to refuse their money. When they provide rose, we should be capable of offering fragrant in return.
‘Please leave my son, I will give you one million RMB !’ How ridiculous. It only happens in TV programs, while seldom happens in the reality. In the stories, Cinderella and Price loves each other very much while the Queen is always the oponent. Money is valuable, love is more precious. Spoony Cinderella always chooses love while ignore the money. While sitting there watching, have you felt an irresistible impluse to ask yourselves about this question? ‘I will absolutely leave if give me 10 million RMB’. In an acquisitive society, how many people are able to prevent themselves from tempting with money? How many people give up love due to problem of money?
To some extent, marriage means expenditure. From the appartments, cars, and fete before marriage, to basic necessities of life, baby raising after marriage, everthing binds to money. It is well known that without money one is unbale to make a move. Most elders point out the importance of appropriateness, the importance of economic condition. In marriage market, men are required to have both appartments and cars. If a man has an appartment and a car, he will be regarded has good condition, if he possesses both which are fully paid then will be regared as has superior condition, if he owns luxurious appartment or cars then will be advertised as with superexcellent condition. Although money is not omniponet, it is able to purchase leisure, ease and respect, it is able to satisfy one’s vanity and curiosity…… So compared with love, money is more powerful. Is love able to exchange for food, is love able to exchange for easiness, is love able to reduce hardness? Generally speaking, the answer is negative. Even if there is love, food is to be brought by money, housework is to be done, hardness from workplace is to be overcome. Compared to money which is tangible, love is intangible. Love changes as time goes by, no one knows how its change influences on daily life. As to money, the influence from its change is predictable with around 2% to 3% CPI increase each year. So some gilrs prefer to cry in BMW rather than laugh on bicycles.
There was an internet questionnaire asking whether a woman is willing to receive 110 thousand yuan per month while not seeing her husband. Most people replied with funny and chilly answers. A majority of them were pleased about the amount of the money and the disappearance of their husbands. They sighed that once entered marriage, love no longer exists. The men who promised to keep out wind and rain for them brings furious storm. The men who promised to take care of them the whole life accepts their offer with an wase conscience. Marriage brings sons instead of husbands to them. Being single is much better than being a married housemaid.
Which is more valuable, love or money? The answer is clear. Marriage with love will end up with so many problems, sois there any neecessity to guard the marriage merely with love? At this moment it seems that it is not reasonable to critise women who have given up love due to money or to critise elders who give priority to economic condition. However, it has to say that from the ancient times, love, the elusive feeling which comes by accident is the essence to marriage to some women, while money is not. There are so many noble and touching love stories, mutual support and care is able to overcome any hardship in daily life. Actually, what women require is very simple, it is enough to have someone who care them and accompany them, while appartments and cars are external things which are not essential. As long as two people work together, money will come gradually, appartment and cars will be brought finally, everything will be better as time goes by. Money is able to buy plenty of things except affection. However much the amount of money, it is unable to fulfill the empty souls. True love is like harbour for the heart. No matter what happens, there is a place to rest the heart.
Many men complain that women are very materrialistic, but have they searched for the reasons? Women would not be like that if the love is not so intangible, if the promise is not so indiscreet? Women are afriad that nothing would be left if they immerse in love too much while ignore the importance of money. If there is no love, please offer money, if both of them is absent, please get away.
Although reality is cruel with hard life and intangible love, still hope each of you get married because of love. If there is love, then no difficult matters. Just like Echo and Jose:
Jose asked Echo: what kind of person would you like to marry?
Echo: if I like, I would marry a multimillionaire; if I do not like, I would marry a billionaire.
Jose: after all is said, you would like to marry a rich man.
Echo took a look at Jose: there is an exception.
What if you are going to marry me? Jose asked.
Echo sighed: if it is you, then it is enough to have money merely for food.
Do you eat much? Jose asked.
Not much and I can eat less in the future.’