Summary
Just like the history of human being, I'd like to divide my life into two parts:Before Christ (B.C.)and After Death.(A.D.). The first part was a tragedy, fulled with dark, pain, curse and desperate. The second part is colorful, there are always accompany by peace, joy and love. The woman here talking is totally a new person compared the old Flycee before May 8, 2016.
As Lord said in Acts chapter1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you. and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." So, though my English is poor, Jesus' words give me power to tell my true story to encourage you missionaries here. I want to say, China need Gospel so much, Chinese need your help urgently!
Self-Introduction and life experience(B.C)
Child-hood
I was born in a small village in northwest of Hubei province in 1980, 2 years after China reform and opening-up policy. I have a carefree childhood in a harmonious three children's home. Climbed the mountains and threes, played on the grass, made friends with flowers, insects, fishes, searched and ate wild fruits with other children. I thanks Lord love me so much since I was young. I learnt what is love from the old generations: be goodness to other people.
Teenager
When I was 13, I began to think about the meaning of life. Some old people told me " the purpose of life is to raise up next generation." The middle-aged people said" it's to build a successful career and a happy family.", The teacher encourage us to have a dream and fight for it until it realized. I was confused. One day, when I read a book "How the Steel Was Tempered", my heart was touched by the words of Nikolai Ostrovsky“Man's dearest possession is life. It is given to him but once, and he must live it so as to feel no torturing regrets for wasted years, never know the burning shame of a mean and petty past; so live that, dying, he might say: all my life, all my strength were given to the finest cause in all the world──the fight for the Liberation of Mankind” Then and there I was too young, have no such big ambition, so I decided do persuade my dreams-----to be a happy and excellent person, to be useful to the world.
Adult
As we know, if we don't know God, dream is always just a dream. Life always filled with unhappy and disappoint. I tried hard to prove my value both in career and in family. But what I received are always harmfulness. There are always higher standards in my heart, as well as my families. I always set higher standard for me, always think I am not good enough, even the other people say I am good. But I don't trust them. So I was always burdened.
Turning Point
In the first day of China's new year in 2013, my dear dad was passed away after his heart valve replacement surgery. His eyes were opened largely with many regrets: a lot of debts, an unmarried son and an old wife, his unfinished dreams. My heart fulled with lose, fear and worry then and there. I realized that life is so weak, so short. What's the true meaning of life? I don't hope I will leave this world just like my dad, but I don't know where is the way.
God loves me so much. He placed a Christian friends in my life since 2007. I think she must always prayed for me. Because of the relationship with her, I admired a little about Christianity. In 2012, one of my colleague sent me a Bible since she got know I was interested in this religion.
One day , when I read Mathew 6:25, the verse was alive:"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" At that moment, the words produced a strong power, just like an effective good medicine, healed my worry and upset. A big comfort and peace came into my heart.
From then on, I was very interested to read Bible Mathew(easy to understand). But I did not go to the church. I continued to pursue the successful of career to prove my value. I started my own tiny business since 2015 May, it's another dream of my life. The process fulled with hard. I couldn't achieve the goal which I set to myself, both myself and my husband blamed me. At last I was depressed so much, lost my interesting in anything, including food, I lost my gustation. There is no any concern in my family and friends.
Be saved(A.D)
In May of 2016, one sister in our community found me, invited me to the church. Before then, she didn't know me. We had a common friend who told her there is a Bible in my home, so she though I might be a Christian. I don't know why, when she invited me, there came a desire immediately in my heart. So I went to Xiashangtang dated May 8, 2016. From then on, I did not leave church. I studied Bible eagerly, sent a lot of time to know more about Lord, establish relationship with brothers and sisters, serve in children's Sunday school, small groups and Mum's fellow ship, tell gospels like a fire. Now there are 9 people believed which including my daughter, my mum and sister. God blessed my family!
Now I changed my sight to the world. God loves every one, I am learning accept myself completely, my weakness, the disadvantages, even the pox in my face, as well as the other people, give up all my judgement, just see them like a respect people which have God's glory shape.
JOHN 14:6 Jesus answered:"I am the way and the truth and the life." I am blessed, I was new born, my soul is free now. because Jesus use his whole life show us the perfect example. What is the true meaning of life? Knowing Jesus, study his word, follow him.
I wrote down my epitaph in the end of 2017:" This is a woman who loved God, loved human, She has finished the commission what God gave her." Now God is training me as a soldier build my faith on his words instead of circumstance. I just got the teacher's license of relationship between parents and children from a Christian educate institution, this course will bring parents nearer to God.
Hope
The future will be fulled with adventure and challenge, but I am not afraid, because God is with me forever! HABAKKUK 3:17"Though the fig free does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, tough the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior."
As an ordinary Chinese people, Here I represent my own country express our warmly welcome, highly respect and thankfulness for all your efforts for saving lives here. When you change a man, you are changing a whole family, when the families changed, you are changing all nations! God bless you!