2021.6.8
【分享】
萨古鲁：修行路上如何处理伴侣关系？
People whom you love are not easy. Transform yourself in such a way, being in your presence, unknowingly their cup will turn around.
你爱的人不好相处。转化自己，于是有你在，他们会不知不觉地发生转变。
As far as your spiritual process is concerned, anyway you are alone.
就你的灵性过程而言，反正你都是独自一人。
Participant: Namaskaram Sadhguru. I am in a relationship with a very bitter person who is not interested in spirituality. How can I handle my relationship without losing my way on the spiritual path?
提问者：Namaskaram 萨古鲁。我正在同一个刻薄的人交往。他对灵性不感兴趣。我该怎么处理好我的关系，同时不在灵性道路上迷失方向？
Sadhguru:If your concern is your spiritual growth only, then if you have a demon for your partner, that’s the best thing (Laughter), but your partner, your husband, wife is not just about spiritual growth. You also want to have a pleasant life in the family. Then you have to... choose, someone who like… whom you like, but little… there’s a…any human being on the planet, there is something that you don’t like about them. Isn't it so?
Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：如果你关注的只是你的灵性成长，那么如果你的伴侣是个恶魔，那才再好不过（笑）。但你的伴侣，你的丈夫，妻子不仅仅关乎灵性的成长，你还想有一个愉快的家庭生活。那么你必须选择，选一个你喜欢的人，但总会有一点......地球上任何一个人，都有你不喜欢的那一面。不是吗？
Participants: Yes.
提问者：是的。
Sadhguru:So, you use that part of it for your spiritual growth, and the rest of it you enjoy (Laughs), just as life. So, if your intention is to have a good family, then some rapport is needed between two people. Otherwise it won’t work. Especially if you have produced children, then rapport is must, otherwise you will foul the new life that’s come up. If you create a foul atmosphere, you will foul up the new life that is coming up. Nobody has any right to do that actually, but people are doing it. But no human being has any right…you can mess yourself up as much as you want, that’s up to you. But you can’t mess up a fresh life that’s just coming up.
Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：因此，你利用这个部分来帮助你的灵性成长，其余的你用来享受（笑），就像享受生命一样。所以，如果你的目的是拥有一个好的家庭，那么你们两人之间就需要一些默契，否则就不可能。特别是当你有了孩子以后，那么默契就是必需的，否则就会污染那个新来的生命。如果你制造出一种污浊的氛围，你会玷污那个刚到来的生命。其实没人有权利这样做，但人们正在这么做，但没有人有这个权力。你想怎么搞砸自己都可以，那是你的事。但你不能搞砸了才刚刚到来的鲜活的生命。
So, if you are looking for good life, family life, then one has to find rapport and that rapport means some areas of commonality at least. But if you are looking for spiritual life, it doesn’t matter what kind of person he is. You can use everything for your growth, everything for your growth, if that’s all your focus is.
所以，如果你寻求美好的生活，家庭生活，那么你就得有默契。而这种默契意味着至少有一些共通之处。但如果你寻求灵性生活，那么对方是怎样的人就无所谓了。你可以利用一切来促进你的成长。一切都可以为你的成长服务，如果你只关注这点的话。
But generally your focus is both ways, you want to have a little bit of that and little bit of this. It’s a mixed affair. So, it gets little complex. So, to build a rapport takes effort, takes compromise, takes love, endurance (Laughs), takes endurance, you know. Somebody is constantly like this, you want to build rapport with that person, but you don’t want to go his way. That takes lots of endurance. Yes or no? People whom you love are not easy. So, what can you do? One thing is to transform yourself in such a way, being in your presence, unknowingly their cup will turn around.
但一般来说，你两方面都关注。你想有一点那个，还想有一点这个，这是一个混合体，所以，它有点复杂。要建立默契需要努力，需要妥协、需要爱、忍耐（笑），需要耐力，你知道的。有的人总是这样（手势），你想与那个人建立默契，但你不想顺着他的方向去，那就需要大量的忍耐。是不是这样？你爱的人不容易相处。那么，你能做些什么呢？一件事就是要转化自己，使得有你在，他们会不知不觉地转变。
Just yesterday some (Laughs)…you know, the other day, I just went out in the rain, I went out and it started raining and I was carrying both my India phones, because I was expecting some calls and…and… I mean one is India, one is Europe, one is America, three phones I had. One I had in my jacket, other in my trouser pockets, and by the time I got here, it got wet and both the phones just burnt up.
就在昨天，有一些（笑）......你知道，那天，我让雨淋了，我出门就下雨了，我带着我的两个印度手机，因为我正等着一些电话和......我的意思是，一个是印度的，一个是欧洲的，一个是美国的，我有三个手机。我的外套里有一个，另一个在我的裤子口袋里。而当我来到这里的时候，湿透了，两部手机烧坏了。
Then people around me were telling me, “Sadhguru, why carry two phones? Now, we can have two SIM cards in one phone, if you hold it like this you can speak on the India SIM card, if you turn it around, it just shifts into the other SIM card. You don’t have to switch anything.” Just this way it handles one SIM card, if you turn it around it handles another SIM card. You have to become like this (Laughter). I was very suspicious of this phone. I didn’t get it, but (Laughter)… but you must become like this - if you wish to take people who are around you, with you. If you want to walk alone, it’s very easy; if you want to take people with you, then it takes a considerable amount of effort.
然后周围的人跟我说："萨古鲁，为什么要带两部手机？现在，我们可以把两张SIM卡放进一部手机。如果你这样拿着就可以用印度SIM卡打电话，如果你把它倒转过来，就切换到另一张SIM卡。你什么都不用管。"这个样子它运行一张SIM 卡，你把它转过来就运行另一张SIM 卡。你也得像这样（笑声）。我对这种手机很怀疑，我没用它，但（笑）……但你必须变成这个样子——如果你想带上身边的人，和你一起同行。如果你想独自前行，这很容易；如果你想带着人一起走，那么这需要相当大的努力。
When Gautama was asked this question, “Is it better to walk alone on the path or with a companion?” He is… he is not like me, he is dry (Laughs). He said, “It’s better to walk alone than to walk with a fool” (Laughter). He is not saying don’t walk with anybody. He is not saying don’t have companions, but he said, “It’s better to walk alone than walk with a fool.” Because they can drain you, they can take such a lot of energy and time and you don’t know, they may be stronger than you and they may take you their way than you taking them your way (Laughs). There is every possibility. Yes?
当乔达摩被问到这个问题时，"是一个人走这条路好，还是结伴更好？"他呢...... 他不像我，他的表达很直接（笑）。他说："与其和愚人同行，不如一人独行。"（笑）。他并没说不要和 他人一起走。他没说不要找同伴，但他说："与其和愚人同行，不如一人独行。"因为他们可以让你精疲力竭，他们可以耗费你很多的能量和时间，而且说不定他们可能比你更强大。很可能是他们带你走上他们的路，而不是你带他们走你的路（笑）。什么都有可能， 对吗？
So, I won’t say what Gautama said. All I’m saying is, it doesn’t matter how you walk, as far as your spiritual process is concerned, anyway you are alone. Nobody is with you. It’s only the bodily process, the material process of life, which you can share with people. You come alone and you go alone, isn't it? Even if you have a twin brother or a twin sister, you still come alone and go alone, isn't it so? So, when it comes to the spirit, anyway you walk alone. So, don’t mix that up.
所以，我不会说乔达摩说的话。我只想说，你怎样走并不重要，对你的灵性过程来说，反正你都是一个人。没有人和你在一起。只有涉及身体的过程，生命的物质过程，你可以与人分享。你一个人来，你一个人走，不是吗？即使你有一个双胞胎兄弟或双胞胎姐妹，你还是独自一人来，独自一人走，不是吗？所以，当涉及到灵性时，无论如何你都是独自前行。所以，不要混淆了。
So, that part of it, you handle well. The material part of it according to your capability, to what extent you can do it, you do it. They come your way, it’s wonderful. If they don’t, it’s all right. Don’t grudge them. It’s just that you don’t have to go that way. Maybe someday when the doctor tells you, “Your liver is in a bad state,” he may seek divine, you know. Yes?
所以灵性的部分，你把它处理好。至于物质部分，根据你自己的能力，你能做到什么程度，你就做到什么程度。如果他们来跟随你，那很好。如果他们不这样做，没关系。不要怨恨他们。只是你没有必要走他们的路。也许有一天，当医生告诉你，"你的肝脏状态很不好，"他可能就会寻求神性了，是吧。对吗？
Have you seen people who are walking in the morning, not everybody, there are certain type of people, these are all over fifty, fifty-five age group people? They have become lean, and they are walking briskly, everyday religiously they are there. These are all people who generally had a cardiac problem. They almost died. Then their doctor told them, “Either you do this or you’re gone.” Now their walking is like a religion, not Sunday morning, every morning (Laughs). Have you seen those people? Suddenly they transform. They eat properly. They do everything properly, because the fear of life and death has come.
你见过那些早上晨走的人么？并非所有人，只是有一部分人，这些都是五十、五十五岁以上年龄段的人。他们已经变得精瘦，而且他们走得很轻快。他们恪守信仰般地天天在那儿晨走。这些人通常都是有过心脏问题的人。他们曾差点死掉。然后他们的医生告诉他们："要么你做这个，要么你就会死。"于是他们的晨走就像是宗教信仰。不只是周日早上，而是每天早上（笑）。你见过那些人吗？突然间，他们转化了。他们吃得很适当，他们做每件事都很有分寸，因为对生死的担忧来了。
So, different people need different kinds of impetus. If you are sensible, you learn by just looking. If you are not sensible, you learn by thrashing - life will thrash you. The material part of your life is never hundred percent proper, it never can be. Isn't it so? Is there any family which is a perfect family? Is there any relationship which is a perfect relationship? Is there any business which is a perfect business? Is there any career which is a perfect career? There is no such thing, don’t seek that. Your life will become wasteful and fanciful if you seek such things. They all happen to the extent you are capable of handling them, that’s all. So, you make sure the spiritual part of your life, you handle it one-hundred percent properly.
所以，不同的人需要不同类型的动力。如果你够明智，你只需要看看就学会了。如果你不明智，那你挨顿鞭子之后才会学到。生活会抽打你。你生活中的物质部分从来都不会完全如意，那是永远不可能的。不是吗？有哪个家庭是完美的家庭？有哪个关系是完美的关系？有什么生意是完美的生意？有什么职业是完美的职业？没有这样的事情，不要追求那个。如果你寻求这样的东西，你会浪费生命并活在幻想中。周遭如何发生，取决于你的应对能力，仅此而已。所以，你要确保你生活中的灵性部分，你百分之百地管理好。
【反思】
昨天晚上本来想说在实验室学习一会，但因为有人讨论，所以没法安心听视频。看到有其他小伙伴约打乒乓球就干脆去运动了。当你没有足够的注意力学习的时候，运动便是很好的方式。可以放松一下心情，也可以立马转移一下注意力，然后再去学习。我不会再抱怨说哎呀好烦呀，为什么不能去其他地方讨论，而是当你觉得那不是你喜欢的环境时，你可以离开。你可以去找寻适合你的地方适合你的时间来做你想要做的事情。就是这样，慢慢变得从容而美丽。