A&Q
1. Why “we are wrong about everything?”
Growth is a iterative process. When we learn something new, we don’t go from ‘wrong’ to “right”. Rather ,we go from wrong to slightly less wrong .And when we learn something additional, we go from slightly less wrong to slightly less wrong than that, and then to even less wrong than that, and so on. We are always in the process of approaching truth and perfection without actually ever reaching truth or perfection.
2.What caused the “false memory syndrome”?
When our minds are process new experiences, we tend to interpret them in such a way that they will cohere with all of our previous experiences, feelings, and beliefs. But we often run into life situations where past and present cohere :on such occasions, what we are experiencing in the moment flies in the face of everything we’ve accept as true and reasonable about our past. In an effort to achieve coherence, our minds will sometimes in case like that invent false memories. This process and the state of mind it resulted In is called “false memory syndrome”.
3. Tell us a story where you had adamantly thought you were right, but later you found you were wrong.
My sister has a boyfriend, who has no stable job nor a agreeable personality. His parents also owed the bank much money .None of my family members like him. Because in my metric, a good relationship must has a material base(such as good job, big house and no debt). Besides my sister has a good job and higher academic level. She can easily finds some guy who is much better than him. But in my sister eyes, he is quite good-looking and considerate and genuine. My mother and I admonish her nonstop for her wrong choice by listing some miserable marriages caused by such kind of relationship. We told her what we said all for her own sake. Because of our disapproval, my sister seldom goes home, and apparently she was disappointed with us and felt unhappy. One day when I called her and asked her to break up with his boyfriend, she said sternly she didn’t care about his material background. She even pointed out that when I got married, I didn’t have a big house, a car and even my husband had a poorer parents. But now I live a pretty good life. She just wanted me to realize that she didn’t care anything except his boyfriend .She believed in his boyfriend’s ability and they can gain what they want .It proved to be a happy ending .
4.How to be little less certain of yourself ? Please include a personal example.
Questioning ourselves and doubting our own thoughts and belief is one of the hardest skills to develop. But it can be done and the following questions can help breed less certain of myself:
(1)what if I am wrong?
(2)what would it mean if I were wrong?
(3)would being wrong create a better or a worse problem than my current problem, for both myself and others?
Words and expressions:
1. But since the engagement, my friend’s brother has been admonishing her nonstop about her immature life choice.
admonish: If you admonish someone, you tell them very seriously that they have done something wrong. 告诫,劝诫
Eg: They admonished me for taking risks with my health.
2. But when the relationship sours…(熟词生义)
Sour: If a friendship, situation, or attitude sours or if something sours it, it becomes less friendly, enjoyable, or hopeful. 使变糟; 变糟
Eg: Relations between the two friends have soured.
3…that she used to harass me as well as people close to me.
harass: If someone harasses you, they trouble or annoy you, for example by attacking you repeatedly or by causing you as many problems as they can.使困扰，使烦恼
eg: The boss of this company harasses his female co-workers.
4…they must feel an unwavering certainty in their own righteousness.
Unwavering: If you describe a feeling or attitude as unwavering, you mean that it is strong and firm and does not weaken. (情感、态度)强烈的; 坚定的
Eg: His determination to go to the west to be a voluntary teacher is unwavering.
My thoughts:
Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is for certain until it has already happened-and even then, it’s still debatable.
任何事情在未发生之前我们都不能确定他的结果是好是坏，无论是过于肯定好的结果还是消极的等待失败的到来。我自认为我是一个悲观主义者，也可以说过度自卑吧，这也许和自己的外貌有关，从不会主动在公共场合发言，也很少主动提出自己的想法。上学的时候如此，工作亦如此。2015年我跟风式地去报了驾校，学驾照，其实内心也是想证明一下自己。我本来就胆小，再加上方向感不强，所以学起来很吃力，忍受了教练的白眼，厌烦，同班学员的嘲笑，自己对自己的否定在否定，再加上酷热的天气，内心几近崩溃，感觉智商达到了历史新低。几次想放弃，可是想到在丈夫面前夸下的海口，还是默默的坚持着，每天早出晚归，看着其他学员嬉笑打闹，感觉特讽刺，自己是那么的格格不入。临近考试，教练悄悄地对其他学员说对我根本不抱希望，不可能考过。听了挺伤心的，难道自己心理不也是这么想的吗？考试那天，出奇的意外，竟然顺利地考过了科二。那次之后，我回想了自己二十几年的生活，认为自己考不上大学，认为自己找不到满意的工作，认为自己在工作中得不到认可，学生不喜欢自己的课，认为自己拿不到驾照。。。一直生活在自己的消极的想象里，生活在假想的结果里，是时候走出来了，未发生之前，一切都是未知数。耕耘2018，静等花开.