Section 7 - Part 1 -～～1| Helping Children Deal with Their Feelings

【赏析者】（姓名）

Child’s Situation(Role-Playing)

I. The doctor said that you have an allergy and need to have shots every week so that you won’t sneeze so much. Sometimes the shots are painful and sometimes you hardly feel them at all. The shot you had today was the kind that really hurt. After you leave the doctor’s office, you want your parents to know how it felt.

【段落大意】

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Your parent will respond to you in two different ways. The first time, your feelings will be denied, but keep trying to get your parent to understand anyway. When the conversation comes to a natural conclusion, ask yourself what your feelings were and share your answer with the person who is role-playing with you.

【段落大意】

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Start the scene by rubbing your arm and saying,
“The doctor nearly killed me with that shot!”

【段落大意】

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II. The situation is the same, only this time your parent will respond differently. Again, when the conversation comes to a natural conclusion ask yourself what your feelings were this time and share your answer.

【段落大意】

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Begin the scene in the same way, by saying,
“The doctor nearly killed me with that shot!”
When you’ve played the scene twice, you might want to reverse roles so that you can experience the parent’s point of view.

【段落大意】

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Parent’s Situation (Role-Playing)

I. You have to take your child for allergy shots every week. Although you know your youngster dreads going, you also know that most of the time the shots just hurt for a second. Today, after leaving the doctor’s office your child complains bitterly.

【段落大意】

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You’ll be playing the scene twice. The first time, try to get your child to stop complaining by denying his or her feelings. Use the following statements (if you like, you can make up some of your own):
“Come on, it can’t hurt that much.”
“You’re making a big fuss over nothing.”
“Your brother never complains when he has a shot.”
“You’re acting like a baby.”
“Well, you’d better get used to those shots. After all, you’re going to have to get them every week.”

【段落大意】

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When the conversation comes to a natural conclusion, ask yourself what your feelings were and share your answer with the person who is role-playing with you.
Your child will start the scene.

【段落大意】

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II. The scene is the same, only this time you will really listen.
Your responses will show that you can both hear and accept whatever feelings your child might express. For example:
“Sounds as if it really hurt.”
“Mmmm, that bad!”
“Wouldn’t it be great if someone would discover a pain-free way to treat allergies?”
“It’s not easy to get these shots week after week. I bet you’ll be glad when they’re over.”

【段落大意】

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When the conversation comes to a natural conclusion, ask yourself what your feelings were this time and share your answer.
Your child will start the scene again.

【段落大意】

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When you’ve played the scene twice, you might want to reverse roles so that you can experience the child’s point of view.When you played the child whose feelings were brushed aside and denied, did you find yourself becoming more and more angry? Did you start out being upset about your shot and end up being mad at your parent?

【段落大意】

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When you played the parent who tried to stop the complaining, did you find yourself getting more and more irritated with your “unreasonable” child?

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That’s usually the way it goes when feelings are denied. Parents and children become increasingly hostile toward each other.

【段落大意】

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Parent, when you were accepting of your child’s feelings, did you sense the fight going out of your interchange? Did you experience your power to be genuinely helpful?

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Child, when your feelings were accepted, did you feel more respected? More loving toward your parent? Was the pain easier to bear when someone knew how much it hurt? Could you face it again next week?

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When we acknowledge a child’s feelings, we do him a great service. We put him in touch with his inner reality. And once he’s clear about that reality, he gathers the strength to begin to cope.

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