2021-06-29 “I’m Sorry” habit

“I’m sorry” has been misused and mistreated, to the point that it has lost its meaning. We offer it up in so many situations — sometimes well-meaning, sometimes as a way of just ending the conversation and moving on to something else. Thus, many of us don’t trust it even when someone sincerely speaks it to us.

So I’m trying something new, something I learned from a friend.

It advice couldn’t be more simple: Instead of saying “I’m sorry,” say, “Thank you for understanding.”

Ten minutes late for a meeting? I got stuck in the store, thank you for understanding!
Big typo in an important email? Oops! I’ll spell-check next time. Thanks for understanding.

Because the truth is, when you say you’re sorry to someone, you are giving up power. This is something women and people in minority groups are trained from a young age to do very easily and very quickly.

It removes the shame of the thing which has happened, and replaces it with a note of gratitude. Thank you for understanding says, I acknowledge what I did. I see you, and I trust you that you see me — a human being who is a work in progress. A person who is just like you.