How many times are you hopeless?
How many times are you helpless?
And, how many times are you fearless?
When I was young, my mom asked the forune teller about my faith "This girl couldn't be too happy, otherwise bad luck will come " 男儿命女儿身，劳苦坎坷，终其一生..
“Wholely shit!” I tell my myself!!! My life must be great, wonderful,fantastic!
No one comands my life! I believe What saves me is to take a step, then another and another, a step once a time. Go ahead! It is always the same, but you have to make it!
However, In 2016,I got divorced as a house wife. Since i chose to take care of my weak son, I hadn't been connecting with my family, my friends often. Jobless, familyless, friendless, definitely hopeless, helpless. Whatever I had been cherishing, gone. Whatever I had valued the most, vanished. i became alcoholic, but even with alcohol, I still suffer from insominia for 2 years. Every time I was drunk, I asked god"Why it's me? Am I deserved it?""Hey god! do you know how tough my life have been? Why ?when achieved a promising career , you take it ?" Why ?when i am enjoying great happiness, you cease in such a sudden!" If...if...if...
Aren't you being sarcastic? True
Lloyd Blankfein said: If you're on a beach and a tsunami hits, you'll drowm whether you're a small child or an Olympic swimmer. Some things will go bad no matter how good you are!
Now and then, it's good to pause in your pursuit of happiness, let it go.........
One day, my dad called me: "My girl, I've got the news, how are you?" “I am okay” ''Coming home,then?"'I am okay !!! Please don't bother me, dad! Enough... I 've suffered enought....' "But life is long girl, you still have to go ahead.......""If all else perished, remember you remain! You are the great fortune of your own! Martin Luther King said "if you can't fly, run,; if you can't run ,walk; if you can't walk , crawl; but by all means keep moving!" Go Ahead! My girl!
Ever since then I wrapped up my past, dompped my sadness, anxiety, fear! Go ahead, I could be rebuilt! Soon I backed to a financial company, worked day and night relentlessly. The stunning me back again! I bought a Land Rover just with one month's commission! I felt like I was the queen of my peers! Unfortunatedly, a few months later, my boss run abroad with the money of mine and all my clients. Life is always ready to punch you badly when you are unprepared. The higher you climbed, the heavier you fell! Sacarstic, the fortune teller must be right!!
This time, I ran, was ran away. To Hainan, To Xinjiang To Yunan, anywhere far far far away.....One day, I arrived in Tibet, from time to time, I saw believers crouch down, use your hand to scratch the ground...磕长头
On the road leading to Lhasa in various places, preyers keep doing this, starting from their distant hometowns, wearing protective gear in their hands, knee pads, and a fur garment hanging on their front bodies, covered in dust, all along the road.
Suddenly, Martin Luther King's word jumped into my head;" if you can't fly run,; if you can't run ,walk; if you can't walk , crawl; but by all means keep moving!" Go Ahead!
Now I am standing here. Settling in semiconductor industry well, obtained a master degree from overseas. I am reshaped! ! By no means of life interrupting my fate.Maybe sometimes I am still hopeless,helpless with something unknown, something challenging, but I am always fearless! No matter what life is ahead of me! By all means , I am hopeful! Hi you, are you ready? Go ahead!