哈佛公开课《Positive Psychology 1504》学习笔记 -- Basic Premises

3    Basic Premises
3.1    Bridge building
3.1.1    NOTES

1.    Because good will and idealism, while necessary, they are not sufficient. We can take the research and apply it, which goes back to the point why it is so important to bridge Ivory tower and Main Street.
2.    It's important to with the heart and the mind.
3.    What research shows us is reality: what's out there, what’s working and what's not working. And we need to conform to it. Take it into consideration.
3.1.2    Thinking
只有理论或只有实践都是不够的，我们需要学习理论并将它应用在日常生活中。很多时候，我们会跟随着自己的常识或潜意识去做事情，可能也可以做得很好，但感觉也会有缺失的地方甚至有错误的时候，我们需要跟随自己的内心，同时也很有必要看书学习吸收一些研究成果，用于实践中。

3.2    Change is possible
3.2.1    NOTES

4.    To be a practical idealist, the foundation of it has to be the belief that change is possible. Because if the change was not possible on the individual level, on the society level, why am I doing what I am doing? Why would I spend time?
5.    Research is about identifying things that really occur/happen in reality. So one of the first things that I'll argue for in terms of healthy research is "let's also focus on what is working". The second thing that I will argue for in addition to studying what works is also to "let's study what works best".
6.    Can I make a difference? And the answer is absolutely yes. One of the most significant barriers to people doing things in the world, to actually introducing change is that they underestimate their ability to bring about change.
7.    If you make three people-- or even better, four people a day feel good and they make-- they pay it forward and make four others feel good, and so on and so on. Within very little time, the whole world will be made to feel better. This is the nature of an exponential function. So smiles and laughters are contagious.
3.2.2    THINKING
人和社会是可以改变的，否则，天生就是如此，人生该是多么的绝望啊。Let's also focus on what is working and let's study what works best, then applies it. 很多时候，改变是从一个人或少数的几个人开始，一个人的微笑或对他人友善，很可能会让整个社会变得更美好，因为改变的影响是可以是指数级别的增长。
3.3    Internal factors primarily determine happiness
3.3.1    External factors matter little to our wellbeing
3.3.1.1    NOTES
8.    Beyond the basic needs, once our basic needs are met and that means food, shelter, basic education，income makes very little difference to our happiness.
9.    In general, external circumstances make very little difference to our wellbeing.
10.    Place of residents makes very little difference to our happiness.
11.    Very little difference-- where we are, where we live, income levels, lottery, tenure, getting into our dream college, getting our dream job for you seniors-- you may have just gotten it. Yeah, you are going to have a spike in your level of wellbeing-- I'm sure you had a spike in your level of wellbeing when you got this acceptance letter, but very quickly we go back to our base level.
12.    One thing that does matter to our base level of wellbeing which is external circumstance is democracy versus oppression. People living in democracies are generally significantly happier than people living in dictatorships.
13.    These are the extreme circumstance that do make a difference, such as I said, a homeless person, of course, income will make a difference to that person. Moving to a free country, of course, will make a difference to their wellbeing. But beyond the extremes, additions or subtractions to our external circumstances make very little difference.

3.3.1.2    THINKING
外在的环境和影响，对一个人的幸福是比较短暂的。比如，考上名牌大学、获得成功、意外收获、换到一个新的环境去生活、工资增长等外在的影响，会让我们在那一段时间内感觉开心，但是，这种开心持续的时间不一辈子的，随着时间的流逝，自己又会恢复到原来的幸福水平。
在满足了一个人的基本需求后，人的收入、居住环境、考上理想的大学、获得一份理想工作等外部因素，对人的幸福指数影响不大。
3.3.2    Change our internal mind to increase our happiness
3.3.2.1    NOTES
14.    If it doesn't matter, if I experience this ups and downs. And the answer is that-- yes it won't make a difference to our wellbeing but it also doesn't mean that we cannot increase our level of wellbeing.
15.    What will make a difference to our levels of wellbeing is if we have right vs. wrong expectations. It is wrong expectation to expect that getting into a certain place, getting a raise, finding our dream partner, is responsible for our happiness. Moving to California or to (Forts Heimer?). That in and of itself will not make us happier. That's wrong expectation. The right expectation is to believe in change from within.
16.     In fact, our readiness and potential to experience happiness is mostly depended on our state of mind, not on our status, or the states of our bank account.
17.    It's about changing our perception-- state of mind. It's about changing our interpretation of the world, of what's happening to us, of our achievements, of our failures. It's about what we choose to perceive, what we choose to focus on. It's about transformation, as opposed to the external information or the external success.
3.3.2.2    THINKING
既然财富、生活环境甚至终身成就奖这些外部因素都不能让一个人快乐，那么我们还需要努力去追求幸福吗？我们又需要怎样让自己更加快乐？虽然一个人的幸福指数不会因为外部环境的改变而改变，但却可以通过调整我们自己的心态去让自己的幸福指数不断增加。一个人幸福与否与一个人的内心是否强大有关，而和一个人的社会地位或银行存款无关。而强大的内心在于，当有好或不好的事情发生的时候，如何去面对和处理。
一个人是否幸福，和他内心想要什么、如何看待成功和失败、得到和失去是有很大的关系。幸福，其实，就是一种心态。
3.4    Human nature must be obeyed
3.4.1    The Human Nature
3.4.1.1    Note
18.    People who hold constrained vision of human nature, believe that human nature cannot be changed; it's immutable-- we have certain instincts, we have certain inclinations. They are fixed. This is it. What you see is what you get. What you are born with or were born with, as species, is all we have. The flaws that are out there are inevitable-- they cannot be changed. We need to accept them for what they are. That's the only thing we can do with these flaws.
19.    And people who have the constrained vision think that our instincts, our inclinations, our basic nature is immutable, accepted. And then what they do, rather than resign, they channel it. How do they channel it? By building certain political institutions that would channel the flawed, imperfect human nature toward the good. Philosophers and psychologists who fall under the constrained vision create them, philosophies and psychologies and institutions and systems to channel our flawed and imperfect nature.
20.    "Nature to be commanded must be obeyed." Whether it's physical nature, or human nature. We need to obey it. It is what it is.
21.    We may not like it, but it is what it is. We cannot change it. Let's make the best of it and channel it toward the good.
22.    And all we can do after we accept this nature is to first understand it through research, and then after we understand it, make the best use of it. Understand it through research as well as through the search-- through introspection, and then make the best use of it. How can I channel my nature?
3.4.1.2    Thinking
人天生就是优缺点并存，人的天性中就有很多缺点，比如自私、虚荣、妒忌等，我们需要做的是首先要接受这些人的天性，通过研究去了解它，然后反省自我，引导这些缺点往好的方向发展。
3.4.2    The permission to be human
3.4.2.1    Note
23.    But what I am saying is that we all need a space, a place in our own lives where we give ourselves the permission to be human, whether it's with close friends, people we care about, whether it's first and foremost with ourselves when we write a journal, where we do give ourselves the permission to be, to cry, to be joyous-- because if we don't, we pay a price.
24.    When we suppress a natural phenomenon, that phenomenon only strengthens. The same applies to the painful emotions that are natural. And when we try to suppress them, they strengthen.
25.    What I'm talking about is a space, a safe space in our lives with our closest friends, with our family, first and foremost, with ourselves, will we have the permission to be human.
26.    And what I'm not talking about is resignation. Far from it. What I'm talking about is active acceptance. What does that mean? It means understanding that certain things I cannot change and certain things I can and ought to change.
27.    We'll talk about specifically on the lecture on change between affect, behaviors and cognitions. The A, B, C of psychology. Affect-- emotion. Behavior-- action. Cognition-- thoughts.
28.    Unconditional acceptance, permission to be human relates primarily to our affect, to our emotions. Envy is part of human nature-- nothing good or bad about the envy. Nothing good or bad about experiencing the anger. Nothing good or bad about experiencing the depression or anxiety. It's part of human nature.
29.    However, the question is, how do I choose to behave, to act as a result of it? That is where the moral domain enters. That's where I can have moral or immoral behavior toward my best friend or baby, or other people in general.
30.    The same with cognition. I can feel it certain way. But it doesn't mean that I need to resign to my thoughts about that feeling.
31.    And that means not that we don't get ill. It means we get ill less often and when we do get sick, we'll recover more promptly. The difference between the extremely happy people and extremely unhappy people is not that one gets sad, of upset, or anxious, or depressed; and the other does not. Both groups do. It's how quickly, how promptly we can recover from these painful emotions-- in other words, how strong our psychological immune system is. And our psychological immune system strengthens when we give ourselves the permission to be human.
32.    Everyday remind yourself just once or twice to give yourself the permission to be human. And give others that same permission. You deserve it.
3.4.2.2    Thinking
人不可能一直都保持快乐，不可能不遇到痛苦、伤心、失望、愤怒等情绪。当有这些不愉快的情绪出现的时候，不要抑制或害怕，因为那是人的天性，是每个人的一生中自然会遇到的情绪。一个人很难永远都处于幸福快乐的状态，也可能会愤怒、会悲伤、会郁闷、会妒忌等，这些都是很正常的状态，是每个正常的个体都会经历的感情。我们不必要强求自己一定要处于乐观的、快乐的状态，当遭遇不好的事情的时候，大方地承认它、接受它，同时，想办法去解决它，而不是去掩饰它或压抑它。
允许自己作为普通人，经历喜怒哀乐。
permission to be human，并不是说，所有东西都是顺从，而是接受事实的同时，知道哪些东西是不能改变哪些东西可以改变并且应该改变的，更重要的是我们的行为该往价值取向走。
当遇上不好的事情，不要一个人闷在心里胡思乱想，而是写出来或者向自己信赖的人倾诉。
3.5    Happiness is and ought to be the ultimate end
3.5.1    Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life
3.5.1.1    Notes
33.    Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.
34.    How to gain, how to keep, how to recover happiness, is in fact for most men at all times the secret motive of all they do, and all they are willing to endure.
3.5.2    What’s good about positive emotions to yourself?
3.5.2.1    Notes
35.    It feels good to feel good. And that, in and of itself is justification: why not feel good, if we can feel good?
36.    Happiness also contributes to our life, to our relationships. It contributes to other people.
37.    Positive emotions help us think beyond what we are thinking right now, broaden our thinking; they help us build relationships; they help us build capacities.
38.    Through experiences of positive emotions, people transform themselves, becoming more creative, knowledgeable, resilient, socially integrated, and healthy individuals.
39.    Positive emotions help us overcome negative emotions.
40.    Positive emotions broaden and build. Broaden and build leads to positive emotions. It's the positive emotion that can take us out from this downward spiral to this upward spiral.
41.    Positive emotions help to increase creativity.
42.    When you are feeling good, you have more motivation, you have more energy.
43.    Positive emotions form better relationships. They are more open and generous. And they are more creative. All these components ultimately lead to higher levels of success.
44.    Positive emotions not only contribute to our success, they don't just contribute to our feeling good, they also contribute to our wellbeing.
45.    Optimistic people, and again, not Pollyannaish detached optimism, but grounded optimists, on average, live significantly longer.
3.5.2.2    Thinking
幸福是人的追求，因为快乐可以让我们内心感觉快乐，可以让我们变得宽容，也会让我们的思维变得开阔和具有创造性，让我们充满能量，在某种程度上会形成一个两性循环，变得更加快乐，这种快乐也会给周围的人带来感染。
如果可以开心，为什么偏要自己不开心呢？
3.5.3    What’s good about positive emotions to others?
3.5.3.1    NOTES

46.    Happiness is a positive sum game. Because happiness is contagious. If I'm happier, I'm more likely to contribute to other people's happiness and wellbeing.
47.    People who work on happiness, who experience the ups and downs-- but overall work on happiness and become happier and happier, have better relationships, more generous, more accepting of other people, more tolerant of other people as well as themselves.
48.    Feeling good is good for us and good for others, and it works the other way as well. This is a wonderful thing about happiness. It works the other way as well, because helping others also helps ourselves.
49.    Helping others helps ourselves; and helping ourselves, in turn, helps others.
50.    It feels good to feel good. It also contributes to others to feel good
3.5.3.2    THINKING
快乐是可以传递的，周围的人也会因此而感觉快乐。但是，如果自己一直沉迷于悲伤，别人可能也会受到影响。所以，当感觉沮丧的时候，应该转移自己的注意力，往积极的方面去想和做，尽可能让自己比较快地走出不快。
3.5.4    How to spread happiness
3.5.4.1    NOTES
51.    "Be the change you want to see in the world." This is how you bring about change.
52.    People mostly do what you do, rather than what you say.
53.     We want to do good in the world; we want to spread happiness. But remember, people do what you do, not what you say. So you may want to spread happiness, through your word. But ultimately, the best way, the optimal way spreading happiness is to work on your own happiness, because then you are leading by example.
3.5.4.2    THINKING
怎样将快乐传递给别人？最好的方式就是你自己乐观快乐，作为他人的榜样。其实，Leading by example不只是在快乐的传递，在日常生活中，在工作中，也是因为，如果你希望某人是某个样子，首先自己先成为那样的人。