昨天下课后，惯常地点开网易云听音乐，才知道昨天Taylor发了新歌——Call It What You Want.实话说，第一次听，我其实没有很大的感触，但是，当我又再一次地去仔细地品味这首歌的内涵而不仅仅只是旋律时，我才再一次地感叹道，不愧是我霉，这词写得是真好啊！虽然只是一种平平淡淡的调子，但是，却有一种经历了大风大浪之后的云淡风轻……
喜欢Taylor好多年了，从09年第一次听她的歌——《You Belong With Me》，从此耳朵“沦陷”到现在，也有几个年头了。虽然自己从小就对音乐很敏感，但是，却从来没有追过星，或者说只喜欢某一种风格的音乐。因为我听音乐只凭一个条件——感觉。是的，我听歌只凭感觉，我可能会为了一段前奏就喜欢上了这首歌，也可能会因为一段歌曲的高潮即使还在吃饭都忍不住跑去问服务员店里放得这首歌叫什么名字，也正是讲究感觉，所以在流行音乐中我只听歌，从不追星，而我喜欢的歌的种类也是蛮“杂”的，流行，轻音乐，摇滚，说唱，乡村，灵魂，小提琴曲，长笛曲，萨克斯曲，钢琴曲，协奏曲……只要好听不管是什么语言，英语，韩语，日语，法语，意大利语，还是无语(没有歌词的音乐，只是唱)……我本以为这辈子我可能都不会有特别喜欢的歌手了，直到我遇到了Taylor。
其实，我这个人一向对于娱乐圈的明星都挺冷淡的，因为担心有一天偶像的形象轰然倒塌，所以，也就对任何人从一开始就“避而远之”。怎么说，Taylor之于我，不像是一个偶像，不像是一个明星，她在我的心中，只是一个歌手，是的，只是一个歌手，所以这也是我为什么即使从我喜欢上她的歌之后每天都要戴上耳机听一听她的歌，但当有人问起我有没有特别喜欢的明星时，我都会说没有，顶多会多说一句，“我比较喜欢听Taylor的歌”，但那时总是会有人问，“可是我听说她'风评'不太好，总换男友啊”，而我也只是回答，“我只听歌，不看人”。但其实内心还是会有一点小伤感吧，因为我还没有那个勇气说即使这样我也喜欢她!Taylor的歌陪伴了我很长的时间，陪着我走过了初中，高中，也陪着我走到现在，我会在听到《You Belong With Me》时感受到那一份淡淡的苦涩与甜蜜，那种作为小女生对暗恋的男生怦然心动的感觉；我会在《Love Story》中梦想着自己有一天可以穿上婚纱与心爱的那个人情定终生迈向幸福的那一天；我会在《Long Live》中感受到那样一种对于梦想以及未来的憧憬与势在必得，和对那些一直陪伴在自己身旁的人的一种感激与感恩；我会在每一次听《Sparks Fly》时幻想着在将来的某一天谈一场不管不顾，轰轰烈烈的爱情；自然，也会在夜深人静时躺在床上单曲循环着《All Too Well》,感受着那样的一份若有若无的心酸与无奈；也会在遇到别人的打击与挫折时反复地回听着《Mean》，然后告诉自己，一切只是暂时的，成功与快乐才是我要到达的终点……其实本可以就这样一直默默地喜欢着，但是，当我昨天听到这一首歌时，我才忽然意识到，霉霉已经走过这么多年头了，而无论她转型了多少次，交往过多少男友，但是，她也用她那一首首可以戳中我内心的歌伴我走过这么多年。有人说，霉霉这一次是“重生”，她要与过往来一次彻彻底底的决断。但是，我的内心却有一种复杂的情感，那种感觉有一种说不出的心酸，不是不希望她与过去决裂，而是，那个她以前以及在现在在别人眼中“不屑”的霉霉却陪伴我走过了那么多年。但是，当我昨天听到这一首歌时，我忽然有一种遇到了以前的霉霉的相似感，也忽然有一种“释怀”的感觉，虽然我知道，她已不再是以前的那个她，但是，现在这样一种经历过世事后的云淡风轻却更让我感觉温暖，也更让我心醉……
其实每一个女生都希望可以成为一个被人宠爱的小公主，但是，在没有遇到那个人之前，我们必须去成为那样的一个披荆斩棘的女英雄……
也是凑巧，昨天也无意翻到霉霉在全球巡回演唱会上的一段致辞，其中她说道：
“ If you want to change everything，the only way is to change yourself. You’re seeing all these angles of your own life, and then you compare it to other people’s lives when you don’t see what they’re going through, you just see the good parts of what they’re going through, am I right? And so, I say to you, when you start to compare yourselves to other people, please change the channel in your mind to something else, because I think that when it comes to how we see ourselves, other people are really mean, but we’re really mean to ourselves and so it’s easy to get confused, and when you do get confused, and you start feeling like you’re not special, or you’re not different, or you have nothing important to say.
We all feel like that sometimes, but what I want you to do right now is, if there’s one thing you remember from tonight, remember what I’m about to say. You need to look into the mirror in the morning and not tell yourself that you’re not special, or you’re not good enough, you’re not pretty, or you’re not awesome. I’m gonna tell you right now the things you actually are not. These are the things you really are not. You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn’t know you. You are not damaged goods just because you made mistakes in your life. You are not going nowhere just because you haven’t gotten where you want to go yet.
Those are the things you actually are not. Now, I want to tell you what you are. You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile, that’s what you are. You are someone who is wiser because you made mistakes, not damaged, wiser. You are somebody who could be at this moment, right now, sitting there, there, there, there.You are going through whatever you’re going through whatever in your life that’s stressing you out, or confusing you, or making you upset.
But you got out of bed and put on an awesome outfit, and you came to a concert and now we’re all having the best time ever on a Wednesday night. You know it’s not about perfection; it’s about just getting on with things sometimes. Sometimes you just get credit for getting up and going on with things, and you don’t have to do it perfectly. I think that we mistake our mistakes for damage, and we think other people judge us for them, but I want you to know the way that I see mistakes is, they don’t make you damaged, they make you clean.”
而我尤其喜欢这几句话， You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn't know you.You are not damaged goods just because you made mistakes in your life.You are not going nowhere just because you haven't gotten where you want to go yet.You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile, that’s what you are. Mistakes don’t make you damaged, they make you clean.
不了解你的人，他们所说绝不是真正的你。犯过错并不意味着毁掉一生。尚无目标，也并不意味着未来一片渺茫。要永远记得，你才是你自己美丽与价值的唯一定义，记住，错误不会毁了你，只是让你清醒透彻而已。
那一刻，我才终于知道自己为什么会喜欢她了，也是在那一刻忽然想要大声地承认我已喜欢她好多年了，只因为一句话——始于才华，陷于颜值，忠于思想……
其实每一个人都会有那么一段曾被人仰望的时候，也有那么一段被别人攻击的时候，但是，无论何时，我们都应该坚定地走下去，用我们的实力给曾经质疑过我们的人一个响亮的耳光，告诉他们，无论你怎样怼我，老娘我总有一天还是会回来的!而且是脱胎换骨般地回来!就像王尔德说的那样，we are all in the gutter，but some of us are looking at the stars!
我觉得这句话用八个字就可以概括我霉以及我内心中一直以来的信念，那就是——身陷混沌，心向璀璨!
最后只想说，Taylor,I'm so into you.I hope you can find your true love and happiness someday，and I certainly will do that!
