读书笔记：《美国大腿》（American Thighs）作者：吉尔.康娜.布朗(Jill Conner Browne)

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《美国大腿》！看到这个书名，千万别想入非非，像鲁迅先生在<<而已集.小杂感>>中所说的那样：

"...一见短袖子，立刻想到白臂膊，立刻想到全裸体，立刻想到XXX，立刻想到XX，立刻想到XX，立刻想到XXX。"

因为你会大失所望的。

没错，这本书中所写的，都是些“hot ladies”的趣闻轶事，但此“hot”不是辣妹那种“热”，而是更年期妇女那种“热”（擦汗擦汗）！

作者以她独特的“南国美人”（southern Belle）的口吻，幽默地调侃美国南部女性别具一格的人生态度和行为举止：

1. 宁死也不让一头染成金色的头发冒出黑发根的BLOND-EE:

“She didn't feel like it WAS her day to die, but if it WAS, she wasn't going out with black roots OR bald.”

（是不是跟咱们中国女人的“不许人间见白头”有异曲同工之趣？）

2. 为不让男友失望而拿起彩笔给自己身上某部位描画出与头发颜色相同的体毛的葛林大妈：

“And now she had a bona fide Gentleman Caller and here she sat with her head full of boot-black hair and her hoo-hoo bald as an egg. What to do? What to do? ”

“Girlene just thought the old boy might need some kind of landmark until he sorta got the lay of the land, so to speak.”

3. 为模仿70年代爆炸头发型而在假发下垫着一卷卫生纸而假发被屋檐花篮挂住掀开露出顶着卫生纸的"玛莎女皇"：

“Yes, she continued moving forward while her supplemental hair remained hanging right along with the basket, swaying slightly in the soft breeze.”

等等等等......

啊？扯了半天连半截“美国大腿”都没见着？也太扯了吧？

别猴急！人家吉尔姐姐这不为你娓娓道来了吗？

“THIGHS(more specifically, women's thighs) are really a major factor in just about every aspect of our daily lives. I would rank them second only to our hormones in level of importance and influence on the Universe as we know it. ”

“I can hear you asking, “Is she SERIOUS?”Naaahhh, not really. However, I have found that thighs, most often my own, but not infrequently those of others as well, have, in fact, played and continue to play a fairly significant role in all phases of my life. （Thighs as a birth control, for example. Pretty efficient when used[as in “closed”] regularly--but backup is highly recommended.）This is not a whole book about thighs, obviously, but I think the subject bears some examination--in terms of discussion only, of course, no way am I bringing out my actual THIGHS for examination--not even if you're blind”

早知如此，还不如去UBC“沉船滩”看些“加国大腿”好了！