One ordinary night inlast Month, I spent the most miserable time in my life. We, the whole familymembers were spending time together at home, but I cried hardly, as I was hit by my husband. It hurt me painfully, so Ihit back using full of strength, and then a fight back from him. Yeah, youguessed right, we got a domestic violence.
I couldn’t controlmyself to the emotional outburst, after I hit back on him, my heart felt alittle bit of release. But as a result, this scene was seen by my kids, theyhugged together first, seeing my sorrow, they sat with me closer so as to stopmy crying, I felt I am the victim at that time, so negative emotion was full ofme, so I didn’t console them, but ask them to give pressure to their father.End of the story is they refused to talk with father for several days, and whenwe talked louder now, the younger daughter asked, “Are you fighting with eachother? Stop that !”
My dear friends, I sincerelyhope it is the last time I did this kinds of stupid thing.
So regretful to bearwith the result, that my kids felt unsafe from their parent, my body hurt, mywork affected, and it didn’t make any positive effect on my husband, I foundanother soft way is better for our communication. So my friends, how dare we lose temper. Is it important to manage our emotion ? To solve the problem, first ask why do we have negative emotion? I consulted with some teachers who isprofessional on family education, listened their wechat classes. Finally .I learned the emotions come from our belief system, that including our viewpoints,our experience, our value to the world.
It means your emotions come from your subjective feeling, other people are just the external
inducement.
Give an example here,if it was raining outside, how will be your feeling? Sb is happy as they had romantic or posititve feeling when raining.Sb is sad, all their memory are bad on the rainy days. So emotions are decided by ourself, positive or negative emotions areproduced by our belief system.
When we got into someterrible emotions, almost lose our temper, how shall we manager our emotion?
Enlarge our beliefsystem, increase our tolerance. It is very difficult but it’s the most effective way.
For example, if I and my colleague was criticized by our boss for 2 hours, we got many harsh words,scared warning from him, see which way is better to handle the negative emotion.
My colleague cameback and shouted ”I’ll quilt, what a terrible company, I can’t bear with it anymore.” Is outburst good way to manager his anger? No!
Or if he said nothing, but hidden his anger inside inner heart, more & more anger werehidden, finally one day he can’t bear with it. A more serious outburst mayhappen. So bear with the anger is also no a good way.
I will handle this situationin this way.
1)Decreased my anger to the minimum level. Left the office, walked a while, wrote down your feeling, tell yourself”I know I am having the angry feeling, I accepted it, I will get along with it,I believe the anger will disappear in a way.”
I amtelling my subconscious, I can accept the anger, then I will release.
2)Analyzed if anything I did wrong, how can Iimprove?
3)Apologize to the manager, you are my goodleader, I learned much from you. you paid 2hrs on me, I appreciated for your teaching,I will cherish this chance…
You seethe negative emotions transferred to positive emotion.
So get along with your emotion, negativeemotions have positive meaning.
Right now, know well about your emotions, youcontrol them, not they control you!