10 Basic rules to have"Better Conversation"
看懂这10条，做个愉快的聊天者
大家有有时候，是不是总觉得，不知道怎么开口和人家聊天，和人家聊了，也没有多少的进步？那到底怎样才能做个人见人爱的聊天者呢？今天Kally请了好朋友Siva 给大家分享他的一些小领悟，原创作品，欢迎支持哦！Siva是我身边一位很有能量的朋友，印度工程师，目前在无锡工作，在一家瑞士跨国公司做了多年的项目经理。平时也喜欢写作，很荣幸邀请他在这个公众号平台上分享他的原创文章，希望大家喜欢。也希望借这个机会，认识更多志同道合的朋友，如果你喜欢文章，也希望获得更多的职场、生活指导，欢迎留言进行探讨，期待你更多的见解！
Every conversation in this world has the potential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can't speak to one another and where even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it's not normal.
We're less likely to compromise, which means we're not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be, based on what we already believe. Again, that means we're not listening to each other.
We've all had really great conversations. We've had them before. We know what it's like. The kind of conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired, or where you feel like you've made a real connection or you've been perfectly understood. There is no reason why most of your interactions can't be like that.
So I here below 10 basic rules. I'm going to walk you through all of them, but honestly, if you just choose one of them and master it, you'll already enjoy better conversations.
1 Don't multitask 不要一心多用
I mean, be present. Be in that moment. Don't think about your argument you had with your boss. Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it.
2 Don't pontificate 不要武断
If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.Sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion.
"Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't". Bill Nye
你见过的每个人都或多或少知道些你不知道的东西。
Everybody is an expert in something. 每个人都可能是某些领域的专家。
3.Use Open-ended Questions问开放式的问题
In this case, take a cue from journalists. Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how. If you put in a complicated question, you're going to get a simple answer out. Try asking them things like, "What was that like?" "How did that feel?" Because then they might have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you're going to get a much more interesting response.
4.Go with the flow 有什么说什么
That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind. You need to let them come and let them go.
5.If you don't know, say that you don't know你不知道，就坦白说不知道
Talk should not be cheap. （Don't talk about unnecessary things）
6.Don't equate your experience with theirs 不要推己及人
All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it is not about you. You don't need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you've suffered. Somebody asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was, and he said, "I have no idea. People who brag about their IQs are losers."
Conversations are not a promotional opportunity. 交流不是促销会。
7.Try not to repeat yourself 尽量不要重复表达
It's condescending, and it's really boring, and we tend to do it a lot. Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids, we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over. Don't do that.
8.Stay out of the weedsm去除无关紧要的信息
Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you're struggling to come up with in your mind. They don't care. What they care about is you. They care about what you're like, what you have in common. So forget the details. Leave them out.
9.Listen, Listen, Listen 注意聆听，重要的事情说三遍
This is not the last one, but it is the most important one.
Listen
Buddha said, and I'm paraphrasing, "If your mouth is open, you're not learning." And Calvin Coolidge said, "No man ever listened his way out of a job."The average person talks at about 225 word per minute, but we can listen at up to 500 words per minute. So our minds are filling in those other 275 words.
You have to listen to one another. Stephen Covey said it very beautifully.
He said, "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply."
我们听别人的话，不仅仅是为了明白，更重要的是只有听清楚了，才能更好的回答。
10.Be Brief 简明扼要
A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
一个好的对话就像一条迷你裙一样，足够短才能保持兴致，但也足够长能涵盖主题。
All of this boils down to the same basic concept, and it is this one: Be interested in other people.以上所有的点都要基于这个最基本的理念，那就是，你必须也对他人的表达感兴趣。
Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.
走出去，去和别人交谈，去聆听别人，最重要的是，随时准备好为别人的妙语连珠所倾倒！
怎么样？如果大家对如何做个愉快的交谈者，也有自己的看法，欢迎留言哦！
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