I'm Bold, But Not Brave

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这是我的第5篇英语习作，想聊一聊的是“勇气”这件事。我总觉得勇气和大胆是不一样的，大胆更为莽撞，而勇气是一种更为珍贵、且时时被生活打磨的品质。希望这篇文章能讲清楚这件事。后附翻译，但更希望你能读一读我稚嫩的英语笔触，用词简单，你一定能读懂。

As far as my parents and friends are concerned, they believe that I am a brave girl. When we went to the Amusement Park or Carnival, I was always the most brave one. The roller coaster, water ride, drop tower, etc., non of them can make me feel scared. On the contrary, I would always become very excited to take a try.  

But from my own perspective, I think this wasn't brave but just bold. There's some difference between the two things. When I played in Carnival, or tried skydiving, or even did the investment, I wasn't afraid since I trusted the security of the equipment, and the skill of the coach or the luck of myself. I just didn't think too much. So for me, there is nothing worth the compliment.

However, bravery is quite a different thing. It's a character can be earned. And it's also a quality can be faded. We all are the products of our genes and our environment. And all the encounters with the reality will shape our features. Life is not easy. When we grew up, we were forced to face more struggles in life and sometimes we got failed. Fully being aware of the chance that we may get failed, and admitting that we are the only one to get blamed with, or take responsibility of, you would still have the courage to take a try again. I believe this is bravery.

In the past several years, I lacked this quality - the courage to face my fear. I stayed in my comfort zone all the time and tried to block the hard feelings from every aspect of my life. So I always avoided the encounters with anything new or unfamiliar and convinced myself to believe that I didn't need and care them at all. 

Fortunately, Li XiaoLai rescued me from this illusion half a year ago. He shared his own experience of how he became a popular and successful English teacher while his pronunciation was so terrible. He displayed how messy his articles were during his initial writing period. From his stories, I learnt that one need not have to hide his/her clumsy and there's no shame if you can't do something well. Even when you failed, it's not the end as long as you're assertive that you will make progress.

Influenced by his positive attitude to clumsy, I have changed a lot. Even I still have different fears in my life, rather than running away, I learnt that there was another way to face the struggle - I can face it. We can treat every struggle as a challenge, and regard our life as a game. The failure is just one encounter and the ups and downs are quite normal in this adventure. The most important thing is that it will not over until you win. This belief is the true bravery.

I belive I will be both bold and brave someday.

在我父母和朋友的眼中，我是一个很勇敢的女孩。当大家一起去主题公园或者嘉年华游玩时，随便什么项目我都跃跃欲试，过山车、激流勇进、直上直下，没有什么项目会让我害怕。

但我自己明白，我并不是勇敢，我只是胆子大。我想，这两者还是有区别的。当我在嘉年华游玩时，当我玩跳伞时，当我去做投资理财时，我的不畏惧只是源于我对游乐设施安全性的信任，我对跳伞教练技术的放心，以及我对自己运气的笃定。我只是初生牛犊不怕虎，而这些并没有什么值得称赞的。

勇敢应该是另外一回事。那应该是一种可以被习得的品质，却也可能因磨砺而消逝。我们每一个人都是基因和环境的产物。在与现实碰撞的过程中，我们同时被影响和塑造着。生活并不容易。在我们长大的过程中，我们不得不面对很多挫折与失败。只有充分了解到自己可能遭遇失败，并坦然承认自己需要承担的责任，接受自己是唯一那个要被责怪的对象，而你仍然有勇气去做下一次的尝试。那才是勇敢的价值。

过去的几年中，我一直缺乏这样的品质——面对自己的恐惧，我缺乏勇气。我只愿意尝试那些自己能做好的领域。而对于那些有失败风险的事，我将它们统统隔离在外，在我规避失败可能性的同时，我也规避掉了那些可以给我的生活带来生命力的新鲜、陌生，及由此而来的随意的碰撞。更糟糕的是，我一直在自欺欺人地说服自己，我并不需要这些新鲜，我并不在乎这些错过。

是李笑来将我从这一场自我设限的幻象中解救了出来。他和我们分享了他个人的故事：他的发音很糟糕，可是他却能成为一名优秀且受欢迎的英语老师。他愿意将自己早期很杂乱的文章展示给大家看，告诉大家，在起步时的拙劣都是可以被原谅的，谁都经历过。从他的经历中，我获得了能量和勇气，并且体谅了那个笨拙的自己，我们不需要刻意隐藏那个尚未优秀的自己，那只是暂时的一个阶段而已。即便你失败了，只要你认定这不是终点，你就可以持续进步。

今天的我，面对生活，依然抱有很多恐惧。但是面对困难时，我知道了逃跑外的另一种选项——我可以去面对我的恐惧。我们可以将这些挣扎视作一次挑战，将我们的生命看作一场游戏。眼前的失败只是生命中的一个经验、一次与现实的碰撞，而这一场生命的冒险中上下起伏延绵不断，实属正常。只要你不喊停，这就不是终点。只要你不认输，你就还有机会。拥有这样的信念，才是真的勇敢。