甘比英文拓展写作-描述风景-鯨鯨菰

Day1

习作（含修改痕迹）

From the picture we can see that a clear creek wining through the woods.The creek is a rapid flow, splashing spray and whirlpool . Near  the water`s edge, there are stones and tree trunks with different forms. A large stone lies across the bank. Half sections of trunks are immerged in the water.

修改：wining→wine                                                                                                            whirlpool 漩涡，不合情境，删去                                                                                    with→in

Have a close observation to stones and tree trunks, you will find that they are all slimy and green moss. An obvious conclusion---no one has been here for a long time. On the moss, fallen leaves scatter here and there. Some of them also float above the water. Those leaves are dark red, maybe many maples are around here .

修改：                                                                                                                        Have→Having                                                                                                            they are all slimy and green moss→they are covered by slimy and green moss.   many maples are around here→they are maple leaves.

Looking to the distance, a long and sturdy tree trunk lies across the bank. Many slender branches develop from it. What lies beyond are more trees on the field covered by fallen leaves. The whole scenery assumes the atmosphere of silence. Cold air seems to flow in it.

修改：                                                                                                                            a long and sturdy tree trunk→可以这样叠用俩形容词吗

总结：在拓展写作班的正式第一天，还欠了那篇热身的花没有写完，当时一看就退缩了，但是今天一看坚持下来也能憋出160词呢，前两段写溪水，石头，树干，后一段写远景和氛围，能憋出这么多词还是要给自己赞一个~

今天在修改时看到不少细小的语法错误，单复数，时态，但最大的问题还是句式和用词的低级以及可能自己还没发现的语法错误~加油~继续前进!